RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
by Doorist -vyvrik
Summary: Beth dumps Cody & starts malicious rumours about him & his stable mate, doing him the biggest favour of his life. Written with the lovely dierubberducky
1. Chapter 1

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 1

Words: 6745

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: M (for now)

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

Disclaimer: we own nothing, it's all in our heads...

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

...

**Flopping down dramatically, I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before running my hands over my face in frustration trying to process everything that had just happened. She looked at me like I was a petulant teen when I dared demand answers, then she stormed out, and I just didn't understand what had happened. Everything seemed to be going so well. I nearly had heart failure when she finally up and told me her suspicions. I just... I couldn't get my head around it. I took another deep breath and sat up, grabbing the bottle of vodka from the floor, it was a girl's drink, **_**her**_** drink, but I didn't care, and took another gulp before flopping back down.**

I was coming back down the corridor to my room after a heavy workout, ipod still blaring in my ears, you know the score. But just as I was swiping my card and the track changed, I could've sworn I heard shouting coming from the room next door. Pausing in concern, and not wanting to eavesdrop but I couldn't exactly help it, I wondered what the hell was going on. I'd never heard Beth and Cody argue before, not like that... just as I was about to walk inside Beth came storming from her room, stopping upon seeing me standing there in surprise and slapped me hard across my cheek, what the fucking fuck?

"You bastard!" she was fucking livid at me, but all I could do was stare after her as she disappeared into the lift.

**I heard some commotion outside but just ignored it, too stunned to care about anything else right now, too busy feeling my head spin a little as I stood up, anger flooding through me. How fucking DARE she think that? What the fuck had I ever done to make her think something was going on? With Randy of all people. On screen is an act. It's what we do! It's my fucking JOB. I growled, reaching across the table for a packet of cigarettes, grabbing one, gratefully lighting it up. **

All I could do was stand staring after Beth in shock, my face fucking stinging where she slapped me, a massive red imprint already visible, not that I could see it of course, but I just knew, I could already fucking feel it. I watched her disappear, turning back to look at the door she'd just slammed, the room beyond now deathly silent. Knocking quietly, I pressed my ear to the cool wood, "Codes?" I tapped again, "You in there?"

No answer...

I tapped again, "You okay?"

**I took a long drag from my smoke and scowled at the door, groaning inwardly, '**_**Fuck off'**_** I thought, but walked over anyway and swung it open. **

**"Fucking peachy... why's your face all red?" **

**"Um, Beth hit me... what's going on?" **

**I let out a breathy laugh as I walked back inside leaving the door open. **

**"Beth broke up with me." I said blankly, reaching down and grabbed my case, shoving everything that was mine from the floor inside.**

I wasn't quite sure I'd heard right, Beth doted on Cody from everything I'd seen, maybe even a little too much... but I was totally surprised if I'm honest. And why the fuck did she hit _me_? Did she think I was covering up some sordid affair for him or something?

"Oh…"

I didn't know what else to say, so I just watched him packing his stuff, but curiosity got the better of me, "Why?"

**I let out a bitter laugh. "Man you don't even want to fucking know," I said, shaking my head before grabbing the bottle from the floor. "She thinks we're fucking."**

Umm what the fuck? I stood there staring at him for a sec, positive I hadn't heard him right that time, maybe my ears were messing with me after blaring Pantera for the last hour and a half.

"Who?"

**Taking in a deep breath, I looked right at him, debating whether or not to tell him the truth, and exactly what to say... **

**"Beth. thinks. me. and. YOU. are. fucking." I say it slowly, rolling my eyes, but it doesn't stop my gut twisting as the words become solid and real in the air. **

**And when I receive no response whatsoever I can't help but sigh heavily, sitting on the edge of the bed and running my fingers through my hair.**

I laughed like a maniac, surely this was merely some elaborate prank designed to fuck with me? Right? But I could hear the hysteria rise in my voice as I realised he wasn't laughing at all, in fact looked completely blank and actually a little green as he swigged far too fast from a bottle of bright red vodka. I was now successfully reeling from the shock, and he just shrugged and stared at me flatly, and I just literally stared back at him. I'm sure my mouth must've been hanging limply somewhere down by my feet, what the fucking fuck? No wonder she hit me with a fist like a fucking suit of armour glove!

"What?"

"You heard."

"Dude, what the fuck?" I stared at him sitting there looking like he wanted the whole floor to open up and swallow him. Heh, swallow him. My mind instantly went to the gutter with that thought, fuck what am I? 12? I just can't believe it, it's like my brain is incapable of processing something so out of leftfield.

"You're joking right?"

**"Does it look like I'm fucking joking?" I snap, I can't help it, he's just really not helping right now and I can't deal with his questions when I have enough of my own. I take a deep breath and shake my head, "I just... ugh fuck Randy what the fuck am I gonna do?" **

**Looking at him standing there, all flushed and awkward, shock written plainly across his face, I sigh heavily and I take my phone out of my pocket after it beeped. **

_**-*You better be gone from that room by the time I get back*- **_

**I groan desperately, closing my eyes, too fucking much in one day. Beth breaking up with me, okay whatever, I guess I can deal with that you know? But now she thinks I'm fucking Randy? I don't even know what the fuck made her think that!**

"But... but why? I don't get it." I stared at him dumbly, but something in the way he groaned at that text made me realise he was telling the truth. Not that I ever doubted him, not him, no, but I dunno, the whole thing I guess is just fucking madness.

"But why? Why the fuck would she think that? About, about US? What the FUCK?"

I knew my voice was rising in panic there but I wasn't shouting at him, I was just so fucking confused.

**I looked at him, frowning. "Oh, I don't know," I said growling as I kicked one of her shoes across the floor, "Maybe it's the way you're always all fucking over me in the ring?" **

**I took in a deep breath and shook my head at his incredulous expression. "Man I didn't mean it like that... but that's what she kept saying. Shit like, we're always together and in the ring we're *too* close... and FUCK I don't KNOW!" **

**I feel like screaming I'm so fucking mortified and pissed off. I kneel down and close up my case roughly.**

I ducked when that second shoe practically came flying at my head, my mouth hanging open even further at what he'd just said, all over him in the ring? What the FUCK? When exactly? When? Seriously man, like actually when? And always together? Well duh, we're friends, we've been friends longer than she's even been on the scene and we're not just gonna stop cos she's there! What the fucking fuck? Too close? Isn't he allowed friends now then? Just her? So it's all about what we do in the ring? What DO we do in the ring?

I think hard, I dunno, nothing like, whatever she's suggesting, I mean seriously, come on now man, serious. But I don't say any of this to Cody, he doesn't look like he's taking it too well. Well of course he's not, his fucking girlfriend just broke up with him and accused him of fucking around. With a dude. With me.

With ME.

It suddenly hits me what that actually means, and I panic.

"Uh, yeah, so, where you going?"

I realise he's packing, as in PACKING, obviously she's chucked him out...

**I lean against the door and grab the handle of my case. "Don't suppose they have anymore fucking free rooms left?" I say, glancing up and balking at the look on his face. **

**"Look man... it's not your fault ok? She's just fucking paranoid..." **

**I take in a deep breath, calming myself down slightly. I just want to go home now. Fuck touring. Fuck this shit. It wasn't fucking worth it anymore. I drop my keycard on the bed and pull my case past Randy, walking out into the hall.**

Fuck. Fuck. Well, this is certainly... fucked. I actually don't know what to say. Or do. I feel like a prize jackass to be honest, standing uselessly like a great lump. I hear the lift ping in the distance and suddenly realise if Beth comes back and I'm standing here she's only gonna get the wrong idea... man, he's my friend for fuck sake, I'm allowed to be concerned when I hear shouting coming from his room then his girlfriend smacks me in the face, any friend would go see what's happening, right? Any friend, like real friend, would go check he's okay, right? But I knew she wouldn't see it like that. Not now. I wondered how long she'd been thinking like this as I pushed my own door back open, flinging myself down on the bed.

**Beth walks past me in the hall, not even looking at me. I don't even try to stop her. I just... **

**I don't know what to say. **

**I make my way to the lobby and ask the receptionist about a room but, of fucking course, all of them are booked up. Closing my eyes briefly before getting back into the elevator, I start flicking through my phone, looking for someone who isn't already sharing a room, but there's no one. **

**Except Randy of course. But that will just make things a lot worse.**

I head back out to go get something to eat before I bother with a shower, I'm fucking starving and I saw a vending machine just there by the... oh. There, next to the lift, Cody's just kinda standing there, like with his bags, looking at his phone. He's facing the other way so he doesn't see me, and I debate just turning around and sneaking back the way I came... but before I get the chance my phone goes off in my pocket and well, there's no way he couldn't have heard it

**I turn my head and see Randy in the hall, looking slightly awkward and I sigh heavily. **

**"Mind if I crash with you tonight? No more fucking rooms..." I can't blame him for feeling awkward to be honest. He's probably paranoid over every little thing he does now, every look, over thinking every touch, probably has no idea what the hell to think. **

"Um..."

I instantly went to say yes, but then I also instantly stopped myself, I mean, I dunno if it's really such a good idea, you know? Knowing Beth all kinds of rumours are probably already flying around the locker room and this will only compound everything further, fuel to the fire...

But I can see I hesitated long enough for him to notice and it's like his whole body physically slumps in front of me,

"Yeah sure," I shrug, trying to look nonchalant, unaffected, "Of course."

**I watch him for what feels like ages. I actually think he's going to say he doesn't want me sharing with him, he wasn't starting to think I was gay too was he? I let out a heavy breath and my shoulders falter, and I'm sure my face must've dropped a little 'cos he suddenly agreed. I didn't mean to pull a guilt trip on him, I just suddenly realised I didn't know what I'd do if he said no. I'd been about to turn around with my bag, ready to find a different hotel completely to stay in before he says I can stay. I hold my breath slightly, forcing a smile on my face. **

**"Thanks," I mumble, lugging my case towards him.**

"No problem..." I say purely out of reflex, "It's... it's no problem," I finish, faltering, knowing that actually, it probably is.

Or will be.

I'm about to clap my hand on his back as he walks past me, like I usually would, I mean, like I _used_ to do... but my hand stops in midair as I catch myself, suddenly realising maybe I need to start actually thinking before I, well, do anything.

I know he saw, I can tell by the way his shoulders hunch and he hurries up, grumbling something under his breath as I follow, forgetting all about my initial reason for even being in the fucking hall in the first place.

**I catch him about to clap my shoulder and stop mid air. I take in a deep breath and shake my head, going towards his room. "This is fucking stupid," I grumble, leaning against the door.**

"Sorry..." I mumble as I catch up, opening the door for him, pushing it open so he has to duck under my arm to get in. With the proximity of his nose to my armpit I suddenly realise I still stink, and also got totally sidetracked from the reason I was even out here in the hall in the first place,

"I'll be right back...food..." I say to his questioning glance, "Want something?"

**"No thanks," I say, ducking under his arm and walking inside. I drop my case in a corner and turn, glancing at him, "I'm not exactly hungry anymore." I kneel down and open my case, rummaging through it.**

Ah fuck. This is just all fucking shit. I practically stomp down the hall again, I know I've got a face on that'll scare anyone that dares cross my path but _fuck_, you know? Maybe if I talk to her? Maybe if I try explain? Explain what? Cos fuck, we've done nothing! Of course we've done nothing!

Oh my god.

I still can't even believe she thinks that! What the fucking fuck? I'll ask him first, see what he says… and just as I'm lost in thought deciding what I want from the machine, a massive hand slaps down on my shoulder and I can FEEL the fucking grin without even having to see it. The fucker.

"Fuck off John."

"What?"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing!" I can hear the singsong voice he's employed, just to wind me the fuck up and I'm not in the mood, but he follows me back down the hall, pushing past me at the door.

**I grab a towel and I go into the shower, washing myself quickly and wrapping the towel around my waist when I get out. I feel frustration flood through me and I swallow hard, leaning against the door of the bathroom, gathering myself for a moment before walking back into the room to grab my sweatpants.**

John's eyebrows are instantly in his hairline as soon as he walks in, that fucking smirk that I just wanna wipe right off his face along with his stupid dimples.

"WHAT?" I practically shout, following him in... and fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Just great. Cody's standing there dripping wet in a fucking towel, looking like some bronzed god -just cos he _IS_ okay, not cos that's what I think- and yeah, it's the last thing I need. Fuck. Just FUCK.

**I grab my pants from my case as the door opens and I stand up, water rolling from my hair down my shoulder and back. **

**"Hey John," I mumble, arching an eyebrow at Randy. I glance at both of them, frowning before going back into the bathroom, drying myself off and pulling on my pants.**

Yeah. That was not good. Not good. Not fucking good at all. John is like, beaming at me like the fucking sun, megawatt grin just begging me to wipe it off his face. And I think maybe he senses that cos he steps back, chuckling, that fucker, shaking his head at me and making that face, you know the one, that face people make when they think they've caught you doing something… Aaarghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Before I even realise what I'm doing I've grabbed him and frogmarched him back to the door, forcing him out as he cackles away, before realising that probably looks even worse.

I bang my head against the door frame repeatedly, cursing my stupidity under my breath… and not for the first time wondering why it seems to be so easy for everyone to just instantly believe it.

**I come back from the bathroom and see Randy shoving John out and I blink, seeing Randy banging his head off the door. I stare at him for a few seconds. **

**"That's not really a good idea..." I say, bringing the towel up and drying my hair, "What did John want?"**

I sighed heavily, banging my head one last time for good measure before slowly turning, scowling at the fact it was actually now throbbing a bit, but was that from the door or this gigantic headache of _pissed off as fuck_ I was developing?

"Nothing." I said, but I knew he didn't buy it even for a second, "Man, trust me, you really don't wanna know."

**I sat down on the bed and shook my head. "Enlighten me," I say, rubbing the back of my neck, "Or can I guess... John was being a nosey shit? FUCK can she not keep her fucking mouth shut for five fucking seconds?" **

**I growl and flop back on the bed, closing my eyes as the smell of Randy's body wash filled my nose. I took a deep breath and held it, biting my lip gently before glancing at him.**

**"I'm kinda fucked aren't I?" I ask, my head starting to throb.**

I sighed again, resignedly this time, "Yep."

This really sucked, we hadn't even done anything and we were already acting guilty. Acting awkward around each other. Well, I was… Cody to his credit wasn't doing anything different, but I just... I dunno, I couldn't stop questioning what the fuck it was that made Beth think that to begin with, and now John just totally believing it too? What the fucking fuck? I could think of nothing, NOTHING that would make Beth even consider it, but then again, I'm not a paranoid fucking bimbo with a ... no, I'm not even gonna say that, that's mean even for me.

"Sorry man..."

**I look up at him and swallow hard, taking in a shaky breath. "It's not your fault... not really anyway," I say, chewing my lip, "It was just... ugh I don't know, she just freaked out. She saw a few of our matches a while ago and laughed a bit saying you were being a bit touchy with me... and since then.. fuck, she's just been constantly at my throat every single time we get in the ring..." I taper off, then growl and tilt my head back, closing my eyes.**

I watch him lay back there, all stretched out, I mean, I know he's a good looking guy, but like I said before, that's just cos he IS not cos _I_ think he is, you can't change a fact, you know? So I stare at him and I wonder if maybe there's something I do when I look at him, like if my face does something, I dunno, GAY, that made Beth think that? And in the ring, touchy with him? In what way? I want answers damnit! I literally can't think of anything! Seriously!

"How? I mean like, what do you mean, touchy?"

**I let out a small laugh and open my eyes, shaking my head a little, totally embarrassed having to explain something that was clearly just all in Beth's head. I felt so stupid even just saying it. **

**"I never noticed it, but she did," I say, shifting back so I'm laying down fully on his bed, rubbing my eyes a little, "Just like.. I dunno... like the way you touch my hip or the back of my neck... I don't know..."**

He looks kinda nervous when I ask him that, like rubbing his eyes and stuff so he didn't have to look at me... or was he just tired and getting comfy in my bed? I dunno, and there it is again. _IN MY BED_. What if someone else walks in now? Fuck. but then I hear what he says, and I'm sure my eyes widen a little,

"Touch your hip? I uh..."

Really? Do I do that? Really?

"Sorry man, I uh, I didn't realise I uh... sorry..."

I drift off cos my mind is actually reeling, I seriously don't ever remember touching… his _hip_? Really? Like ever! My eyes widen at just the thought. I mean if I did it wasn't on purpose, just part of the match, you know? I'm sure I've touched just about everybody else's hip too... right? Was she just seeing stuff that wasn't there or what?

"I seriously don't even, dude I never meant to like, touch you there..."

**I arch an eyebrow and look at him. "Stop apologising... you know what you're like out there... you just get into this, like I dunno man, you go into this trance or something and just do whatever works, it's all instinct..." **

**I lick my lips quickly, tapping my fingers on top of my bare stomach. "And it's only my hip," I say, "Nothing bad..." I chew my lip again, taking a deep breath.**

"Well, obviously it's bad enough!" I fume now, feeling stupid and embarrassed and I know my face is hot, how often do I go around groping people without even realising it?

"It's bad enough if it's cost you your relationship Cody! Fuck! And now the whole company is gonna think we're… _fucking_!"

I knew I pulled a face when I said that, but I couldn't help it, "Does everyone think I just go around constantly groping you? Did _YOU_ notice?"

**I sit up and take in a breath. "Did I notice? Randy of course I fucking noticed..." **

**I try to think of a way to put it without him flipping his lid. "But that's you in the ring, Randy. The way you move around people... it's like... I don't know how to explain it. The way you make it seem natural and completely fine. And no one ever noticed... until Beth..."**

_He_ noticed...

"You noticed?"

I watch him nod, wondering how he felt about that, wondering if he thought...

"Cody do you… do _you_ think I'm fucking gay?"

The words were out of my mouth before I even realised it and now I held my breath waiting for his response.

**I can't help but laugh a bit at the question and I roll my eyes. "Do you think **_**I**_** am?"**

Hm, he totally avoided answering... then I realised what he said, "What? No! I never thought that!"

**I nod my head. "I see." I lay back down and closed my eyes again. **

What? What does that mean? He's sees what? What the fuck? "You see? You see what? What the fuck does that mean?"

I know I'm shouting and I don't mean to get angry with him... but now I'm looming over him as he's still there on my bed.

**"It means nothing Randy," I say, looking up at him hovering above me. I look straight into his eyes and shake my head a little, "Calm down."**

"Okay."

I do calm down, instantly when he says it. I realise he always has that effect on me, no one else ever can make me do something they tell me to, just like that...

"Sorry…"

Something in his eyes makes me back down, and I do, feeling stupid, running my hand over my head in frustration and a little bit of embarrassment too.

**I sit up and look at him, licking my lips quickly, "Randy I don't know what's going to happen now. You know Beth has a big fucking mouth. John already proved that..." **

**I sigh heavily and spy my bottle of vodka on the floor, "Look, we haven't done anything," I say getting up, "So at the end of the day, we're not lying."**

I stand there staring, hand on my head as all the worst case scenarios race through my mind, and finally I just shrug, "Whatever."

What's done is done, you know? I notice him swig from his bottle of vodka and think that that looks like a pretty damn good idea. But I'm not sure I should face the hotel bar where the others might be just waiting for the opportunity to rip into me. But then again, it might look worse hiding away up here with Cody...

I sigh in frustration, arm dropping to my side, and just storm into the bathroom in a huff, turning the hot water on high.

**I sigh heavily, swallowing the vodka down before coughing a little, shaking my head again, whatever this red shit is it's certainly doing the job. **

**I can't even understand how the hell this came out. I mean, sure he touched me in the ring but that's as far it ever went, it was just an act. He didn't mean to do it, did he? I watch his scowl and I can't help the horrible feeling in my gut as he storms into the bathroom and slams the door shut. I bite my lip gently, staring at the door for a long few moments before groaning to myself. **

**I take another swig from my bottle and wonder if I should talk to Beth. Maybe it's too soon? I stand up and walk the room like an idiot, hoping Randy was ok. I didn't want him feeling Beth's wrath. He never did anything wrong. Ever.**

Do I really touch him that much in the ring? I mean really? Why the fuck would I ever need to touch his thigh? His neck? Do I touch other people too? Or just Cody?

I really don't know!

And now it's all I can fucking think about! Does everyone think I'm some kind of fucking gay groper? Cody said he didn't...

I sigh inwardly again, standing under the hot spray, rinsing the soap from my head and I shut my eyes, hearing a knock on the main room door outside. Fuck this really isn't happening... I step out, listening as best I can as I shut off the water, reaching for my towel, fuck, FUCK! It's on the bed outside & Cody fucking used the other one!

**I grab my laptop, opening it straight onto youtube, finding some of me and Randy's old matches. I need to know what the hell she was on about. I know he touches me... fuck I know he does. But it's not that bad, and he doesn't just fondle me or anything. I mean, fuck we work together in the ring really well and it just works so well... **

**I sit back and watch the matches, my head racing as I see **

**those small touches... almost gentle caresses and my stomach flips over. **

**I swallow hard, replaying them as my cheeks flush madly, snapping the laptop shut when a knock comes to the door. Taking in a shaky breath, I stand up and open it, arching an eyebrow when I see John. I have the sudden urge to put a shirt on and cover myself up for some reason. **

Fuuuuck. All I have is a fucking hand towel, barely big enough to cover my cock and there's someone at the door. I'm not putting my workout clothes back on, I can smell them from here. Maybe I'll just stay in here until whoever it is has fucked off.

Yes. That sounds like a plan.

Then I hear John's voice and I instantly flush bright red, I know I do, I can feel my cheeks burning up, though maybe I can blame that on the steam... but there's no fucking way I'm going out there now, no fucking way.

I can hear his voice and he doesn't seem to be going anywhere, like ever. Fucking bastard. What the hell does he even want? Does he think I don't know what he's doing?

I'm tempted to stick my head out the door and tell him to fuck off, but I just sit down on top of the toilet seat instead and tap my foot impatiently wondering what the fuck he wants now. At least being angry at him has taken my mind off Cody I guess… or not. Ah fuck.

**I move aside as he walks in, shutting the door behind him. I glance at the bathroom and stand there looking at him, a horrified look on my face. **

**"Randy's in the shower?" I blurt out, scowling at the huge smirk he's wearing. I hear the shower turn off and my heart races, praying Randy would hurry the fuck up. I hate talking to John alone most of the time ANYWAY. I don't need him messing with me about this too. **

**"I can wait," he says, smirking as he sits down on the bed, "How's Beth?" **

**I feel my anger starting to bubble as I keep my mouth shut tightly before walking over to the bathroom door, banging on it. **

**"Johns here." I snap. **

There's no way I'm going out there. Nuh uh. Cody can fucking deal with him. It's all his fault anyway. Look how that fucker's made me feel! In less than an hour I've gone from totally normal to a nervous fucking wreck! My life could be over!

My mind wanders back to what Beth had apparently said, that she'd seen it, in the ring. Maybe I'd have to have a look myself, just to prove what a paranoid fucking bitch she is. I know Cody's probably furious with me right now, leaving him out there with John, he can't handle him at the best of times as it is… and I can imagine John's fucking face, smirking at him, making him feel like an idiot. Man where does that fucker get off? He's always trying to do that to Cody, just cos he knows he can, and that Cody always reacts. Finally I've had enough, the thought of John's silent torment of Cody out there pissing me the fuck off.

"John fuck off!" I snarl as I storm out the room, completely naked as the day I was born, stomping over to my case, which just happens to be right next to Cody who's standing by the bed, but I practically barge him out the way and start flinging stuff everywhere to get to my shorts, refusing to show the red on my cheeks was anything other than anger.

**I can't stand the smirk, those fucking dimples, that look of fucking joy spread across his face. I want to smack it off. "John, now isn't the time to ask me about Beth," I grumble, grabbing my bottle and taking a really large drink. I cough a bit and shake my head before taking another long gulp. Sitting down on the bed I steal a look at the bathroom door. "Randy!" I call out, almost angrily. **

**"Hey man, chill," John was still grinning, "I just want the truth, that's all... you know what she's saying right?" **

**"I don't give a shit what she's saying," **

**I growl, feeling like I'm going to hit him over the head with the bottle. I take in sharp breaths and drink a little more, wishing Randy would hurry the fuck up. That smirk is boring into me now and I feel like stabbing him. I'm about to get up and bang on the door before it swings open and Randy storms out. **

**Naked. **

**My jaw drops and I stare at him as John bursts out laughing, smirking at him and then at me. I can't help but stare as he throws stuff everywhere, looking livid.**

They're both staring at me like I've come out dressed in feathers for fucks sake! Well what do they expect? I've just had a shower in my own fucking room, I didn't expect a fucking audience!

Cody's face is a picture, and I would've laughed if it had've been any other time, for any other reason, but I ignore him, which is more than I can say for John who fucking decides to laugh at me. Brave man John, bold move.

I stand up and swing around in one smooth move, grabbing Cody's near empty bottle from his hands and swing it at John's head. Hard. He ducks. Unfortunately.

It misses. But only just. So I swing again, and this time he's backed up against the door hehheh, looking slightly less cocky. That fucker.

"What do you fucking want Cena?"

**I try my best to look away, not stare at the golden god beside me but I can't help it. My mouth is hanging open and my throat feels as though it's starting to close in, heat rising in my face... and elsewhere. My eyes widen as I shift, thankful for loose sweatpants. **

**What the fuck? **

**I can feel the panic starting to show on my face as I sit there, John's eyes scanning my face, that FUCKING smirk still there. **

**I gasp quietly as Randy snaps the bottle from my hand and swings for him. I'm frozen to the spot at his sudden anger, trembling as slightly as John, darts out of the room leaving the door swinging open after him.**

"HA! Plenty more where that came from you fucker!" I shout after him, fuck knows why, and I turned around in triumph almost, swigging straight from the bottle until it was gone.

I needed that.

I was just so angry, for no real reason I suddenly realise. I'm just so embarrassed! And now everything's gonna be a million times worse, I just know it. Cody's just sitting there staring at me, looking slightly unsure, and I suddenly realise I've just drunk all his booze.

**I have no idea what else to say so I just stare at him, too afraid to move. I don't know what's happening with me right now but when I watch him drinking the vodka my eyes stay on his lips.. his throat. **

**I swallow hard and hold my breath, panic now evident on my face as he looks at me. It's just my head messing with me. It HAS to be, because of all that shit Beth was saying. And the fucking internet. Fuck.**

"Sorry..."

I hold out the empty bottle, shrugging, really wanting more now. Cody's looking at me really weird, and he looks a little... scared? I dunno.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, still standing by the door. Shrugging again when he makes no move to take the bottle I walk back over to my case, and squat down to find a tshirt, right by his feet, and I notice him flinch away a bit as I crouch, like he thinks I'm gonna, what? Gonna molest him? I dunno. I'm sick of this shit! I didn't even start it! And now I'm a molester! What the fucking fuck!

I chuck on my shirt, still down on my knees and look up at him as I pull it over my head, meeting his eye. He instantly looks away and I'm not joking, bright red doesn't even cover it. I feel a bit the same myself...

**He gets down beside me and I feel myself recoiling away from him as he crouches down, fucking mortified with myself. I just want this night to be over so I can get a room of my own. I manage to wriggle slightly so I move up to the end of the bed, shaking my head. I can't even look at him. I don't want this awkward tension. I don't like it at all. **

**I take in a few slow, deep breaths, trying to not look at him as pulls his shirt on, my heart racing a little as the fabric slides over skin. I take in a small breath, sighing, "Fuck I need a drink."**

"Fuck I need a drink!" I laugh, we said it at the same time, and that was the ice breaker we needed, well, I needed anyway.

"C'mon Codes, I'm sorry I'm making this whole thing, like a deal out of nothing, I'll try not to let John wind me up, I was just, I dunno, shocked I guess. You know? It was so out of leftfield to me Codes..."

I trailed off, wondering if he was even listening, he had this real far off look on his face, "So c'mon man, let's go get a drink, hold our heads high, as you said, we've done nothing wrong."

**I can't help but smile when we say it at the same time and I feel myself relaxing a bit at his words, until he wants me to go with him. I can't move. Not with…**

**"Um... you go ahead," I say, panicking, my face going red, "I'll follow you."**

"Um, okay." I look at him sitting there all awkward, "Dude, sorry about the naked thing, I know that just made it a million times worse with John, it's just, uh..." I reached out and pulled my towel from under him at the top of the bed, "My towel was out here... I know how bad that looked..."

I cringed inwardly, wondering what kind of field day John was having already at our expense. Some friend he was, that fucker.

**I can barely hear what he's saying. All I can hear is the sound of ringing in my ears from the punch he's going to give me if I stand up. Or move at all. When he reaches out and grabs the towel from under me I gasp, freezing completely as his hand came too close for comfort. Did he see? **

**"Uh it's okay," I say brokenly, "Whatever.. it's cool... look, I need to get changed and... shower. So I'll meet you down there yeah?" **

"Shower? You just had one!"

The confusion must've been written all over my face, and I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that, he was obviously trying to get rid of me for some reason, and there was me totally putting my foot in it, again.

"Okay though, if you're not clean enough for Dashing Cody Rhodes standards then who am I to argue? What would I know huh?"

I tried to smile, I'm sure it looked more like wind, and I grabbed my wallet and slipped out the door, glad to escape the tension in the air.

But as soon as I turned towards the elevator, I heard voices coming from the room next door, who was that in there with Beth?

**As soon as he left I relaxed back, exhaling as I rubbed my face in my hands. Looking down at my crotch I scowled. "What's wrong with you?" I hissed before sitting up, head in my hands and just sat there for a while, until I slowly, too fucking slowly, started to relax. **

**I went to open the door when I heard some voices coming from my ro... **_**Beth's**_** room. I frowned and shook my head, knowing it was just her bitching about me to someone or telling them that me and Randy were fucking each other senseless.**


	2. Chapter 2

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 2

Words: 5586

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: M

Warnings: Language and m/m slash

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**CHAPTER 2**

As soon as I got down to the bar, I could already feel it, all eyes upon me, an instant lull as the noise level dropped then an excited buzz started up around the whole fucking room. Everyone was staring at me, and although you'd think that'd be something I'd be used to, I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I ordered a beer and a whiskey to start when I felt a familiar presence sidle up beside me.

"Dude _fuck off_! How many times do I have to say it? I'm not in the mood!"

"Randy seriously man, everyone's talking about it!"

"You think I don't know!"

"So dude, when did all this shit start?"

"John for fucks sake I can't believe YOU of all people believe it! Even for a second! _Really_? When have you ever EVER known me to even _look_ at a guy that way? Let alone Cody? Come ON! I mean What. The. Fuck?"

"Well, yeah I mean, I'd never have thought it in a million years, but it IS Cody we're talking about."

I stared at him like he was insane.

"Yeah? SO?"

"Well, yeah, so _of course_ everyone believes it!" He said it so matter of factly, as in DUH RANDY and I stared at him like he had two heads, my hand frozen half way to my mouth in shock,

"What?"

He looked at me like _I_ was the insane one now, "What?"

"What do you mean _of course_ everyone believes it?"

"'Cos it's Cody." He shrugged simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "If it was anyone else, they'd laugh in Beth's face but..."

"WHAT?" I was standing now, grabbing my whiskey from the bar and dragging him out of the way of prying eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about? Tell me what you _think_ you know! NOW!"

**I opened the door and scowled before remembering my wallet. Going back inside I froze, hearing a very low, very familiar moan. I couldn't help the sick feeling rise in my stomach as the moan got a little louder and I sank on my bed. **

**Was I that easily replaced? **

**I clenched my teeth and before I realised it, I'd been sitting there for over half an hour, listening to her and whoever it was in the room with her going at it. It made my stomach sick. **

**I stood up and left the room, slamming the door as hard as I could before starting to walk down the hall, stopping and turning back around, giving her door an almighty punch before storming off down the corridor and into the elevator. I was seething. **

**My face was red as it reached the ground floor and I stormed outside, going to the nearest store and buying a packet of cigarettes. I lit one up and smoked it angrily, trying my damndest to calm the fuck down. I had three cigarettes before going back into the hotel and making my way to bar, blinking when I saw Randy standing there talking to John, looking horrified. **

**Bracing myself, I walked in, not sure whether to go to Randy or sit with someone else.**

"Are you serious? John I... really?"

"Yeah man, I thought you knew."

I really didn't know what to think right now, was he still winding me up? I had no idea. No fucking idea.

"What else?"

"What _else_?"

"Yeah, tell me what else, and what do people say? Does everyone think so? 'Cos Cody said he'd noticed too..."

"Oh yeah everyone knows, they all think it was just a matter of time really,"

"What?"

I'm so fucking embarrassed right now.

"Well yeah, everyone knows not to mess with him,"

I cringe, totally floored that for ages, fucking AGES, people have been thinking, that I, Randy Orton, have been fucking Cody fucking Rhodes. WHAT THE FUCK!

"John, does Cody know they all think that?"

"I dunno, let's ask him,"

I spin around, seeing him stop dead in his tracks as he enters the bar.

**I see John looking over at me and I feel myself inwardly growl as he waves me over. I walk over, feeling like I'm walking to my death as everyone stares at me. And I'm not even imagining it. They're actually staring. **

**My cheeks are pink as I make my way over to John and Randy, leaning up my back against the wall. I swallow hard and take a deep breath. **

**"Wow. Intense." **

**I glance around and see people talking quietly amongst themselves, casting small glances our way before I pull up a stool and sit down, chewing my lip, "So."**

I look at Cody and bite my lip, mirroring him unconsciously, instantly handing him two shots of whiskey,

"Dude I'm so sorry..."

"Yeah Codester, Randy now knows just how much he likes to paw you in and out the ring, turns out the fucker didn't have a clue! Can you believe it! Normally I wouldn't believe a word the fucker says, but I reckon it's true, he has no idea about the way he looks at you when you're doing promos, the way he has a special voice just for you, like almost on a frequency only dogs can hear kinda thing, cos he never uses it on anyone else, and the way he constantly looks at you and man, just everything, yep, I'm positive the dude had no idea at all."

"Fuck you John!" I hissed savagely.

My mouth had been getting steadily wider as I heard his words and I very nearly smacked him again with this, full, bottle of beer just placed in front of me on the bar, but I grabbed it and stood, snatching the whiskey from the barman's hand as he poured the chasers and taking that bottle with me too, "Charge it to the room," I hiss, storming outta there without even looking back.

**I knock back the shots in quick succession, barely pausing for air, and down John's fresh beer too for good measure, taking a large gulp of air before letting out a deep breath, but it doesn't help so I get up and order another beer. When I sit back down, Randy apologises and I'm about to tell him he hasn't done anything wrong, that he has nothing to be sorry for but I stop dead in my tracks when John starts speaking. My eyes grow wider and wider and my mouth starts opening, letting every single one of his words sink into my brain and my stomach gives a jolt, holding my breath. **

**"He doesn't paw me..." **

**Randy looks as though someone just slapped him across the face as he grabbed his bottle and stormed out, everyone staring at him. I stand up and look at John, scowling. **

**"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I hiss before following him, grabbing John's fresh bottle again just 'cos I feel like it and shoving my own beer into my jacket. **

**"Randy!" I almost shout after him, growling, "Fucking wait!"**

"I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna fucking kill him!" and I almost turn around to do just that, except that Cody is shouting after me and I have a very bad feeling that's he's now gonna come after me, just to see if I'm okay probably in his eyes, but only to cement it even more in everyone else's.

"FUCK OFF CODY!"

I really didn't mean that... I don't even look back, just kept going, I didn't even know where, not stopping until I'd reached the darkness round the side of the building and I pulled out my smokes, leaning heavily against the wall and taking almost frantic puffs. Fuck.

FUCK.

I felt like I was about to hyperventilate and my hands were shaking, John was such a prick. I'm not fucking gay damnit!

**I freeze when he screams at me. I actually stop dead. I feel this pain in my chest as I watch him go out the building and I bite my lip hard walking outside. I have no idea where he's gone. I start walking down the street and glance around the corner, seeing him standing there. **

**He looks like he's in a blind panic. I don't know whether or not I should go over to him or leave him be. I don't want to leave him shaking like that. **

**I take in a deep breath, bracing myself in case he starts screaming at me. Stopping in front of him I light up a cigarette of my own, shifting slightly on my feet. **

**"You didn't have to run."**

I fucking knew he'd come.

"You didn't have to follow me!"

I didn't even mean to say that. Just like I didn't mean to tell him to fuck off, in front of everyone.

**"I did have to follow you!" **

**I can't stop frowning, that awful feeling in my stomach, "Look at you! You look like a fucking madman... you need to calm the fuck down Randy..." **

**I look at him, his face red and he was shaking a little. I hated seeing him like this. Because of me. All because of some fucking stupid bitch who didn't have her facts straight. Randy is my best friend. There's nothing there that isn't platonic.**

"Codes..." I sighed, the nicotine doing nowhere near enough to calm my nerves, I can't even look at him. Why didn't he ever say anything? Why was he just making excuses for me? I'm a horrible friend and I really didn't mean to make him look stupid in front of everyone, and I certainly didn't intend to make him look like my fucking pet, which was the way John had so kindly put it. But I think that was just John, and possibly Beth, that thought like that. "It's ok, I get it if you hate me."

**I take in a small breath when he says that and I stare at him blankly. **

**"Are you fucking serious?" I ask, letting out a hysterical laugh. "Why the fuck would I hate you? Because of some fucking rumours that are flying around? I don't give a fuck what sort of rumours there are Randy... I couldn't ever hate you."**

I breathed a sigh of relief, I hadn't even realised I'd been holding my breath to be honest, but it calmed me no end to hear him say that. It was true, what I'd realised before, he really did have that effect on me, that ability to calm me down when no one else did. It's 'cos he didn't take any shit from me, 'cos he stood up to me, 'cos he wasn't afraid to speak his mind, be completely himself, there was no bullshit there and I really appreciated that. Yet I only just realised it. I took him for granted.

Or did my psyche know the score and that's where all these little inadvertent touches I wasn't even aware of came from? I had some weird need to keep him near me? I wondered why he never said anything, if he knew I was doing it.

"Thanks..." I didn't know what else to say.

**I watched him calm down and I moved to lean against the wall, taking a drag from my smoke. I could feel the tension slowly easing out of him and I couldn't help but smile a little. "You're much easier to be around when you're calm," I mutter, shaking my head and smiling a little. **

**I arched an eyebrow and looked at him, my stomach flipping over when he said thanks. "For what?" I ask, frowning**

"For not hating me I guess, I dunno." I shrugged. I didn't really know why I said it, kinda just had to say something I guess. Fill what could otherwise be an awkward silence? Maybe. Things were never so tense between us ever, and I hated it. I just wanted to escape.

Not from him though. I wanted him by my side to keep me fucking sane through this fucked up mess. Us against the world it was now!

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

**I smile as he says that and I shake my head, stubbing my cigarette out. I sigh when he asks me and I feel myself biting my lip hard. **

**"I dunno... I guess I never thought much about it..." Although a million things are now flowing into my head, one possibility sticking out in my brain… Because I didn't want him to stop? **

**I shake my head again, trying to get that thought out of my brain before I straightened up. **

**"Do you want to come back up and drink ourselves into oblivion with the awful sound of Beth fucking in the next room?" I ask bitterly.**

"What the fuck?" I laughed, incredulous, "That bitch has someone else in there with her already? Oh yeah, sounds like a great way to pass the time!"

I snort derisively as I push off from the wall, my arm automatically going to take its place round his shoulders as he takes his place by my side.

It happened before I even realised what I was doing, and then it hit me, just how easy it was to do without even knowing, and how he didn't even flinch, and how natural it felt. And my stomach churned, and I stopped, and I know my brow furrowed instantly all by itself when I realised what I was doing.

And I realised that he'd never told me to stop. As in, he'd _never told me to stop_!

Did it feel that normal to him too that it didn't even matter? I almost let my arm drop as I stopped dead in my tracks, but then I thought no, we're not doing anything wrong, and I left it there. He didn't do anything to stop me either, as we both walked stiffly to the entrance. I let him go to tackle the revolving doors, and waited on the other side, my arm casually (I hoped) resuming its place as we headed to the lift.

**A smile comes to my face as his arm wraps around my shoulder and I can't help but laugh a bit. **

**"Yep," I say, "She can't even wait a god damn hour before fucking someone else." **

**I blinked when he stops dead and I look at him, catching the frown on his face. My stomach knots up, wondering what was wrong before he seems to relax again. We walk towards the door and he goes in first, I follow and can't help the tiny sigh of comfort as his arm goes to my shoulder again. I just hope he didn't hear me. **

**We seem to wait an eternity at the elevator as we wait for it to open, and he just seems to be getting more and more nervous, more agitated. **

**"Are you ok?" I ask, putting my hand on his lower back gently.**

Now that was just a bit too much, and I didn't even mean to but I totally flinched, almost jumping away from him as I felt his hand, I know he didn't mean anything by it, it was just a friendly gesture, literally a natural movement one does when a friend asks his other friend if they're ok. Yes. A gesture that shouldn't make my fucking heart jump into my mouth in fear that someone might see, make me feel like we've got something to hide. 'Cos we don't! We fucking don't! So why am I acting so paranoid and fucking guilty?

Because I know we're already guilty as charged in everyone else's eyes anyway, no matter what we do. I'm fucked.

"I'm fine!"

I know my voice came out a whole octave higher than it usually does, and I coughed, trying again, moving inside the lift and pressing the button. "I'm fine, yeah," I say, "Fine,"

**I jumped when he did, my face falling slightly. **

**"Sorry," I mumble, looking at the floor, biting my lip and I sigh heavily, hating all of this. What was so fucking wrong with being friends? We have **_**always**_** been like this. **

**I can't help the feeling of sorrow flooding through me as he says he's fine, knowing damn well that he's not. **

**"Yeah... sure..." I say following him inside, leaning against the wall, away from him, afraid that he's going to start freaking out on me again.**

I keep looking at him, wondering what he's thinking, and he seems to be pretty interested in the floor, and we stood there so long we didn't even realise we hadn't pressed the button for the floor. We both seemed to realise at the same time, and our fingers brushed together just as we reached for it.

I know I froze, then laughed, slightly maniacal as I babbled something incoherent by way of apology, feeling like a total idiot that our once solid friendship was reduced to this mess. I figured we may as well fuck, everyone thinks we are anyway, and it's not like things can get any more awkward and messed up than they already are!

But I say nothing like that of course, just instantly jump back and press myself up against the wall opposite to his as if he has rabies.

"Sorry!"

There's that fucking squeak again, what the fuck is wrong with me?

**I pressed the button and swallowed hard when our fingers brushed. I just wished he wouldn't be so jumpy. **

**"... you need to relax a bit..." **

**I said it quietly and almost sadly as I took in a deep breath, reaching into my jacket and grabbing my bottle, taking a long drink from it. I watch him practically run from me, fear across his face. **

**"Randy..." I say sighing, "I don't want you to... I don't want to lose you over this..." **

**I spoke in such a low voice, I'm not sure he heard me, "I fucking hate that you don't want to be, to be **_**yourself**_**... the way you've always been... You can still be '**_**you**_**' with me, the way you were before..." **

**The elevator door opened and I walked out before him, my cheeks flushed as I went to his room, glancing at the small dent in Beth's door, left by my knuckles. **

I watched him walk away from me down the hall, he was right, he was so right, I didn't wanna lose him over this either, and I didn't know why suddenly I was no longer 'me'.

I was acting like a teenage girl for fuck sake and acting guilty as fucking charged.

I took a massive gulp of my own bottle, and just as the doors were about to close on me again, I darted out after him, practically running to catch up to him as he waited for me outside the door. My hand went to the back of his neck, like it always did I realised with a jolt,

"Sorry..."

**I waited at the door, not having a keycard for his room, looking at him as he came up to me and I felt a shiver run down my spine as his hand went to my neck. **

**"It's ok," I say quietly, "I just... fuck you're my best friend Randy..." **

**I blink and my eyes widen as I see Punk coming from Beth's room, his eyes snapping wide when he saw me standing here with Randy. **

I feel him relax under my hand, and that in turn relaxes me, and I slot my card in the door just as he fully tenses beneath my fingers. I feel my brow furrow in question and I look to where his eyes are fixed, wide with disbelief, at fucking Phil, coming out of Beth's room.

"You didn't waste any time." I growl at him before I even realise I'm speaking, my heart going out to Cody as his face seems to crumple in shock.

"Neither did you!" Punk smirks, that fucking bastard, and before I even know what I'm doing, something in me snaps and I've pulled Cody close to my chest,

"You better believe it." I snarled back, capturing Cody's lips with my own, his body completely melting into me as he seems to freeze then go limp in my arms. May as well give them something to talk about. Right?

**I gasp when he pulls me close, heat flooding my face. I just feel myself moulding against him, my chest pressing against his gently. I hear myself whimper against his lips, realising what he was doing. I wonder what he'd do if I kissed him back? My fingers trembled as they found his hips, slowly moving my lips against his, jolts of something shooting through me, what, I don't know… **

**Fear? Excitement? Want? I feel my eyes flutter closed and pull back, panting softly, my fingers still hooked in the band of his jeans, brushing against the soft skin of his hips before I pull back fully, swallowing hard. I didn't dare look at him. I cast a nasty look at Punk before walking into Randy's room, almost trembling.**

My heart was actually racing, what the fuck are you doing you fucking IDIOT my brain was screaming at me, but once I started I couldn't stop, especially with the way Cody responded, and that made my head spin, was he... was he just an amazing actor or was he actually kissing me back?

I could've sworn I felt his hands take hold of my hips, but I wasn't sure… all I could feel was like, his lips, and like, a whole load of nothing… like I was in the midst of an electric shock and incapable of moving kinda nothing… frozen… I'm not even making sense. But Cody was literally chest to chest and when he pulled away, there was something in his eyes I didn't quite catch as he turned away from Phil and disappeared into the room, Phil, who I completely ignored as I watched Cody go, hearing his words as I followed him, closing the door behind me,

"You don't have to look quite so pleased with yourself Orton, we all know you got what you always wanted anyway,"

**I get into Randy's room, my lips tingling and my fingers shaking as I hear him close the door. Biting my lip I take out the bottle of whiskey, opening it and taking a large gulp, coughing. I hear Punk say something but I ignore it, my mind reeling. **

**Randy kissed me. **

**And I kissed him back. I swallowed hard, trying not to look at him as I sit down on the bed, the bottle grasped firmly in my hand.**

**I swear I can still feel my fingers brushing against his hips.**

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. FUCK! I leant my head back against the cool wood as I couldn't quite bring myself to leave the safety of the doorway, my eyes closing rather than running the risk of meeting Cody's, and I could feel my cheeks burning up.

I know I'm drunk but what the fuck?

What the fuck had I just done? Had I just gone and ruined everything? I had, hadn't I?

My head fell forward and my chin hit my chest as I grimaced, taking out my bottle and taking a liberal swig, may as well drown my sorrows seeing as I've got nothing else left to lose. I'm fairly certain I've lost the respect of the rest of the roster already and I'm definitely sure that I'll have lost Cody too after that stunt, which Punk is probably already spreading like wildfire.

**I took another large gulp and let out a breath, laughing out loud, shaking my head and looking at him. "Fuck," is all I can say. **

**Even though my head should be in the next room with Beth and her fucking Punk... it wasn't. It was outside the door a moment ago when he kissed me. I don't even know why I kissed him back… **

**I lay back on the bed, turning my head and staring at him. He takes a swig from his bottle and he's standing there with eyes closed. **

**"Randy what the fuck?" I ask, laughing again. I don't even know why I'm laughing. Nerves?**

Why the fuck is he laughing? Is this some kinda joke to him? Fucks sake! I just KISSED him and he acts like nothing happened and LAUGHS? Well, I guess I must've imagined it then, that he kissed me back, or he really is a good actor, cos I could've sworn... I could swear I can still feel his fingertips creeping up under the hem of my shirt as I stand here now, I swear, on my skin...

I shake my head and grimace at his question, swallowing down another good portion of the bottle. At this rate I'm gonna be done before...

I shake my head again as he laughs, and I don't even remember telling my legs to move but suddenly find myself in the bathroom, slamming the door behind myself there too.

**I watch him go into the bathroom and I stand up, my stomach folding over on itself. Pouring out a large glass I down half of it before topping up. **

**What the fuck. **

**Why is he angry? Is he angry? Closing my eyes tightly I chew my lip, pondering why I… I know I shouldn't have kissed him back. That's got to be what's wrong. There he was, giving me somewhere to stay and just being there... and I'm making it worse. **

**I growl and down the rest of my glass, sitting back down staring at the bathroom door, waiting, for a long time. **

**"Randy?" I call, hesitantly.**

Ah fuck, now he's calling me. Is it too much to ask to get some peace in your own room after you've just done something so monumentally stupid that you'd rather hang out on your own in the bathroom all night than in your actual room?

With the door locked...

Cody's probably wondering what the fuck I'm doing storming in here like that, I guess it looks pretty fucked up from his side...

**I sigh when he doesn't answer me, getting up to go over to the door, leaning my forehead against it. **

**"Dude... I'm sorry okay?" I chew my lip as I wait for a reply. Nothing. Fuck. What the fuck else can I say? There isn't much else **_**to**_** say. **

**"I didn't mean to... like freak you out or anything..." I growl at my own stupidity and go back to the bed, flopping on my back.**

My eyes snap open in surprise when I hear him say that, why the fuck is HE sorry? It's me who's the one who... fuuuck. I should be the one apologising.

I look down at my bottle as the last of it sloshes down my throat, and it's not nearly enough. I _could_ blame it on the booze I guess... well I'll have to, naturally, and I'll say it was like, I dunno, something I knew Phil would go running to Beth with, but why the fuck would I want that for fuck sake? It'd only make her think she was right all along, and she fucking wasn't!

I dunno I guess maybe I thought I was doing him a favour at the time...? Moment of madness? Well yes, obviously… But fuck, I dunno, it kinda didn't feel all that mad, not really.

**He doesn't come out and I bite my lip, getting up, grabbing the keycard and leaving the room. I go down to the bar, my neck and cheeks flushing madly as I see Phil talking to a group of the guys. Ordering a full bottle of whiskey, I can barely meet the barman's eye before turning on my heel, feeling all eyes boring into my back as I go back up to the room. **

**I hope Randy is out now... I need to explain it to him. I don't even know why I kissed him back. **

**Cursing myself before walking into the room, I open the door, looking at the floor.**

I heard the door slam and I looked up startled, where's he going? I listen carefully at the bathroom door but there's nothing but silence from the other side, he's definitely gone... fuck, I've driven him away now. Fuck.

FUCK.

Now I've really gone and done it haven't I? I guess I'd sorta drunkenly zoned out there more than I realised, cos I look at my watch and I've been in here half an hour...

Opening the door slowly, just in case it's some kind of trick and he's still like, right there or something, I peek back into the room, but he's definitely gone.

Sighing heavily I walk out, throwing myself down on the bed and covering my eyes with the back of my arm. Where did he go? He said he had nowhere else to sleep... then I notice his stuff's still here, oh, and right as that thought hits me, he walks back into the room.

"I'm drunk!" I shouted, struggling to keep up with myself as my body jumped up without my permission.

**I see Randy on the bed as I close the door and I stand there for a second. **

**"I'm sorry," I blurt out, "I didn't mean to kiss you back." Panic was laced through my voice as I stood there, looking at him with wide eyes. **

**Fuck I sound like an idiot. **

**I feel like I've got caught doing something really really wrong. But I did do something wrong. I kissed him back and I shouldn't have. I take in a deep breath not knowing where to look. **

"Didn't mean to kiss me back?" I repeat feebly, and I balk at myself as I realise something akin to disappointment seems to wash over me when I hear him say that.

Oh.

Well, kudos, I guess I did underestimate his acting abilities after all...

I look up at him as he stands there, sheer mortification written across both our faces I'm sure, and suddenly I realise there's only one bed.

**"I just... I didn't mean to... it was an accident... shit, um, it wasn't an accident it was just... fuck." **

**I stand there for a few seconds, almost frozen to the spot looking at the bed. The only one in the room. I swallow a little and reach into my jacket, the new bottle of whiskey in my hand. **

**"Thought we could use this tonight," I say, forcing a small smile.**

I barely even hear what he says as my mind is going fucking ballistic at this new piece of information. Well that's it then, only one bed, there's nothing else for it, ONLY ONE FUCKING BED, I'm gonna have to go, how did I not notice this before? I'll just, like pretend to go out somewhere and just not come back... he can have the bed obviously, I mean I can't kick him out of his second room in the same night, that would just be rude, what would be the point of helping him in the first place, you know? And maybe I can just go work out, like all night, there's benches in the gym, right? And come back in the morning when... hang on, what? I suddenly realise what he said,

"It wasn't an accident?" I looked up at him properly, my eyes actually focussing for the first time in awhile, "It was just what?"

**I blink at him, grabbing the bottle and taking too big a gulp, half choking, half coughing as I lean back against the door. I wipe my mouth, my cheeks turning red. "Uh... I don't know... I just..." **

**Sighing I shake my head, my eyes blurring slightly. I swallow hard and stand up straight, **

**"I don't know," I say quietly, taking another gulp, knowing that this was probably the worst thing I could do. Get really drunk. **

**"I kinda wanted to... I think..." **

**I say it so quietly I don't know if he heard me. I don't think I even heard myself. I close my eyes briefly before rubbing my face in my hands.**

I sat up so fast my head almost span, but I was focussed very clearly on Cody as he stood there by the door and my brain barely had time to catch up with my limbs before I was over there like a shot, stopping chest to chest, towering over him suddenly, was he cowering? Did he think I was going to hit him?

I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, fisting my fingers in the material, pressing hard against him resting our foreheads together for the briefest second as I gave myself one last chance for my brain to catch up with my body and talk myself out of this, but it didn't and it was too late…

I practically picked him up, and all but threw him down on the bed, and this time, I literally didn't have a clue what I was doing as I climbed on top of him,

"I kinda wanted to too," I breathed into his mouth as our lips smashed together.


	3. Chapter 3

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 3

Words: 5253

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

Disclaimer: we own nothing but our imaginations...

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**Warnings: alot of fucking and saying fuck. Language and hardcore male gay sex**

...

**CHAPTER 3**

**My eyes flew open wide as he darted towards me and I whimpered, cringing away as he grabbed my shirt, bracing myself for the punch that was coming. **

**But it didn't come. **

**I feel his breath on my skin as he pushed me roughly back onto the bed and I raise my arms up to cover my face. Before I got there my eyes widened as his lips crash against mine, climbing on top of me. My heart is racing as I lay there frozen in fear. I hear him tell me he kinda wanted to too and I gasp for breath, my eyes closing as his teeth scrape against mine, my lips hurting. I feel the fear slowly, very slowly leave as my arms go around his shoulders, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist. I kiss him back furiously, hot gasps coming from my mouth as one of my hands goes to the back of his neck, trying desperately to keep him there. **

**Closing my eyes shut tightly, my tongue slides into his mouth, the taste of whiskey strong. I didn't care. I didn't care about anything much right now. I didn't care that tomorrow I was going to regret it. I didn't care that my best friend was on top of me, his perfect hands moving to pin my hands above my head. I pull back for a second, breathing heavily. My lips slightly swollen and pink, my eyes half lidded as I look up at him. I feel a wave of lust surge through me and I'm panting, not moving my legs from his waist. If anything, I tighten my grip, urging him forward again.**

"Don't stop..."

I know I was practically begging as I all but whimpered the words, feeling my resolve dwindle at just the slightest hesitance from him…

"Please?"

I tried again, kissing him furiously back, my fingers releasing his hands and taking his face between my palms as I looked down at him, his eyes looking at me in a way I'd never seen from him before, and suddenly I'm lost, I'm so out of my depth and I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm doing and I barely even know who I am anymore cos what I'm feeling right now, this is not me.

And I want that so bad. Not to be me.

Suddenly I know what I have to do. My brain has finally made it to the party and it makes the decision I'd never have expected to hear from myself, and I lean back in.

**I hear him ask me not to stop and my head spins. I let out a shaky breath, whimpering as he kisses me again. He lets my hands go and I close my eyes as his palm cups my cheeks. I look into his eyes, searching for something, I don't even know what. All I know is that his eyes are locked with mine, his weight feeling perfect over me, the heat from his body sending shivers though me. **

**He's thinking. **

**I know he's questioning himself. I hold my breath, praying that he kisses me again… **

**My chest tightens and I reach up, pulling him forward as he leans in, catching his lips with mine again, slower this time. Snaking my hands around his shoulders, I slide my tongue against his slowly, arching up against him as much as I can without freaking him out. Or me for that matter. My heart is racing as I feel his chest pressed against mine, sliding one hand down his back, gripping his hip tightly.**

Oh my god he really is kissing me back, he really is, I can feel his body against me, his hands pulling me down, my hips suddenly flush with his, I can almost feel his touch against my skin again even though he's not, the ghost of fingers there from before… and I actually shiver, because I realise at that moment, I want this, I really do want this.

I want to touch him, I want to feel him, his skin feels like fire and ice to my fingertips all at the same time as I run my finger over his brow, watching its path trailing along his jaw line, the prominent collarbone, and I want more.

I need to see him, what he looks like, I WANT to see him, and I almost surprise myself with the ferocity with which I tear his t-shirt clean down the middle to get to him, my hands instantly covering the broad expanse of his chest, heaving below my touch as I sit back, watching my fingers trail over every bump, every indent of perfect muscle…

It's so different to what I'm used to, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore as I rake my hands back up to his shoulders, grasping hard, kneading, rolling him over and pulling him down on top of me with desperate force, claiming his mouth greedily once more.

**I can't help the whimpers coming from my throat as I kiss him, the way my body is starting to move against him, holding him as close to me as I dare, trying desperately not to grind against him, afraid he's going to push away and beat the hell out of me. I lean my head back as I feel dizzy from the nerves buzzing around in my body, and taking a few deep breaths, suddenly I'm running both my hands across his back, I want to feel that perfect skin under the fabric. **

**His fingers trace along every curve of my face and I feel myself lean into his touch, my head tilting completely as he drags a finger down my neck to my collarbone. I let out a loud gasp as he rips my teeshirt easily down the front and I lay there, looking at him with wide eyes, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth, desperately trying to hold back the low groan dying to escape my mouth as his hands roam my chest, feeling his hands clutch and grab at my skin, and it feels so good. **

**Fuck. **

**My resolve is quickly disappearing when he rolls us over and I let out that groan, low and heavy as he kisses me again, leaning forward, pressing my chest flush against his. I can feel him hard, digging into my inner thigh and I breathe deeper, moving very slightly against him as I kiss him back, shoving my tongue into his mouth.**

Electricity seems to pulse through my body as he moves on top of me, the friction of my cock trapped beneath the fabric of my shorts adding to my already heightened senses, and I know he can feel me, I know he knows, and he knows it's for him, this is all about him, and I begin to wonder if it always has been?

But I don't have the capacity to string one thought to the next, it's all happening so fast, he rakes his nails down my chest and I arch into the touch, my body exploding with need, no one has ever touched me like this before, there's nothing gentle in him at all, he's not some needy fucking fragile girl. He's brutal and hard and made of solid muscle and can match me strength for strength as we wrestle for dominance, tongues battling, lips devouring, hands groping and grasping, and I want this.

I fucking WANT this.

I think I need it. I think I have done for a long time.

**I keep my eyes closed as we kiss furiously, jolts of excitement shooting through me as I move against him. I feel myself getting more daring as I lean down further, pressing myself against him and I groan quietly, gripping the fabric of his shirt in my hands, before breaking away, staring at him for a few seconds, dragging my nails down his chest. I growl as I pull his tee-shirt from his torso roughly, pressing my bare chest against his, the heat sending shockwaves through me. **

**I groan louder, pressing against him more as I grab the back of his neck, pulling him up to kiss me furiously. Sitting back on his lap, not able to stop from rolling my hips against his, I almost cry out as I feel my cock rub against his, gripping his shoulders tightly and growling as I shove my tongue into his mouth.**

Suddenly we're furiously rutting against each other and it's like nothing I've ever felt before, the way he moves, the way he feels against me, the noises that come out of his mouth…

Oh my god.

I'm on fire everywhere he touches me and I can't control my hands, my breathing, my emotions…

Sounds are coming out my mouth I had no idea I was capable of, he's turning me into something I can't even understand let alone explain, and I don't even want to try, I just want to feel… _everything_… all of it, and I don't want this feeling to stop, to ever go away.

I know I'm doing things I'd never have expected from myself, and it's far too late to stop, to pretend I don't want it, so I guide his hand down lower, resting on top of my waistband...

**I hear him groan and gasp and it just makes me move faster and harder, my entire body flushing, burning almost with a passion that was just under the surface moments ago. I growl, kissing him hard, grinding furiously against him at the feel of his cock pressing against mine, doing things it really shouldn't... never has before. **

**I move my lips to his neck, biting and sucking as my hands explore his chest, my fingers dipping into every curve, pinching and grabbing at any piece of skin I can get. **

**Pulling back, looking at him with heavy eyes, he guides my hand to his jeans and my stomach lips over. I swallow hard, fumbling with the buttons, sitting back a little and holding my breath as the buttons come undone. I lick my lips slowly as I dip my fingers into the waistband, my heart racing as my fingers brush the tip of his cock, already sticky and wet with precum.**

There's like a split second where our eyes meet as he touches me for the first time and we both freeze, it's like we know, this is it, it's now or never, no turning back, this is our last chance to back out...

He bites his bottom lip between his teeth and fuck, I never realised how much I love it when he does that, how he looks at me like that, and something in me flips, I snap, and that's it.

In an instant we're both as naked as the day we were born, panting and grasping at each other, skin slick with sweat sliding together, everywhere, we're touching _everywhere._

**I don't know how it happened but in some sort of passion filled frenzy we're both naked, groping, kissing each other like I've never kissed before. Nothing has ever come close to this. And I'm pretty damn sure nothing ever will. **

**I can't help but mewl as I grind against him, taking his cock in my hand, fear and excitement speeding through me as I move my hand back and forth and I groan louder than expected. **

**The feel of him sliding in my hand makes my cock twitch as I run my fingers across his tip and I close my eyes, my lips parted slightly as I grunt, leaning forward and burying my face in his neck, biting and sucking hard, grinding against him. **

**His smooth skin against mine feels like fire as I work him faster, my breaths coming in pants and gasps, my own cock leaking and smearing against his thigh.**

I can feel a desperate heat insistent upon my thigh, and my hand is half way there, but then suddenly it's back on his thigh, then trailing over his abdomen, cupping the back of his neck, then grasping greedy handfuls of asscheek… anywhere but where it's trying to get to...

Finally, before I lose my nerve for a third time I do it, I grab his cock, hard, the heat instantly radiating through my palm surprising me, but not as much as it surprised him, almost bucking himself from the bed as he spasmed a little above me.

His weighty girth was ample in my hand, and nowhere near as alien and awkward as I envisaged this moment to be. Not that I'd envisaged it more than about three minutes ago, but I had, and I was admitting it…

I was mesmerised, intrigued, it felt so different to mine yet I had a funny feeling I knew exactly what to do...

I experimented for a few moments, lost in the sensations of it against my own skin, pulsing there like it had a life of its own, leaking into my palm, and suddenly I let go, grabbing Cody by both hips before I had a chance to change my mind, hauling him up on top of me, pulling him until he straddled my face, and with a generous portion of asscheek in one hand, I used the other to guide him closer to my eager, waiting mouth.

I admit I was practically salivating at the thought, wondering how he would taste, how he would feel, as I ran my tongue along his seeping head, tasting another man for the first time, before diving straight in.

**I feel myself bucking back against his hand as he grabs my ass and I growl, working him faster. Sitting back on his thighs, my head tilting back and growling in pleasure, I feel my body trembling as he grabbed hold of my shaft. I can hear the filthy pants and moans falling from my lips as I can't help but thrust into his hand roughly, gripping his hip tightly. **

**His hand feels different, it's coarse, not gentle like everyone else's, and a growl comes from my throat as my head tilts back at a particularly harsh thrust, my neck stretched as I moaned into the air. **

**"Randy..." I breathed, his name rolling from my lips as I squeezed him firmly, pleasure almost consuming me as he toyed with my cock, never actually stroking. **

**I know this shouldn't feel so fucking good, but it did. And fuck I didn't want this to end. I didn't want to stop and I already knew I wouldn't until we were done. I don't think I could even if I tried. **

**I licked my lips and my eyes flew open as he let me go, grabbing my hips. Letting go of him too, grabbing onto the headboard tightly, I looked down at him, my mouth open as his tongue slinked out, running across my tip before his lips enveloped my cock, sucking me in. I let out an animalistic cry as the wet, hot heat surrounded me and I forced my hips to be still, my eyes rolling back as he worked me, my head swimming**.

There was no mistaking the incredulous look on Cody's face as I swallowed him whole, he's obviously never seen my party trick with the two bananas, but I always wondered what it would be like with something that, that wanted it… and it took me a long time to realise that not all girls can do this, I'd had no idea I had a talent, and this was the first, and possibly last, chance I'd ever had to really see what I could do with a real life, living breathing... cock.

Oh my god. Cock. Am I really doing this? Fuck.

So I suppose you could say it was with a certain amount of gusto that I set forward to find out.

**Shit. Fuck... I growl and pant, my back arching as I gripped the headboard, my knuckles turning white. **

**"Fuck!" I cry out as his tongue slides around my shaft, trying not to whimper as my hips begin to thrust slightly. I bring one hand down and cup the back of his head, looking down at him, my eyes heavy and my breathing raspy. He looks at me with big eyes of his own and I swear I can see nothing but lust. It makes me groan, and tilting back, I gasp. **

**"Randy... fuck!" **

**My face is flushing as I feel my cock pressing to the back of his throat. Shit... I've never felt anything quite like this. I don't think anyone has ever been able to take everything in at once before... I watch his lips swallow me greedily and I almost spasm on top of him. **

**"Sto... oh god... stop..." **

**Pulling back slightly, I know I'm flushing madly as I try to catch my breath, "Fuck.. if you keep that up..." **

**I lick my lips quickly before shifting down, taking his cock in my hand again, working him fast in my palm, bringing my other hand up and down his chest, pinching his pert nipples before leaning down and kissing his thighs.**

Feeling his fingers hold my head in place like that nearly brings me undone, I'm not even sure why… then even more so when he instinctively thrusts forward a few times… fuck, I never knew this could be so hot and I was arching off the bed as if it was me getting the attention, which in a way it was, despite my cock bouncing alone against my stomach.

Then suddenly he's gone, what the fuck? Why did he pull away like that? Oh, ohhh… I'd got him that close huh? I couldn't stop the smirk as I realised, but maybe that's what I was going for, huh? I mean that's the point right?

But I no longer care why when he takes hold of me again and I nearly shoot all over his hand the instant he touches me… fucking hell, this is so intense, cos he knows, he just KNOWS what to do, how to touch, where to touch, and fuck, I'm not gonna last much longer either if he keeps that up.

**Seeing the smirk on his face, I flush, squeezing his base before pumping him fast. I kiss along his thighs and stomach, bringing my hand to my own cock, stroking myself fast. Fuck. I don't even know what I'm doing or even why. I just know that it feels right. It feels so fucking good and I'm pretty damn sure he feels the same. I'm biting on my lip without even realising as I pull back slightly, feeling that little spark start to set off inside me and I groan loudly, feeling him thrusting into my hand. **

**"Randy..." I whimper as I work him faster, leaning down and taking a deep breath and I close my eyes, bringing my lips to his balls, sucking gently at the skin, not daring to try to suck him off… yet. I practically lap at him, running my fingers across his swollen tip, smearing the precum around the sensitive skin, groaning as I feel myself get closer.**

Fuuuck the way he keeps saying my name like that oh my god, it's making me crazy, I don't think he even realises he's doing it…

Me on the other hand, I'm struck dumb, actually holding my breath watching him in his ministrations, staying as still as I possibly can and biting my lip hard to stave off as long as I can…

Fuck, his hot mouth against me, my balls fucking rock solid and practically in his fucking mouth, oh my fucking fuck… and that's about as much as I can take, not that I want him stop 'cos I don't, but I now fully understand why he pulled away a minute ago, and I reach down for him, all but dragging him back up to me, smashing our lips together and I taste myself…

And that's it, I force him back down below me flat on his back, and take him straight down the back of my throat once more, I can't get enough of that, I want to see his face as I make him come undone.

**He drags me up and I whimper desperately against his mouth as I shove my tongue inside, tasting myself on his tongue. I grind against him as much as I can almost growling as I get closer, crying out as he flips us over and before I know what's happening my cock is balls deep in his throat, pressing against his muscles, him swallowing me. I arch up, grabbing onto anything I can to keep myself from spasming, fucking his mouth hard, arching up off the bed, my head tilting back. **

**"Randy... shit... I'm so fucking close..." I moan loudly, knowing that I'm about to explode. "Randy..." I warn, my breathing heavy, swallowing hard.**

He grabs me and forces me down one second then is practically pushing me away the next, I know what he's trying to tell me, and there's no way I'm stopping now, my eyes are fixed on his thrashing torso, glistening with a sheen of sweat and heaving as he arches up off the mattress every time I push down, the head of his cock hitting the back of my throat solidly and I love it.

I love this, watching him like this, the feel of him, the smell of him, the fucking sight of him, knowing it's me who's making him look like that…

Fuck, I've never been this turned on before from administering pleasure I gotta admit, I guess I used to think I was more a taking kinda guy… but fuck me if this is how it feels to dish it out, I definitely don't want this to be the last time…

He's panting and I'm right there with him, rutting furiously against the end of the bed, my legs akimbo hanging off the end as I grind into it and hold my mouth down on Cody as far as I can go, I swallow, repeatedly, my nose fast against the flesh of his pubic bone and I feel him grow, hardening even more if that's possible, his whole body seeming to stiffen along with it then completely freeze...

**He doesn't move from me, he's still there sucking and licking, driving me crazy, his laboured breath turning me on more than I thought it ever could, every little movement driving me closer and closer. Fuckfuckfuck. **

**I feel him swallowing around me tightly, my fingers twisting in the sheets and I growl loudly as my back arches insanely, shoving my cock deeper into his mouth as my body spasms hard. **

**"Randy! Fuck... Ran.." My eyes roll back as I let go, spilling down his throat. **

**My nerves buzz, every single touch feeling like fire as he swallows every drop. I feel my body fall back against the bed, panting, gasping for air as he pulls off. **

**I lay there for no more than three seconds, the sheen of sweat covering my torso, slicking the sheets as I get up, pulling him into me, shoving my tongue****into his mouth. **

**Taking hold of his cock, I pump him fast, holding his mouth against mine, lewd moans and growls falling from my lips, **

**"Fuck," I groan, wanting to feel him cum over me. I want to feel it on my skin, hot and sticky and wet. I lay down, pulling him, he's straddling my chest, and I look up at him with big needy eyes licking my lips quickly as I work him fast, my other hand cupping his balls.**

The sight of his face as he came will be burned into my retinas forever, that is something I never want to forget as long as I live, it was the hottest thing I've ever seen, and I can't believe I'm even thinking that when less than an hour ago I was a normal straight pussy loving dude...

I stared at him, my own orgasm close, but entirely forgotten as I let his cock fall from my lips, swollen and tingling, I licked them, swallowing gingerly, my throat swollen and sore, and I loved it, I fucking loved it.

I wiped the last of his cum from my chin before absently sucking it from my finger, unaware of my own actions as I stared, my eyes hadn't moved, locked on him, the way his eyes rolled back in his head, the way his cock now lay, spent, against his hip, the way his hands still balled the sheets white knuckled in his fists, fuck, just fuck, I could've watched him all night, and I felt my cock nudge me at the thought.

But before I even had time to think about what to do about it, Cody had come back to life, grabbing me hard and forcing me upwards, his tongue tasting me, tasting himself on me, lapping it up, and that almost made me dizzy on its own until he positioned himself between my thighs, it was more than I could take… as he looked up at me I practically collapsed.

I was vaguely aware he was touching me but he didn't even need to, his eyes spoke volumes and did all the work for him whether he was aware of it or not, and I couldn't even breath as I spurted all over his face, massively trembling as I covered him in hot thick streams, catching me fully unawares as it was upon me before I even knew it was coming...

It was all I could do not to collapse on him, my silent scream manifesting itself in almost panicked gasps as I spasmed and shuddered to a halt above him, one hand clutching desperately at the headboard as I fell forward, my eyes clenching shut as tightly as my buttocks as the residual thrusting tapered out, white lights dancing behind my eyes…

**I couldn't help the satisfied moan that came from my lips as he came on me. I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes as stream after stream hit my face, covering my chin and mouth and I slinked my tongue out, licking around my lips slowly. I didn't particularly like the taste, but fuck right now I would have taken more, I would take anything he wanted to give me and I would love every fucking second of it. **

**The way his face twisted as he came, the feel of his body spasming on top of me, the way he slumped forward, the heavy erotic pants as his chest heaved up and down. Fuck. I wanted more. And I wanted it right fucking now. **

**I wiped my cheek, my hands running up his thighs as I closed my eyes once more, feeling more relaxed than I had in a long time, and somehow, having him here, having HIM be the one to do this.. it made me feel all that much better. I let out a tiny small moan of pleasure as my fingers traced small patterns on his skin. I swallowed hard, shifting slightly, biting my lip. **

**"Fuck." was all I could manage. **

My arm was actually shaking as it held me up, but I couldn't move, I was incapable of pretty much everything right now if truth be told, but before I had to make the decision to either roll awkwardly away or just collapse on Cody, he pulled me down on top of him, sensing my dilemma maybe, all my insecurities returning tenfold as the exhilaration abated and I'm sure it must've shown on my face.

I couldn't even open my eyes, couldn't face him, whereas I couldn't STOP looking at him a minute ago... but he just pulled me down and wrapped his arms around me, breathing still laboured in my ear as he sighed, seemingly incapable of any more than I was, repeating the same word that was resounding round my head over and over… fuck.

**I felt him shake above me and I looked up, biting the inside of my cheek, my breathing still heavy. What now? Did we lay there trying to pretend nothing ever happened? Do we go again? I mean, we sure as hell can't fucking stay like this... **

**I took in a breath and pulled him down on top of me. I can see he's feeling off. Awkward? Unsure? I run through a lot in my mind, just hoping to god that he was he wasn't ashamed. Because I wasn't. **

**That much I was sure of. I haven't felt this ok in a long time. I hoped I was right and he was just unsure, leaning over, I pressed my forehead against his and placed a hand on his side, but I can't think of anything to say to him. I'm not sure I *could* even say anything at this point.**

The second he rested his forehead against mine, I couldn't stop my lips from instantly seeking his, I mean, they were right there, and I'd done it before I even realised, but I wanted to, and I didn't know if it was the wisest decision cos I didn't want this to... I dunno, fuck everything up forever... but well, I figured it was already a little too late to be worried about that.

If it was gonna be fucked up, it would feel a little more awkward, right? Cos sure, it is, a little, and I'm pretty embarrassed, I mean I never lose control like that! Never! But fuck even the thought of just coming all over his face like that, I can feel myself stirring at just the thought.

So I kiss him, to reassure myself as much as him probably, but just to let him know, no matter which way it goes now, that I am totally ok with that. And yeah, I wanna do it again. When can we start? But I just lay there, I haven't even got my breath back yet, my tongue slowly tracing the lines of his mouth, just lazily tasting him.

This is so weird. It's totally fucked up. And I love it. I fucking love it.

**He starts kissing me and all thoughts leave my brain. I kiss him slowly, our bodies tangling together. I know that I needed this. I don't even know why. I just try to forget about what will happen tomorrow as I wrap a leg around his waist, pulling him closer to me. Finally breaking away, I take a breath and look at him for a few seconds, searching his face for something. Leaning back in I****kiss him harder, snaking my hands across his back, feeling every single dip and curve of his flesh, loving the way his tongue feels against mine. **

**I start wondering what is going on inside his head, what he's thinking about. Is he thinking about anything at all? I force myself to calm down, feeling myself start to press against him again. Shit, I don't think I have ever been this turned on****so quickly. I slide my tongue across his bottom lip before breaking away completely, resting my head on the pillow, breathing heavily. I stay there for a long few seconds, just laying there, wrapped up with him and I sigh contently. "Do you want a drink?" I ask, stretching my arms out. **


	4. Chapter 4

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 4

Words: 7030

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**Warnings: alot of fucking and saying fuck. Language and hardcore m/m slash**

...

"Fuck yes I want a drink." I drop back against the pillows, completely sated, I literally don't think I've felt this way afterwards since, since when? Ever? I dunno. And there wasn't even any sex.

I feel my brow furrow at that word, shit. Now what? Do I ever wanna go _there_? I dunno.

"Fuck yes I definitely want a drink."

I jumped up, downing a mouthful or two from the bottom of the bottle and offering the rest back to Cody, before getting up naked and not even caring, investigating the minibar.

Deciding there was nowhere near enough in there, I quickly threw my shorts back on, "I'll be right back."

**I watch him get up naked and I can't help but smirk, watching him walk over the bar as I take a mouthful of whiskey. I sit up in the bed, rubbing my face. **

**"Alright," I say arching an eyebrow as he pulls his shorts on. For a second I panic, wondering if he's running off on me. Shit...**

I was down at that bar and back again in the blink of an eye, fuck I practically sprinted... I was acutely aware yet totally oblivious at the same time of the scathing incredulous stares from the rest of the roster the whole time I was down there, this feeling of dread and loathing descended upon me and I couldn't have been more eager to get back.

I slid back into the room and shut the door quietly behind me, unable to stop the grin breaking out across my face as I saw Cody sitting where I left him on the bed, still completely starkers, and I held out both arms with a smirk, proffering the bottles I held in each.

"Where should we begin?"

**He was gone in an instant and my heart raced. Fuck fuck fuck. Is he coming back? Swallowing hard I raked my hands through my hair, groaning as it all hit home. **

**What the hell have I done? **

**I sighed heavily leaning back against the headboard, jumping a little when the door practically flew open again and I couldn't help but grin when I saw him come back in, holding bourbon and mixer aloft in his arms. **

**"Anywhere you want," I say, laughing. **

**The relief that flooded me was unreal. I could feel the tension easing out of me as I took one of the bottles and opened it, downing a long gulp. I wiped my mouth a little and couldn't help but grin. **

**"I think you have too many clothes on," I say, my words slurring just a little.**

I looked down confused, hand half way to my mouth as I cracked open the new bourbon, and took a massive swig, smirking as I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth, smacking my lips in satisfaction,

"Couldn't have said it better myself..."

Shucking my shorts off, I all but pounced on the bed, kneeling at the end, straddling his feet and taking another generous swig, before capping the top and falling forward onto all fours, crawling towards him, bottle still in hand as I reached his thighs.

I knelt up, leaning back on my haunches and slowly lifting the bottle to my lips again, I looked Cody right in the eye, realising just before I took a swig that the cap was still on.

Sniggering at me he swiped it from my hand and gulped some down himself, then holding it up to my lips he tilted the bottle, a trickle running down my chin that he lapped up with his tongue, hot and wet against my skin.

**I laugh and snatch the bottle, opening it and taking a large gulp. I smirk, sitting forward, bringing the bottle to his lips, slowly tilting it up as the liquid pours into his mouth. I take the bottle away and grin as I lean forward, my tongue dragging up the side of his mouth, licking off a small trickle.**

**Putting the bottle on the nightstand, I let my tongue slide across his bottom lip, sucking and nipping at the still swollen flesh, bringing my hands to his hips, pulling him forward more until our chests were pressed flush against each other. **

**Fuck. **

**This is so hot I can't even get my head around it anymore. So I stop trying. I hold back a groan as my hands move from his hips, down the curve of his back and I grab his ass cheeks, squeezing as I crash my lips against his**.

Oh my fucking god, the way he fucking just licked me, that was pure filth, pornographic as fuck, and I was harder than I'd ever been in my life in an instant. He was full on groping me and I melted against his chest, my mouth was fused to him, and I couldn't get enough.

My head was spinning and I wasn't sure if it was from the sheer volume of booze we'd consumed or the fact that every blood cell in my body was currently having a reunion in the head of my cock as it strained against his taut abdomen. His hard flesh was rubbing against my own and sending driving pulses coursing through me, I was running on pure adrenaline, mixed with instinct, a lethal cocktail of lust taking over my brain and I suddenly knew what my stance on fucking would be...

**I growled as my hands ran across his skin, my hand wrapping around his shaft, toying with his tip slowly, smirking as I tug on his lower lip. **

**"Want you," I mumble, stroking him fast, moaning softly against his lips as I move my hand faster, hard as fuck as I started to grind myself against him, rutting furiously, tugging on his swollen cock, moving my lips to his neck, bringing my hand to his head, pulling it back as my lips and teeth assaulted his skin. **

**I licked and sucked, nipping every bit of skin I could manage, then broke away completely, smirking at him as I reached down, grabbing the bottle from the floor and opening it again. Taking a long gulp and licking my lips slowly, my tongue languidly had a mind of its own, dragging across his bottom lip.**

My hands were everywhere, I wanted to feel everything, taste everything, and I was doing a pretty good job of going about it, his mouth was assaulting my senses, my skin on fire under his hot tongue running all over me, and I shadowed his movements, my hands mirroring his, my tongue darting in and out of succulent dips in his skin, tasting the salty sweat on his flesh.

He was delicious and I inhaled him deeply, wanting more, giving more,

"Want you too..."

But I wasn't sure how to go about it, I felt him tremor at my words, proving I'd said them aloud which scared the fuck outta me I'm not gonna lie, and I flipped him over with a heated growl as he bit into the side of my neck, pulling him back down on top of me,

"Want you now..."

**My cock twitched at his words and I took in a deep breath, grinding against him almost roughly as he flipped us over. **

**"Fuck..." **

**I had no idea what to do. I'm here grinding against him, kissing him and I can't do anything else. I growl against his neck as I sit up slightly, supporting myself on my arms as I look down at him. I lick my lips quickly. **

**"What... do you want?" I ask, my breathing heavy.**

**Fuck... I have him under me and I'm just staring at him. I chew my lip, waiting for an answer because I'll be fucked if I know what's going to happen. I want him. I KNOW I want him. It's driving me insane. I just... don't know if he wants that... I mean, fuck it looks like it. **

**I bite the inside of my cheek hard as I lean down, kissing him again, catching his lips with mine as I slide my tongue against his, moaning softly. My cock is twitching as I press against him, begging for more.**

My cock was brushing up against his ass as he continued to grind down hard against me, slipping between his cheeks at one particularly forceful buck of his hips, but I felt him tense instantly against me, gasping against my mouth as he froze, then recovering himself and flushing bright red he jumped slightly, just enough to free my cock, and he slid back trapping it beneath him until it appeared between us and he took it in hand with his, making sure it didn't happen again I guess...

Palming us both frantically he was breathing hard and fast, avoiding my eye, and I grabbed his face between both my hands and dragged him back down, squashing us together and opening my thighs until he was nestled neatly between them, my cock springing free between our bodies, his own now trapped, prodding hard against my cheeks.

**I lay there for a second looking down at him as I lay between his legs, my heart hammering. I started to grind against him, the tip of my cock brushing against his virgin entrance every time I moved, my precum smearing around his puckered hole. I bit my lip, reaching between us, taking hold of his shaft, working him fast. I shook my head slightly before crashing my lips against his, my breathing raspy. **

**I had no idea what to do. So I just did it. I pulled back slightly and took my cock, pressing it against him and pushed in a little, scrunching my eyes shut as the tight ring of muscle tensed. I swallowed hard and looked down at him before grabbing his thigh and hooking it around my waist. **

**"Ready?" I asked hoarsely, a sheen of sweat on my body.**

"Are _you_?"

I wondered out loud, watching his face go through a plethora of emotions, "Haven't you ever done this before?"

**I frowned and took a deep breath, my mind starting to race. "Not with a guy... no..." I swallowed a little. "Have you?"**

I shrugged as best I could under his body weight, "Not with a guy, no, never, but I meant with a girl... I mean I know it's not something they're all gonna take you up on, but…"

I suddenly realised the look on his face was the same one they wore when... "You look like you don't want to..."

I realised with a start that that was exactly how he looked, and I wondered why he was really doing this... or was he just nervous?

"Just do it," I whispered, hoping that's all the problem was, clenching against his length in an attempt to draw him in, attempting to prove it was what I wanted, what I needed?

Maybe...

I was certainly getting desperate at the look on his face, "I can take it," I joked, "Unlike most girls I'm actually asking you for this, begging even..."

I trailed off, biting my lip as his eyes widened, and I raised my hips in response to his slow movements, wrapping my thighs around his hips and drawing him forward, clenching myself hard around him and releasing to encourage him a little more each time, finally pulling him back down on top of me and groaning into his mouth as the sharp penetration took my breath away,

"Fuck,"

We gasped in unison,

"Oh my god..."

**I listened to him ramble for a moment. Was he as fucking nervous as me? It didn't really sound like it. My mouth opens slightly as he says he's asking me to do it. **

**I close my eyes as I feel his hips rise to mine, my cock pushing into him more. I grunt and let my head fall forwards, thrusting into him fully. **

**"Fuck," I pant, staying there for a few seconds, the tight velvet walls contracting around me. I look down at him and kiss him roughly, grinding inside him slowly at first. Fuck... I growl as I pull out slightly, closing my eyes and thrusting into him harder, my hips rolling against him. **

**"So fucking tight..." I pant as I move faster. I sit back, grabbing his thighs and holding them apart as I drive myself deeper into him, gasping and panting against his ear.**

If I'm gonna do this I gotta do it hard, and I gotta do it fast, I wanna know about it tomorrow, I wanna remember, I wanna remember everything, even when my alcohol fucked brain refuses me access to my memory I want something to remind me, I want it to feel, I want to hurt...

He's watching himself thrusting into my body, fuck, that makes me so hot right there, imagining what he can see, fuck, I never thought that'd be something that would even enter my brain, yet here I am wishing I could see it too, what the fuck has happened to me? I'm completely unfamiliar to myself, these things I'm doing are fucking with my brain and I'll never be the same again, and I like it, I fucking like it...

I feel him gain confidence and speed up his pace, and I watch his face, my hands gripping tight on the back of his thighs, his digging hard into my flesh, I want bruises, I want him to mark me.

**I watch my cock thrust into him and I growl, driving myself into him harder. Fuck. The way he feels around me, clenching so tight, the look on his face as I'm pounding into him makes me want to blow my load right fucking there. But I can't, I want to make this last as long as I can. I pant heavily, shifting his legs over my shoulders and I slow down, pushing into him deeper, as deep as I can possibly go. I can feel his muscles tensing and clenching around me as I stretch him, grinding into him hard. **

**"Randy..." I moan, tilting my head back, "You feel fucking amazing..." I groan deeply, reaching over and grabbing his cock in my hand, stroking him in time with my thrusts, getting harder and rougher as I went.**

"Harder…"

I growl it low and deep in the back of my throat, fuck, I practically demanded it, I _need_ it, I'm arching off the bed as he grips my thighs, his knuckles white, my muscles trembling as he pulls them obscenely far apart then back onto his shoulders, his fingers digging in to my flesh, just like I want, just like I need,

"Harder!"

I shout it this time as he moves slightly and grinds deeper inside of me, something making me almost see stars as he does it again and again. He's murmuring something, but I'm lost, the universe is sparkling behind my eyes right now and they're not even closed as he keeps up a relentless drive.

I'm gone, it's only hearing my name on his lips that pulls me back to reality, keeps me grounded, because I don't want to miss a single second of this.

But I almost lose myself instantly again the second he takes hold of my cock, I know I cried out, his fist pumping me forcefully, my eyes rolling back in my head as my back practically arched up to the ceiling and his thrusts penetrated my brain, hitting something inside of me that was making me lose my mind as well as all control.

**He growls at me to go harder and who the fuck am I to deny that? I clench my teeth as I pound into him, the sound of those beautiful moans and growls coming from him making my head spin. I can feel him tighten around me and his back arches, a look of complete bliss etched across his face as I drive into him with as much force as I can. I pant hard, lewd groans escaping my throat as I stop completely and pull out.**

**I grab hold of him and push him onto his stomach before grabbing his hips and pulling his ass towards me. I lean forward, kissing and biting at his back as I push my cock into him again, almost crying out as I feel him throb and clench around me. **

**"Fuck," I growl as I snap my hips forward, holding his hips tightly, pulling him back onto me with every thrust in. Tilting my head back, I gasp for breath as I dig my nails into his skin, wanting him to feel everything. I want him to feel everything I have, all of it. **

**Panting, I lean forward as I bite at his skin, grinding into him roughly as I lick along his tattoo, biting hard on his shoulder.**

The pain is exquisite agony every time I feel his teeth sinking into my skin, so hard this time as I feel him spasm behind me, forcing me down as my legs gave way under his weight, my sweat slicked back flush with his chest, sliding against his scalding hot skin.

The way he gasps when he pulls away I'm sure he's drawn blood, marking me, claiming me, and I need it, I want it… I need to _see_ it... and he seems to sense it, my desire, his finger following the indents left by his teeth…

I hiss at the sensation, he leans back down and I feel my tender flesh soothed soon after by his hot tongue, lapping at my skin, sucking, and I moan, I can hear it, like a foreign sound far away from my own body as he forces my head back with one hand, his finger smeared with my own blood forced into my mouth.

I sucked greedily, the act in itself seeming to drive Cody on and I could feel him breathing heavily into my neck from behind as he watched, our lips seeking each other, tongues lapping, his body pressing me hard down into the bed.

I felt trapped and I loved it, his heavy weight on my back, my cock forced hard into the mattress, desperate for friction, his slick length slowly grinding in shallow thrusts.

"Faster!" I panted, almost pleading, forcing my trapped arms from beneath me to wrench my own ass cheeks further apart, desperately trying to force him deeper, my hips rhythmically bucking of their own accord in an attempt to grant him better access. I felt him prop himself up to gain leverage, leaning backwards, his knees digging into my hips, and at the animalistic growl he released I just knew what he was watching, the mere thought of what he could see making me bite my lip in desperation, making me pant wildly.

I needed to see that, I wanted to see him, what he was doing to me.

**I have my eyes closed as I bite hard on his skin I freeze for a split second, a coppery taste on my tongue. moaning I start to suck at the wound, biting harder. I gasp quietly, letting out a long satisfied groan as I lick along the tender skin, breathing hard. I thrust into him roughly, almost violently as I drag my fingers across the trickle of blood, covering my fingertip before shoving it into his mouth, my breath hot and heavy against his ear. **

**I can hear myself grunt, short sharp thrusts as I pull his head back, my tongue diving into his mouth, licking and tasting him as much as I can in a wet sloppy kiss. I feel him hold himself open for me like some depraved filthy slut and I growl, leaning back. Looking down, I watch my cock slam into him, loud hoarse moans fall from my lips, the sight alone making me want to explode. I grab hold of his hip, holding him place as I move faster. **

**Fuck I felt like I was going to cum right there, those sounds he was making were starting to get me dizzy, and the way he's holding himself open like that... fuck. **

**I swallow hard, raking my nails down his back and grabbing his ass tightly, squeezing him in my hand as I hold him open, my thumb pressing against his rim as I fucked him harder, pressing against him, the tip ever so slightly dipping in.**

Oh my fucking god what was that? Was that…? Fuck, I'm sure my eyes were bulging out of my head… oh my god, I needed to see that, his thumb in there with his cock, like right the fuck now! And I needed to see it again and again and again…

I sat up so quickly I almost threw Cody off me, scrambling for my shorts on the floor, fumbling for my phone. I could feel Cody's eyes boring in to the back of my head in confusion as I leapt back onto the bed, grabbing him roughly and dragging him back up on top of me, devouring his lips violently and hungrily as I leant back against the headboard.

I thrust the phone into his hand, saying nothing, my eyes pleading on my behalf so I didn't have to say it, didn't have to reveal the extent of my deviance,

He stared at my hand, then at me, incredulous.

"Film it…" I growled, and his eyes flicked up to my face, "I need to see…"

I was panting already, and I saw the beginnings of a devilish smirk play around the corner of his mouth, before he was pushing me back down, mouth clamped over mine, fingers probing my abused entrance, tender and raw, his touch like pins and needles as his digits entered me roughly.

I felt a violent shudder of desire run through him at his lewd action and he pulled back sharply, his eyes instantly drawn to where his fingers were disappearing into my body and he snatched the phone from my hand.

**He pushes me off and I gasp in shock, landing on my side as I stare at him. **

**"Wha...?" I growl as he jumps back on the bed. I don't get a chance to say anything else before he was on me, his mouth completely smothering me, his teeth scraping my tongue and lips, growling against my skin. He pulls me on top of him and I grind against him hard, my hand instantly touching and stroking his leaking cock. **

**I can't get enough of him. I pant heavily as he backs up the headboard and we catch each others' eyes for one long second. He shoves the phone into my hand and I look at him. **

**Was he asking me to... fuck yes he was. **

**I could feel my cock twitching at the thought. And fuck I wanted to have this. I needed it so fucking bad. I try to force the smirk from my face as I pull him flat on his back, yanking his legs open as I trace my fingers around his stretched, throbbing hole, pushing my fingers into him. **

**I glanced up at him as I turned the camera on, licking my lips slowly. I leaned forward, spitting on him as I rubbed around his hole, the only lube he had gotten. I shove my fingers in roughly, my eyes glued to what I was doing before I shifted, pressing the tip of my cock into him. **

**"You're a filthy bitch," I mumble, my words almost lost as I groan loudly, my eyes stuck on the screen.**

"Fucking do it Cody…" I gasp, grabbing handfuls of his ass and trying to force him further inside of me, but I needn't have bothered asking cos no sooner were the words out of my mouth than he had complied, cutting me off as a guttural roar was ripped from my body, pain and pleasure indeterminable as my pure desperate need was satiated.

I fought the urge to scrunch my eyelids tight as I watched his face, his expression one of awe, mesmerised by what he saw.

"Oh my god oh my god, show me!"

I was panting, rutting furiously, trying to stay still, hands fisting the bed sheets as I stared at his face, he was transfixed, eyes alight with perverse lust, and I was in raptures watching, watching him, watching him watching us…

**"Wait," I gasp, "Fuck... this is hot..." **

**I push into him balls deep, "Shit," I groan, pulling back and slamming into him, loving the noises he was making, urging me on even more. **

**"I wanna film me cumming inside you," I pant, trying to hold the phone right, my hand trembling, "And fuck... I wanna watch it leak out... fucking feels so good..." I growl, pounding into him, my body sticky with sweat. **

**I watch on the screen as I feel myself get closer, my thrusts coming in sharp pushes as I wrap my fist around his cock, "I want you to cum... so fucking hard." **

**Snapping my hips forward roughly, I leaned back, my cock pressing against his tight walls as hard as it possibly could, ramming my cock into him over and over again, getting closer by the second.**

Cody's words are fucking killing me, watch it leak out? Oh my fucking god, and I know he's doing it to rile me up, not that I need any assistance with that, and visions of what he's describing are dancing behind my eyes.

I close them tight, letting my thoughts wander in a futile attempt to stave off the inevitable as I feel his hand take hold of me, pumping erratically in time with his thrusts, the duel sensation like nothing I've ever felt before, already creeping from the very depths of my insides.

I can't explain it, I can't even describe this… well, this indescribable feeling I guess heh. And I can't understand why people don't want to do this, like all the fucking time? Or do they just pretend they don't? Cos fuck, there's no way I'm not doing this again, and I can't fucking believe I've not experienced it before, didn't know it was there to experience… not like this. I never imagined it this way round, this way at all, me being… yeah.

Never. _Never._

But now it's consumed me, this double assault on my senses, to the point where I don't think I could ever go back to… before. Not now. No way.

I open my eyes, Cody's face in deep concentration, I need to see this, I need to see what he sees. The thought alone makes me buck involuntarily, pure and utter filth, Cody's hand pressing down hard on my hip to keep me still, fingers kneading my flesh, his nails embedded in my skin as he pants deep rasping breaths,

"Fuck…"

**"Randy I'm fucking close," I moan loudly, my body aching and screaming for release, desperatel to get off right fucking now. I watch him twist and moan, his body arching and writhing and it feels so fucking good that I think my balls are going to explode. **

**Fuck. **

**And it feels even better that I'M the one who's doing this to him. That I'M the one making him squirm and moan and fucking want more. I buck my hips forward, trying to hold back as long as I possibly can, my head starting to get light as I feel him tighten around me, his ass feeling like nothing I've even felt before. So fucking tight and perfect around me. I need more. And I don't ever want this to stop. **

**"So close," I almost choke out, my hand squeezing his shaft, leaning forward, my cock sliding into him further, "Feels so fucking perfect," **

**I press my lips against his, shoving my tongue into his mouth, hard. I feel him panting against my mouth and it feels so filthy, hot and fucking lust filled before I pull back, my entire body trembling as I'm just about to tip over the edge.**

"Randy…"

He looks into my eyes as he says my name and I'm there, I'm fucking there, my cock twitching against my stomach as my head bounces off the pillows in sync with my hips, ramming down onto him hard, again and again and again, and I'm done.

I'm completely unaware of everything around me and everything in the entire world, everything except the feeling of his hardness filling me up completely as I bounce off repeatedly, my fists undecided between balling the sheets and frantically grasping his thighs, holding him behind his knees and almost unseating him as I buck in the throes of uncontrollable ecstasy.

I was gasping and panting and crying out as my mind went black, head thrashing about from side to side as I struggled to hold back, why, I have no idea, I just knew I didn't want it to end, this incredible feeling, owning me, controlling me, impossible to stop, and before I even knew it was happening my cock was spurting rivulets of thick streaming strands, haphazardly flying everywhere, Cody's face taking the brunt as I inadvertently bucked him forward into the onslaught.

I've never seen anything hotter, than it running down his face like that.

**I watched his face as he started to cum, his back arching right off the bed. He was slamming back against me, his moans so loud I'm sure they could hear him in the lobby and it made me want it even more. **

**I growled, slamming into him as my own back arched, the camera almost forgotten as I exploded inside him, crying out his name as I rode out my orgasm, every single nerve in my body fucking dancing as I felt him move against me. **

**"Fuuuuck," I growled, gasping as he bucked wildly under me, falling forward. I couldn't help the filthy depraved moan that came from my lips as I felt his release cover my mouth for the second time in one night and I fucking loved it. I loved every fucking filthy second of it. **

**I collapsed forward for a second, panting heavily, our bodies sticking together as I pulled back, taking the camera in my hand again. **

**"Fuck..."**

I couldn't even breathe, let alone speak, panting like crazy, literally gasping for air, my chest heaving, rising and falling like I'd run a fucking marathon, fuck. Fuck. I couldn't even move. I couldn't even fucking see! Fucking stars man, fucking stars.

I could still feel myself clenching around him, my body's residual shuddering slowly coming to a standstill, I was fucked, totally and utterly fucked. Literally as well as physically and oh my god. Just fuck. No words. No fucking words. I was incapable! I couldn't even think! It was all I could do to just lie here and wait to regain some semblance of control, of normality, of reality. I never lose control like that. I don't let myself, and no one has ever made me…

I gradually became aware of Cody slowly slipping out, his sweaty torso still collapsed on top of me, his chest panting hard against my own. I'd hardly even realised that he was there. I was that fucking incapable! Spent. Completely and utterly spent. I stared at his face, covered in… covered in me.

He said nothing, just stared at me in return from where he lay on my chest. I had an overwhelming urge to… and I couldn't stop my tongue from darting out to lick up the side of his mouth, collecting my carelessly discarded cum from his flushed skin. I think I surprised myself as much as I did him with that, but there was amusement in his eyes, and brow raised, I returned his smirk.

As he eased himself up, I saw his eyes immediately flick to watch himself fall from my body, and I instantly felt… hollow? Empty? Incomplete? And turned on as fuck as I watched him, as his breath hitched and I realised what he was doing, still clutching my phone, as I felt his release spill from me.

I gulped as I tried to imagine what that looked like, dying to see what he'd managed to capture on video… My cock twitched despite itself, and I gasped at what he did next, moaning in a way that sounded positively pornographic even to my own ears, unable to stop it as I felt his fingers run around the edges of my raw skin, dipping slowly inside, collecting his own fluids…

I stared, frozen to the spot as I watched him lean forward, pushing my thighs back against my chest, I felt his tongue delve gently into my abused swollen hole, lapping, soothing the harsh burn… staring straight at me as he knelt back up.

Closing his eyes, he raised his fingers slowly to his mouth… scrunching his face up in amusement as he tasted himself before opening his eyes again to fix me with a wicked smirk.

I stared.

I licked my lips.

I know I did, I couldn't help it. I wanted to know what it tasted like, what he tasted like, dare I say it, what _I_ tasted like…

I was on my knees before I knew what I was doing and before he did, his cock was in my mouth, despite knowing full well where it had just been…

So that's what I taste like?

It was… different, not what I expected…

His legs practically gave way above me as he realised what I'd done, and he pushed me back down, calling me every filthy name he could think of as his lips hit mine hard.

**Fuck... thats all I can think of right now is **_**fuck**_**. Just fuck. I lay there for a few seconds, his cum slowly rolling down my chin and I didn't even give a fuck what it looked like. I bet I looked like some cock crazy whore... The worst part was I starting to feel like one. I was still holding the phone in my hand, my breathing still coming in deep hoarse pants as I tensed inside of him. **

**A soft, surprised, filthy moan escaped my lips as I felt his tongue at the side of my mouth, licking away his release and if I wasn't so fucking spent I would have been hard and ready to go again straight away. I raked my fingers across the back of his neck, smirking at him when he pulled back. **

**Shifting back up onto my knees, I took the camera in my hand again, watching myself slip slowly from his body, still feeling him clench around me, making me shiver. I could hear the heavy pants come from me as I watched my cum leak from his body and I suppressed a moan, my free hand running up his thigh, squeezing the muscles. **

**Fuck that's hot. **

**It was hotter than anything I have ever fucking done before and I wanted more. **

**I ran my finger across his hole, my thumb smearing myself around him. My eyes flicked up to his and I licked my lips quickly, pushing his thighs up suddenly… Now or never right? **

**I held my breath slightly as I leaned forward, my tongue flicking across his swollen sensitive hole, tasting myself on him, locking my eyes with his, my tongue pushing deeper into him as I moaned against him, my cock twitching again. **

**Fuck... **

**So much in such a short space of time... He's driving me insane... I sit back, lapping at him once more as I pushed my fingers into him again. I pulled back and locked my eyes with his, grinning as I licked around them, sucking them into my mouth. **

**My eyes flew open as he practically leapt forward, his mouth enveloping my cock as I growled, holding his head in place. I looked down at him sucking on me, his tongue tasting himself on me. I gasped as I pulled his head back off me, pushing him onto his back.**

**"Such a filthy fucking slut," I growled, shoving my tongue into his mouth as I pressed my body against his, almost rutting against him again. I could feel my body start to flush already as my cock rubbed against his, my hands rubbing and kneading every piece of skin I could get at. I had to pull away, gasping as I lay on my back.**

**He's turning me into something I can't even understand let alone explain, and I don't even want to try, I just want to feel, everything, all of it, and I don't want this feeling to stop, to ever go away.**

**"Fuck," I groaned, reaching down and grabbing one of the bottles, taking a large swig, offering it to him.**

I took it gratefully, unintentionally downing almost half the bottle. Heh, I seem to have worked up quite the thirst! I watched him watching me as I drank greedily, and couldn't help but lick my lips as I took the neck of the bottle from my mouth, and we both collapsed back against the pillows chuckling, quickly lapsing into, dare I say it, (don't tell anyone…) a fit of drunken giggles as we sought each others' mouths again.

Fuck, I just can't get enough of him… this is all… it's just crazy! It's like, it's like I'm not even myself at all, I feel like I'm acting totally without thinking but fully aware of the consequences, and despite being completely off my face I'm thinking with acute clarity, yet instead of thinking myself out of it, I go with the flow, with my gut, cos it somehow all feels more right than anything else has in a long time, so I keep going, it feels…

It feels good...

I know it sounds cliché as fuck, but man, I feel alive, I feel like a million currents of electricity are coursing through my body and parts of myself I never knew existed have been awakened...

Fuck that sounds so lame, I can't believe I'm thinking shit like that, somebody shoot me in the head and put me out of my misery before I turn into a Hallmark card… but seriously, it's true, I do feel different, I feel… good. I feel _good_.

And I like it.

Of course I have no idea how I'm gonna feel in the morning when I'm sober enough to realise what I've done, but right here right now, I'm happy to just lay back after the most exhilarating experience of my life and enjoy it.

Not to mention the fact that it was an amazing fuck to top it all off, fuck, I had NO idea it could be like that, that it felt like _that_, that… that, I dunno, it would DO that to me, blow my mind, cos it did. I can't deny it. Okay whatever so I might've just lost about a million man points by saying that but I really don't care right now. It was incredible, it really was.

I thought it was supposed to hurt? Isn't that the excuse you get off every fucking chick you suggest it to? Damn straight it is! Fucking lies I tell you. They're just not doing it right, obviously. Or maybe I just wanted it THAT bad… or maybe Cody is just THAT good… or maybe it actually DID hurt but I was too drunk to notice, or care, and tomorrow I'm gonna know all about it? Shit.

Nah. Anyway, even if it does, I don't regret it. Nope. Not a single fucking minute. Fuck, it was so damn hot I can hardly get my head around it. Not that my head is capable of very much at all right now…

**My lips are all over his, the taste of both of us in our mouths and fucking hell I love it. I hate that I'm so turned on again that my cock fucking hurts as I press against him, my hands everywhere. I can't help the small moans escaping my lips as we kiss, angry with myself for being so tired. I mean fuck, of course I'm fucking tired. I'm hammered. **

**And just got off twice in a row without much of a break. And fucking hell I loved it. I didn't think that I could have ever loved it as much as I did. The feel of him around me... those fucking sounds he made, the way his face twisted and his body arched under me... fuck I'm setting myself off again.**

**I pull back and swallow hard, grabbing the drink and downing a mouthful, my lips on his neck and shoulder as soon as the bottle was back on the floor. My hands run down his body, my fingers tracing every inch of his skin. **

**"Fuck," I grumble, my head swimming with what has just happened. What made me feel even weirder was that it wasn't awkward... well it was a little but not what I would have imagined... not that I had ever imagined it before a few hours ago but you know what I mean. It felt really... natural to be here with him like this. And I know one thing for a fact, I didn't want this to stop here.**

**I sigh, reaching for a cigarette, offering one to Randy whose dead weight is still across my chest, but as I look down, I realise he's dead to the world, a look of complete contentment on his face as he snores lightly in my armpit.**

**Forgoing the smoke, I ease down beside him, resting my forehead against his, knowing the expression on his face is mirrored on mine as I close my eyes, shutting out the world, just us. **

**Just us, until we come to our senses… I guess we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings… **


	5. Chapter 5

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 5

Words: 4,391

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

...

My first sense of the new morning is the intense straining in my bladder insisting that I do something about it, and I dutifully ignore it, something in my instinct telling me it's definitely not time, or not advisable, to be awake just yet. As long as I keep my eyes shut I'll be fine…

I can feel my head pounding without even opening my eyes, and despite being entirely non corpus mentis, I just know, I KNOW there's no way I can even consider getting up just yet. But then I hear something that makes my eyelid shoot open, then slam shut again against the pins firing into my eyeball from the harsh light spilling into the room, then once again cautiously prise itself open at the sound I register from behind me…

It's only then I realise I'm trapped.

The dead weight of an arm wrapped securely round my midsection, legs pressing hotly into mine where they bend at the knee from behind. I look down, my neck creaking with effort, my eyes taking their sweet fucking time to focus, and in their blurry field of vision it looks like they're seeing the tanned, smooth, muscular arm of a man!

I laugh hoarsely to myself, settling back down and snuggling in further to the warm body behind me, my parched throat filled with sandpaper as my laugh turns into a dry cough, but I ignore it best I can as I force my brain to attempt to piece together the night before… with little success…

Knuckling the sleep from my eyes I crane my neck towards the bedside table, to see if I was thoughtful enough to provide myself with a bottle of water in readiness for this morning's inevitable outcome, but no, Orton you inconsiderate bastard, it seemed I hadn't bothered, the hindsight this time, like every other, no benefit unless you actually act on it.

The thought of water was now stuck firmly in my mind, and I wanted it to be in my mouth as I tried to dislodge this wad of sandpaper, and the only way it was going to happen was by moving. Not the ideal scenario but one that nevertheless I had no choice in. Plus, my bladder was preparing to kick me in the nuts for even daring to think about water…

It took all my strength to ease away from the strong arm enveloping me, and I felt the body behind grumble at the loss of my presence, (it's only natural, hehheh,) but as I focussed properly for the first time on the long fingers grasping my own, I realised my eyes hadn't been playing tricks on me after all...

What the fuck…

**I can hear myself grunting as I start to shift around slightly, holding onto the warm thing in front of me. I lick my lips and groan, my eyes slowly opening. I grunt again as my head buries itself into a large shoulder blade and I smile a little, snuggling into the warmth before I stop for a second. Shoulder blade? I take in a breath and go to pull back but I feel fingers clasped with my own. **

**My eyes open and I find myself staring at a guy. And suddenly I find myself very very naked. Not only that, I also find myself very naked with, not only a guy, but with Randy.**

**Naked Randy.**

**I frown and shake my head, forgetting about trying to figure it out as I feel him move, unlinking our fingers. I think he's staring at me but I can't be sure. I open my eyes slowly and sit up, my body aching for some reason. **

**"Morning," I croak awkwardly, rubbing my eyes furiously.**

I stare at him, wide eyed, open mouthed, at a complete loss to explain what the fuck is going on, until he looks up and our eyes meet and in an instant everything from the night before flashes through my mind in quick succession.

Oh my fucking fuck.

My eyes grow even wider if that's possible, and I know I'm gawping like a damn fool as my addled brain tries to piece it all together.

His eyes are wide too, widening further as mine do, in concern I realise, like he's considering his options, like he thinks my actions will decide his fate, he's just waiting to see if I'm gonna kiss him or kill him…

I think maybe I'm wondering the same thing…

All it takes is his lopsided smile, almost shy, reserved, completely awkward, that tiny quirk at the corner of his mouth and I'm gone, it all comes flooding back, every feeling, every sensation, and I can't even stop myself from launching myself at his mouth,

"Morning…"

**I see his eyes grow wide and so do mine, my stomach twisting in knots as bits and pieces come back to me. I remember kissing. Lots and lots of kissing... and skin... fuck I remember his skin. I lick my lips again in a vain attempt to get them wet, my mouth bone dry. **

**I bite the inside of my cheeks and try desperately to force a smile from my face as I remember how we were last night and failing miserably. **

**I'm almost fearful of what he's thinking but my eyes grow wide again as I feel his mouth on mine, groaning quietly as my arms instantly wrap around his shoulders, my lips moving with his. **

**So he doesn't hate me then... that's good.**

**Not as good as this feel though. Even though my head is thumping and my body is aching, my mouth is dry and I'm dying for something to drink, the only thing I can think of is how fucking amazing his lips feel against mine.**

I groan into his mouth and it almost kills me to tear myself away, but if I don't pee now I'm gonna do it in the fucking bed…

"Don't you even think about moving…"

I'm reassuring him as I back off the bed, practically sprinting to the bathroom completely naked before returning in record time, chucking him a bottle of water and downing one myself in a matter of seconds before crawling back over to him and covering his body with mine as I attack his lips with gusto once more.

I just can't get enough! It's all just so new, and so damn fucking hot!

Speaking of which…

Not taking my lips from Cody's, I reach around for my phone which is still lying somewhere on the mattress, and pulling back with a questioning brow, I hold it up in front of us…

**I could feel him rummaging around and I arched an eyebrow, opening my eyes as my lips moved against his and I smirked against his mouth, seeing his phone in his hand. **

**"I wanna see this so bad," I say, breaking away for a second, an excited undertone in my voice. My cheeks flush slightly and I grin, sitting up. **

**"Play it," I grab a cigarette from the bedside locker and lighting up two, hand one to him, "And send it to me aswell." **

**I smile and kiss him back, none of that awkwardness I feared last night coming back. And I was thankful for it because fuck I wanted those lips all over me again. Right fucking now. But I'll settle for watching it instead… **

**I kiss him with force before breaking away and biting at my lip, waiting for him to press play. My eyes widened as more came back to me from last night as my cock twitches, watching him on that screen. **

Oh my god oh my god oh my fucking god… the first thing I see when I hit play… is _me_…

I'm sprawled out, legs spread obscenely wide, and I'm looking right at Cody, so it looks like it's right at the lens, like a fucking porn star heh, and fuck, the look on my face is one of absolute…

I look like I'm, I look like I'm fucking _begging_ him for it, I'm writhing around and covered in a sheen of sweat, my eyes are glazed and I'm breathing so heavily, like, actual panting, I can hear it through the phone, oh my god, and I'm panting now in real time too, fuck me, his fingers are trailing around my…

Shiiiiit…

Fucking hell I'm sitting here right now watching Cody's fingers entering my body on this tiny screen and I can feel it, just seeing it instantly brings back the sensations all over again and I'm holding my breath, I can feel Cody beside me, squirming a little too, his eyes glued to the screen aswell and we groan in unison at what we see…

Oh my fucking fuck, I look like a wanton slut, my face is bright red as I watch myself grinding down on his fingers, I can see myself staring at Cody, watching what he's doing to me, and it's weird, watching myself watch him, knowing what I could see then, and now knowing what _he _could see…

And then I nearly cum again right there as I watch myself roar, watching his cock slide completely into my body. Cody whimpers beside me and I chance a look over at him, his eyes glued to the screen in my hand, his cock glued to his stomach.

**I can hear his breathing shallow and I lick my lips, forcing my hand to stay above my waist, for now. I watch my cock slide into him and looking at it now, it's even fucking hotter than it was last night if that was even possible. Because last night... it fucking blew my mind. I can hear him pant and moan and my cock is fully hard, my fingers itching to take hold and pump myself while watching him.**

I'm in raptures, both onscreen and off, and then I hear his words from the night before all over again, _"I wanna film me cumming inside you," _

Oh my fucking god when he said that then I died, but that's nothing compared to how I feel hearing his voice say it now through those tinny speakers and seeing my reaction to it on the screen, _"I wanna watch it leak out,"_

My brain explodes, just knowing it's all on film and still to come, blowing my mind just the mere thought of watching it back like this with him, so damn hot, HE'S so damn hot, and it's all I can do not to pounce on Cody right the fuck now. In fact, the only reason I don't is I'm that fucking desperate to see the footage...

I take my cock in hand, seeing him do the same out the corner of my eye, biting my lip hard as my hips instantly buck into my stroke.

I'm watching him fuck me.

That thought alone is enough to send me over the edge, cos again I'm feeling every bit of it, every thrust, every prod of his solid thick cock at my inner recesses… without it even happening I can feel it all over again.

And if that's not enough, I'M WATCHING HIM FUCK ME.

Oh my fucking god.

I'm sitting here, with my own two eyes watching my own ass get fucked, by a fricken dude. And not just any dude, by the one currently sitting next to me fucking his hand, his slick skin sliding against mine now just like in the video, and I don't know where to look… I'm spoilt for choice, hot tanned skin in my vision on all sides, but as I watch myself come undone onscreen, my mind casts back to what happened next and I feel a jolt of epic proportions surge through me as I practically salivate at the thought of him catching it on film…

I watch, eyes wide, baited breath, biting my lip hard as I wait… and the camera angle falters, the screen changes angle as Cody falls forward, my hips bucking uncontrollably as he fucks me to completion… and I watch myself shoot my load all over his face…

**I hear myself telling him that I want to watch it leak out and I'm torn between embarrassment and falling into a cloud of lust. My cheeks are flushing madly as my cock twitches, watching my cock push into him last night on that screen. **

**I can hear him panting from the speaker and I can hear his breath heavy beside me and I feel my nerves start going, my cock twitching. I can't fucking help it, my hand goes to my cock wrapping my fingers around my shaft as I pump myself slowly. **

**"Fucking hell..." I groan softly, glancing over at him and seeing his hand pumping himself and I swallow hard, my stomach folding over. I watch myself fuck him and EVERYTHING comes back to me.**

**Every single feeling, every touch, kiss... fuck. I try not to close my eyes and I buck into my fist, my breathing getting heavier as I see him squirm on the screen, lewd moans coming from his throat. His voice is getting higher and his body is twisting and thrashing about on the bed and I tilt my head slightly, my mouth opening as I hold my breath.**

**In an instant what happens next makes me moan, squeezing my shaft as I pump myself faster, small raspy noises escaping my throat as I watch him blow his load all over my face. I can't even get my head around that. Twice. And the second time I get to fucking SEE it.**

**Watching myself getting covered in cum... fuuck. I choke out a loud moan, pumping myself faster as I feel a sheen of sweat cover my body, my free hand reaching over and swatting his hand away from himself. I grab his shaft and get up on my knees, pumping him in time with myself, my lips instantly seeking his neck. I can't decide what I want more. Him right now or watching us from last night.**

Oh my god, I almost shoot all over him for a third time as he launches himself on top of me, fucking hell, his hand pumping both of us together, fuck that feels dirty…

I groan as his speed increases and he attaches his mouth to my skin, and I don't know where to fucking look now, at my cock in his hand or his cock pulling out of my body, a trail of cum following it as I clenched at the loss. Fuuuucking hell.

My eyes were practically out on stalks, and I'm so fucking hard right now, who'd have thought it huh, Randy fucking Orton solid as a rock from watching himself get fucked… unbelievable.

It was all I could do to force the thought materialising in my brain back down that I wanted to do it again, why I was bothering to try and deny it I have no idea, resistance is futile so they say, and I grabbed Cody's hand from my cock before it was all over too soon.

"I wanna show you…" I growled animalistically in his ear as I flipped him over onto his back, phone forgotten, biting hard into his neck, "I wanna show you what you did to me, how you made me feel…" I licked a strip up his collarbone, relishing the salty taste, "Then I wanna do it all again."

"All of it?"

"All of it. Everything. Every last bit."

He groaned beneath me as I set about worshipping his body, all that smooth tanned skin, gorgeous expanse of toned flesh, and I made my way greedily down the taut muscular torso with gusto, relishing every second, tasting him with my tongue, feeling him writhe at my ministrations, and fuck I loved that, fuck, the way he's reacting is making me feel incredible, those sounds coming from his mouth making me spasm in turn, I must be doing something right if he's reacting like that… and I haven't even reached my intended target yet…

I kneel back on my heels, straddling his thighs, staring down at him stretched out before me, "Fucking hell Cody…" I breathe,

"What?"

"Look at you…" I say, eyes roaming all over his body as if for the first time, "Just look at you…"

I hum in approval as my lips finally close around their goal, surprising myself at the reaction just seeing him like that had on me, waiting for me…

**I squeeze his shaft, hot heavy pants landing on his sweaty skin. I can fucking feel the goosepimples on his skin and the way he reacts, squirming and bucking into my hand. It's so fucking hot that I think I'm about to just fucking pass out.**

**I lick along his skin, kissing down his shoulder as I glanced at the phone in his hand, groaning loudly as I worked him faster, watching my cum slide from his ass. I can feel my cock twitching in my hand, throbbing insanely as I turn onto my side, rutting against his thigh. **

**"Randy... fuck," I growl, gasping when he pushes me flat on my back. I feel my stomach twisting as I lay there, his eyes** **scanning every single inch of my skin, shivering as his tongue slides all over me.**

**He tells me that he wants to show me. Fuck. I feel myself arching up to his mouth and I pause slightly, chewing my lip desperately. His mouth reaches my cock and I let out an almighty growl, my hands instantly going to his head, clutching at his skin as I feel myself buck into his mouth. I can feel myself start to spasm and I gasp, twisting and writhing before I struggle to push him off me.**

**"Wai... fuck Randy... wait a second," I swallow hard, sitting up. I run my hands along his chest before pushing him onto his back, crawling on top of him as I straddle his thighs. "Fucking want you," I grumble, my lips crashing against his as I grind against him furiously.**

**I move down his body, my stomach jolting as I lick and nip along his stomach, breathing heavily as my hand grabs his shaft again, stroking him fast, my own cock throbbing as I take in a breath, closing my eyes. **

**My lips were on him before I had the chance to chicken out again as I slowly raked my tongue up his length, moaning around him. I could taste the salty precum smear across my tongue as I sucked him slowly, pushing my head further down each time. I gripped onto his thighs wondering what the fuck I was so scared of? **

**I moaned softly as I sped up, getting onto my knees as I hunched over him, sucking and licking at his cock. Fuck this was hot. Fucking... fuck.**

**My mind was in overload, my cock was twitching and I just wanted him. I wanted all of him. And FUCK I wanted him inside me. The thought wasn't even scaring me right now because after watching him last night... fuck it couldn't be that fucking bad.**

I was just getting into my stride when he pushed me off, and I chuckled, realising he obviously had the same problem I had, and that turned me on so fucking much. But I'd managed to recover somewhat, not that I had much choice as his mouth latched onto me insistently with a determination I had to give him credit for, I don't quite think he was ready for the instantaneous reaction that elicited from me as I bucked down the back of his throat with no warning whatsoever. I couldn't help it, I didn't know he was going to do that!

Obviously last night's foray got rid of any inhibitions he may have had… and fuck, I wanted him, bad. And if he kept that kind of pace up I wasn't even going to make it past the next few sucks! Not that that would be a bad thing… but I wanted him. I wanted to introduce him to the wonders he showed me last night, I wanted to be inside him.

I watched his face as he seemed to be lost in his own little world, his eyes intent on the task at hand… so to speak… heh.

"Cody…"

It was definitely a shame to interrupt such a stirling performance, but I seriously wasn't going to make it, the warm climes of his throat enticing my orgasm to the surface quicker than I'd be happy admitting out loud.

"Cody… oh my god…" I was panting and literally had to shove him off, almost losing control despite the loss of his hot mouth, "Fuck… c'mere…"

I dragged him back up to claim his mouth in a searing kiss, teeth scraping across his lips, tongue forcing its way in to taste myself… "I'm not ready for this to be over just yet…" I panted into his ear as he pulled back for breath,

"Yeah?" his throaty growl went straight to my groin regardless of my best efforts to think less sexy thoughts, but it was too late for that, my brain was having none of it, filled to the brim with thoughts of him, no room for anything else, I was on fire, everything driving me wild,

"Yeah…" I could barely answer him coherently as I tried to stave off the feeling rising rapidly in my gut, attempting to collect my thoughts, "Fuck yeah…" it was the best I could manage under the circumstances as he straddled my hips and our cocks pressed together hard,

"Fuck me,"

My brain exploded behind my eyes. "Yeah?"

"Show me what I did to you…"

**I feel him buck into my mouth, his cock pushing into my throat and I forced myself not to gag, relaxing my mouth as I sucked him hard. I could hear the moan of disappointment come from my mouth as he pulls me off and I look at him through hooded lids before our lips crashed together, tongues moulding around each other, heavy moans and pants coming from our throats. **

**He tells me he's not ready for this to be over yet and I grin. Neither am I if I'm being honest. I look at him with heavy eyes, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth as I straddled his hips, his cock pressing against mine. The touch sending shockwaves through me and I swallow hard, leaning forward. **

**"Fuck me," I breathe out, my hands wrapping around his shoulders tightly, my nerves slightly setting in. I want to feel it… I want him to show me what I did to him… I want him to do it for me… **

**I lick my lips as I grind against him, shifting so his cock was under me, pressing hard between my cheeks. **

**"I need to feel it... so bad," I breathe, slowly grinding myself down on him. **

**I press my lips hard against his, my nails digging into his skin as I pull him on top of me, my legs wrapped around his waist tightly, groaning as I feel his cock slide** **across my hole. I felt a jolt of need shoot through me and I reached down, squeezing my cock tightly in my hand, waiting for him.**

He's rubbing his ass over my cock and it's driving me wild, I seriously don't know how I'm gonna last much longer, but fuck am I gonna give it a try.

Once again I flip us over, the feel of him in my arms doing insane things to my brain along with the way he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth like that, seductive little fuck. Fuck I love how he does that.

I look at him laying there, a mixture of pure lust, want and need on his face, with a slight hint of mild trepidation perhaps? Possibly the same confliction issues I had last night, the whole '_what the fuck am I doing, I like pussy!_' dilemma… but hey he managed to sway me pretty damn quick, I'm sure I can do the same for him… no, I _know_ I can. I'm going to do everything I can to allay his fears, I want to blow his mind, like he did for me last night… I want to make him scream my name…

I trail my fingers down his chest, my eyes following the path of my hands as I take him all in, he doesn't falter for a second under my scrutiny, cocky little fucker loves it, the attention… and he's got it, all of mine that's for sure, I'm all his.

I'm gonna make him come undone.

I smirk, resting my palms across his tummy, feeling him exhale, and his breath hitches, getting caught somewhere in the back of his throat. I continue to stare at him hungrily, and I lick my lips, I don't even mean to, I guess it just goes to show how much I really want this, it's not an act in the slightest, I'm running on pure instinct. I wanna make him putty in my hands…

But more than that, I wanna make this the best thing that's ever happened to him. No, _I_ want to be the best thing that's ever happened to him. _Me._ Cocky much? Yeah, maybe, but I can't help it.

I mentally shrug, shaking myself out, maybe it's only to myself I've got something to prove, maybe I just don't wanna be the only one to have enjoyed, that… maybe I want us to, to experience, (Enjoy? _Lose_?) this aspect of our masculinity together?

Fuck, I sure as hell don't wanna do it with anyone else.

'_With_'. Not '_to_'.

With.

Fuck who am I trying to kid? _With_ him, _to_ him, regardless, I just want it to be _him_.

_Only_ him.

Fuck I still can't get used to using that word in relation to myself in this context… _him_.

I want Cody to be able to share this with me. What he helped me to experience, I want him to have that same pleasure, that privilege, that he gave to me.

And then I want him to do it all again to me afterwards…


	6. Chapter 6

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 6

Words: 4,261

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

Disclaimer: we own nothing except our insanity...

**Warnings: Language and hardcore m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

...

He's doing the thing with his lip again, it makes my stomach flip when he does that, fuck, I'm gonna come undone before he does if I'm not careful, but I keep my cool, running my hands the length of his thighs, grasping firm handfuls of his ample buttocks and kneading the flesh between my fingers vigorously as I slowly lick teasingly up and down his straining shaft.

I push his legs back, exposing his inner sanctum explicitly as I delve straight in with my tongue. He gasps and pants above me, and I watch him from my vantage point here below in glee as I stretch his tight muscles, taking his cock in one hand and slowly stroking him up and down languidly as I gradually work him open.

**I can't believe this is happening... fuck... Any panic that was setting in a second ago was fast disappearing as his eyes take me in. I watch him looking at me, his eyes scanning every inch of me and I can't help but smirk at him. I lick my lips quickly, closing my eyes as his hands rake across my body, his touch feeling like a blazing fire across me. **

**I tilt my head back as he pushes my legs apart and let out a loud gasp as his tongue is on me. I bite my lip and hold my breath as my eyes fly open, crying out as his tongue delves into me. I can feel myself clenching around him, half frozen to the spot as he stretches me. I think I'm going to lose it as his hand strokes my cock and I growl, gripping the sheets beside me. **

**"Randy..." I warn, heat flooding my face. I feel myself pushing back on his tongue almost desperately my back arching as my hole stretches around him. Fuck that feels... fucking amazing... I can't even think of how to describe that, let alone say it. **

**"Shit," I growl as his hand slips from my cock, holding me open. I can feel his hot breath on me and it sends shivers through my whole body, trembling insanely as I feel a finger brush across me.**

**"Do it... fuck Randy I need to..." I can hear myself begging him, my cock and hole throbbing with need. I hold my legs open wider for him, tilting my head back as I feel his fingertip push into me. "Just... do it," I groan, clenching around him. **

**His finger pushes into me and I growl, tensing for only a second before I feel myself trying to push against him, wanting him deeper inside me. I lick my lips quickly, panting and moaning like a slut, writhing on the sheets as I buck against him. **

**"More..." I growl, tilting my head back. I swallow hard and hold my breath tightly as the pressure inside me gets harder, more persistent and I find myself almost thrashing on the bed, grabbing onto anything I can get my hands on. It's nothing like I ever felt before as his fingers move inside me, stretching me slowly at first.**

**I can feel his other hand at my cock again and it takes everything I have not to cum right fucking then. I had no idea what it was meant to feel like but I had been so fucking sure it wasn't meant to feel this good. I freeze for a second, seeing stars behind my eyes and I gasp loudly, bucking into his hand. **

**"Oh my god..." My body spasmed intensely and I cried out, my voice rising every time a sound came from my throat.**

**"Keep... fuck!" I tried to say as I pushing against his hand, his fingers deep inside me. "Harder... there..." **

**I didn't know what the fuck he was doing but he better keep fucking doing it. Every few seconds he pushed against my walls making me tremble, and cry out, clutching at anything to stop me from… from what I don't know. I was seeing stars, a burning feeling inside me snapping me awake. The feel of his fingers pushing into me like that was sending my brain over the edge, not even able to think straight. **

**So I don't think. I just feel him. I feel his fingers push into me, pressing against me, making me come undone feeling barely touched. I push against him roughly, sweat sticking me to the sheets as his hand pumps me fast. **

**"I'm gonna... Randy fuck!" was all I managed to get out before my back arches completely off the bed, my body thrashing wildly as I clench around him, my entire body on fire as he doesn't stop. His fingers still pounding into me. I'm a fucking mess. I can't even breathe as he finger fucks me and I'm panting and growling as he crawls on top of me, his fingers hooked inside me.**

Just seeing him like that, fucking hell, I couldn't tear my eyes away if I was paid a million bucks, seriously intense. Last night I was way too out of it to notice anything much at all, let alone remember it today, the little things, like the look on his face when he cums, the way he scrunches up his eyes and his fists in the sheets at the same time and his leg seems like it's gearing up to run a marathon… those are the things I'll be taking away from this regardless of whether or not it happens again.

But I hope it does, I can't get enough, seeing him like that…

I'm on him in a flash as I let him calm down, my fingers being clamped violently together from the force of his orgasm, I obviously did something right… but I don't want it to stop there, I can't let it, I want him to have it all.

I devour his mouth ravenously as I wait for his breathing to return to something resembling a somewhat normal level, and pulling back I watch his flushed face showcase an array of emotions. I stroke a finger along his sweaty brow, my other fingers still slowly moving inside of him as he clenches sporadically around them.

"I want to feel you do that around my cock…" I breath into his ear, watching as he stills completely, his eyes still closed as he lets out an enormous breath and nods, eyes opening slowly to meet mine as they grant me his permission, and I cover his lips once more with my own in gratitude. I think I need this more than he does. Little does he know… he'll soon share my insatiable greed. I'm a giver, what can I say?

His hand wraps around my cock, startling me from my musings as it rests solid against my stomach, and guides it down towards my hand still buried inside of him.

"Now?" I'm mildly surprised, I wasn't expecting him as insatiable as me quite so soon…

"You haven't finished…" he whispers, his voice low, husky, filled with need, "C'mon Randy, finish the job…"

Well, I certainly don't need to be told twice. I bat his hand away, taking it and pinning it above his head along with the other, both wrists enclosed in my palm, and I see him writhe, making no attempt to escape, as it were… hm, it seems he enjoys being held down, kinky little fucker, and I oblige, using my body weight to lie along him as I capture his mouth again and slowly ease my way inside his tight body. He groans into my mouth, and I feel his hips buck into me as he tries to encourage me further, but I don't know how alike we are from here on in, does he want it hard? Does he want to feel it all week like I do?

He seems to sense my hesitance and arches up forcefully against my body,

"C'mon then!" he's almost shouting at me, "What the fuck you waiting for? Give it to me!"

I can't help the wry smile as I chuckle into his mouth as I capture his lips once more, seems we're more alike than I was previously aware… and I think to myself, who am I to argue with that, as I slam my way into his body.

**I reach down and take his cock in my hand, panting and moaning softly as I wrap my legs around his waist, our lips crashing together in a bruising kiss. There's nothing soft about it. It's hard, raw, passionate and it's fucking amazing. **

**There's so many things running through my mind and so many more feelings running though my body that I feel like my brain is going to explode.**

**He tells me that he wants me to do that to his cock and I let out a small groan, the thought of it making me stir again already. I tremble under his weight. I bring his cock down and press it against his hand, his fingers still inside my throbbing hole.**

**I lay there as he pins my wrists above my head, my gut twisting. I like this. I love the way he's holding me, pinning me down almost. I can't even breath properly yet, my cum sticking to our chests. I lick my lips slowly, the feeling of his hands around my wrists doing insane things to my brain. **

**I want him so bad that I think it might start to hurt soon. I want to feel him inside me, I want to feel how he did last night, so fucking lost that he didn't care about anything. I want to feel what I felt a few moments ago again because FUCK I'll be damned if that wasn't the most intense orgasm of my entire fucking life.**

**He kisses me and I slink my tongue into his mouth, groaning as his cock starts to push into me. I tighten my legs around him as he moves slowly and I squirm under him. Why is he going so slow? I fucking need this now. Right fucking NOW. **

**I buck up against him, my emotions getting the best of me as I feel myself snap, shouting at him to fuck me, I fucking want it hard, rough and I want everything he has to fucking give me.**

**He chuckles into my mouth and before I even realise it his cock is balls deep inside me and I cry out, seeing white as his cock plunges in, my entire body massively spasming as I clench tightly around him.**

He's so tight around me, I close my eyes and brace myself on my hands for a second as I compose myself. Get a grip Randy, this is all about him, don't ruin it already by shooting NOW for fucks sake. Geez. He's not even hard again yet and already I'm so close.

So I change tack, I kneel up, keeping my cock as still as possible inside him to avoid embarrassment as I take his in hand, coaxing it back to life.

I can tell he's trying to adjust, and as I feel him slowly start to relax, falling back against the mattress, I pump him harder, and thrust steadily forward, gradually building to a driving rhythmic force, hard and fucking fast, barely giving Cody time to breathe let alone relax and regain composure.

I gather I'm hitting the spot I'm aiming for judging by his breathy whimpers, his eyes are rolling back in his head and his cock is already back at full attention in my hand. Not bad considering I've got no idea what I'm doing.

Increasing my speed, I pull his hips up off the bed in an attempt to drive deeper, and he floors me completely by grabbing hold of his ass cheeks and holding them apart below himself.

Oh my fucking fuck, that filthy little fucker.

God he makes me so damn fucking hard. I'm managing to hold off purely by concentration alone, focusing on him, but seeing him do something like that and the way he reacts when I lift his hips, there's only so much I can take. The way he's stretched out in front of me, shiiiiit, those breathy little sounds coming out of his mouth, wanton groans and deep guttural moans, holy fucking hell, it's incredible to watch.

I grab my phone, needing to be able to see him like this forever.

**I try to breathe, gasping as he takes me in his hand. I bit my lip, scrunching my eyes closed as my walls contract around him. The pain feels amazing. There is no other word for it. Just fucking... fuck. He pumps me hard and fast and I find myself bucking into his hand desperately, lewd whines and moans coming from me as his cock starts to push straight into me, deeper and harder with every thrust.**

**"Harder," I pant, his cock sliding against that... that spot inside me again. Fuck I love that. I had no idea what that could feel like... never even really thought about it, let alone wanted to know. Until now. And I want to feel it every single fucking day from now on because wow... **

**I can feel my body shaking as he lifts up my hips and his cock pushes deeper into me. I reach down, grabbing my cheeks and pull them apart, trying to push down onto him more. **

**"Fuck... just... don't stop," I practically beg, "Please... Fuck!" **

**I hear myself begging him and at first that shocks me, then for some reason that alone turns me on. I growl and cry out as his cock slams into my spot again, my cock twitching and throbbing in his hand. I moan his name over and over, my head thrashing about as I lay there, my cheeks spread open wide as his cock pounds into me mercilessly and I love it. I love every single filthy second of it. I love how his cock fills me up, pushing me to my limits to the point where I feel like I'm going to rip open.**

**I want more. More of what I don't know but I just want it. He's driving me insane... every single touch, grope, thrust... everything is making me want to blow all over him. I can barely control any part of me anymore, my entire body his for the taking and I want him to take it. I want him to take everything I have left.**

I stare at him in awe, holding the phone to capture his face, watching him like this is the most incredible sight I've ever seen, knowing I'm the one making him look like that, I'm the one doing it to him, administering the pleasure... Fuck that came out different to how it sounded in my head, I didn't mean, ah fuck it, I know what I meant.

I can barely take it, those noises are making me die, I don't think I'll be able to last much longer… I'm not sure what I like more, watching Cody like this or taking it myself…

Fuck there I go again, sounding like an arrogant prick, but I don't mean to sound big headed, I like making Cody feel like that, knowing how much he blew my mind last night I wanted him to be able to feel that, it was the most intense and insane feeling I've ever felt in my life and I wanted to share it with him…

and now that I am, the way he looks in front of me like this is owning my fucking soul.

I'm dead, in the best possible way, just no longer on this planet, and it looks like Cody's lost somewhere up there too…

I want to make him lose control completely, make him scream my name… the way he's panting it over and over is making my heart pound out of my chest like a jackhammer, and my hips are doing something similar in sync.

Until now I've barely been able to tear my eyes away from his face but a particularly violent clench makes me look down, taking my breath away as I gasp, and as I open my eyes they fall on the place where our bodies join, and I'm transfixed, watching myself slide in and out of the hot, red, raw hole, it's so filthy, so violated, so fucking hot…

Damnit I'm not gonna last, I'm so fucking close, and my eyes are wide and fucking glued, watching him clench and draw me in hard and fast, meeting my thrusts, and I run my finger around the stretched skin, fucking hell Cody, the things you do to me… I'm gonna…

**He's hammering into me and I'm feeling like I'm about to lose every bit of coherency I have left. His cock is just slamming against that spot, stars dancing behind my eyes as I thrash around on the bed, feeling like I'm going to scream. My balls are rock solid, the fact that he's filming me turning me on even more.**

**I want to see his cock ramming into me like this, I NEED to see it. Just thinking of the video we took last night… of me fucking him, oh my god… and now this... I feel like a filthy wanton whore and, dare I say it, I fucking LOVE how that feels.**

**Crying out I grab hold of my cock, bucking wildly into my hand, **

**"Randy please..." I cry out, my back arching, "Oh fuck..." **

**I feel that spring start to unwind and I tremble, my moans and pants getting louder by the second, every nerve in my body buzzing around as my chest and face flushes.**

**"So close... fuck don't stop..." I pant heavily, tugging roughly on my cock as he drives his cock into me, if possible, even fucking harder. **

**"Cum inside me," I growl, my back arching as I practically scream his name, the words rolling from my tongue, my head tilting back, streams of thick cum landing on my stomach and chest, tiny groans escaping my lips.**

**"Want you," I mumble, barely audible, "Need.. fuck.." **

**I can't even understand myself anymore as my body burns, my skin covered in goose pimples as I bring my hands down and somehow find the energy to pull my cheeks apart again, spreading myself as far as I can for him.**

**I want him to see everything, I want him to fuck me like he's never fucked anyone before... I want him to feel as good as I did last night. I close my eyes, gasping for breath, his cock still slamming against my spot as I writhe under him, desperate growls coming from my chest.**

I'm trying to fight my eyes from rolling back in my head as the feeling engulfs me, but I desperately need to see Cody's face, every second, I can't miss a thing.

He's lost, completely let go, as wave after wave crash over him and he's riding it out with complete abandon as his body spasms out of control. His legs are flailing wildly, splayed one minute, slamming together the next as he almost crushes my head between his thighs he's bucking so high off the bed.

I flip both legs over one shoulder as he arches up, his back stretched in a perfect arc like a diver taking flight, before he slams his hips back down against the sheets, legs falling off my shoulder and practically over his own as he almost folds himself in half. It's incredible to see.

I have no idea how I've managed to hold on, I think purely by the fact that I've forgotten to breathe… I'm completely incapable, so intent on drawing Cody's climax from him that I didn't care about my own…

But now the feeling of him clamping down hard around me brings me back to reality and I jackhammer wildly, the way he again holds himself open and whispers my name sending me crashing into oblivion, a feral cry torn from my throat as I feel myself hit the wall, my whole body tensing and stilling as my breath gets stuck and I'm unable to see…

My knees give way and I fall forward onto my hands as my hips lose control and I drive hard, once, twice, three times and I'm there, I'm so fucking there, craning my neck down to see the last remnants of sticky residue shoot into his body, his fingers holding himself apart, dipping inside.

**I'm still heaving as his thrusts become irregular, feeling him grinding into me is making me spasm more than I thought was possible. Fuck I can't... I don't even know what I can't... can't take anymore? I don't know. **

**His face twists, not even a single sound coming from his mouth as he looks down. His face changes instantly and I know he's there. His hips snap inside me, filling me up completely as I slump back on the bed.**

**He falls forward onto me and I hear nothing but his heavy panting and those filthy little noises coming from me, completely lost at what the fuck we just did. I can't move, I can't breathe still, his weight perfect feeling like a hot blanket covering me. **

**My arms are now laying flat on the sheets, stretched out as my chest heaves, my eyes closed as I try to regain my composure but failing miserably. I feel him slip out of me and I groan, slowly opening my eyes. He looks so fucking perfect like this. So... content right where he was, laying on top of me. **

**My arms slink around his shoulders as my mouth seeks his, sliding my tongue against his slowly, my fingers running along his sweat soaked shoulder blades, grabbing at his skin. **

**"Fuck," I barely whisper, my head falling back onto the pillow.**

I can't think. I can't see I can't hear I can't move. I wouldn't know _what_ to think even if I could. I'm just… yeah. No words. Nothing. There's nothing in my brain at all bar the rush of blood to my head, making me feel dizzy, resounding in my ears, pumping in time with my rasping breaths, my heaving chest… the pounding of my own heart against my ribcage drowning out all else, joining the swirling mass orgy of endorphins dancing with the stars behind my eyes.

Did I really just say that? Fuck. But it's true. I'm just describing what I saw.

What I _felt_ on the other hand, well, that's not quite so easy… cos I wasn't feeling… '_nothing_', there was definitely _something_ there, I just… I just didn't know what it was. And I don't think I could've described it anyway even if I did.

As I slowly regain… what? Consciousness? Control? My faculties? Composure? All of the above is probably the most accurate… I slowly become aware of my surroundings and the sensation of smooth fingertips running lightly over my skin, settling around my shoulders, and I look up in awe to meet the questioning blue eyes boring into me, the most intense gaze I've ever seen on Cody's face. I'm instantly overwhelmed with everything, ready to panic, ready to freak out, but the second his mouth meets mine I'm calm. Completely. He's always had that effect on me…

I'm finally coherent enough to realise I'm sprawled all over him, not that he seems to mind, but it's hardly polite, and I heave my exhausted corpse aside, barely able to do much more than reach for the bottle of water and packet of smokes on the bedside table.

**He grabs the bottle of water as he gets off me and I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. Fuck. As soon as his body leaves mine I'm freezing and I reach down, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over us. I turn on my side and lick my lips, taking the bottle when he's done. I take a swig and put it back on the nightstand before flopping back against the pillows, my body still buzzing. **

**I can feel my hole throb but it wasn't sore exactly... more.. uncomfortable? Awkward? I don't know. I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, stifling a yawn against my palm before groaning as I turn over laying on my stomach. **

**"Sleep," I mumble into the pillow, my eyes feeling heavy.**

I mumble something incoherent in response from under my arm, already with much the same idea in mind myself, only, to my utmost horror, for an ear piercing ringing to suddenly crash through my skull with a sledgehammer and start battering my brains.

I'm up like a shot, "What the fuck!"

Yeah, maybe shouldn't have shouted with hindsight there…

I see Cody sitting up too, clamouring across me to retrieve his phone and shutting it off, squinting at the screen.

"Who the fuck calls you at this hour? What the fuck!" I shout again despite my earlier discovery that it was _not_ a good idea, and my head instantly pounds as the hangover hits me rudely with full force. Fucking argh.

I'm staring at him completely aghast that I'm suddenly fully awake, as he in turn stares at his phone, face ashen.

"No one…" he says, "It's no one… it's worse than that…"

What the fuck? "What is it?"

"It's time to get up."


	7. Chapter 7

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 7

Words: 4,914

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

Disclaimer: we own nothing, we make this shit up

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

...

**I stare at the phone for a long few seconds before growling and hanging my legs off the side of the bed, rubbing my face in my hands before standing up and groaning at the ache through my body. I lean over clumsily and grab my pants from the floor where they had been discarded.**

**Thinking now, I can't even remember when I had taken them off. Or did Randy? I try to hide the smirk that seems to have set permanently on my face as I pull them on, yawning deeply.**

**"Um... you coming for breakfast?" I ask, glancing at him, not really able to look him in the eye. I don't know what's happened. About twelve hours ago we were just good friends, just people who loved hanging out with each other. And now... in those few hours we had experienced each other in a whole new way. I had seen and been to places no one else ever had... and loved it. **

**He had easily broken me in. Made me want him. It was too easy. I'm wondering now if there wasn't anything to break into. Maybe it was there for him the whole time.**

**I reach down and grab my shirt, pulling it over my head as I grab the bottle of water again, taking a big gulp.**

"Nooooo!"

I'm staring at him in horror as he gets ready, and roll back over into the quilt and cover my head with the pillow, mumbling in disbelief, "It can't be…"

I refuse to believe it, we only just went to bed for fucks sake! My head won't allow me to get up even if I wanted to. But then he has to go and mention breakfast doesn't he? Fucking damn fucking arghhh, I'm starving.

"Randy, breakfast finishes in 5 minutes…"

What? No way. I'm instantly ravenous…

"Not hungry…" I grumble in a huff. Am I pouting? I'm pouting. My stomach chooses that moment to rumble loudly in protest and I hear the smirk in Cody's voice,

"Bullshit. You're always hungry…"

"Mmmph." I raise an eyebrow at him from under my arm and can't help but smirk back as he chucks me a tshirt and it lands on my face.

"Want me to bring you back something?" he looks at his watch, "Cos we really gotta go…"

"I'm coming…" I groan as my whole body refuses to cooperate, but I force myself up onto my elbows, my head spinning, "Fuck…" and I can barely haul my legs over to the edge.

"How about you meet me down there?" he looks at his watch again, "And uh, well, you know, it's probably not a great idea if we…" he drifts off, looking away from my naked body as I finally make it to my feet.

"Yeah... yeah."

People are gonna be talking regardless, but I don't want to make this moment any more awkward than it has to be,

"You go ahead, save me something?"

And he's out the door before I even finish listing what I want.

But he's right, if we walk in there together… I can't even imagine what the reaction would be…

And I'm really not sure how I feel about that. I mean, fuck, everyone already had their misconceptions long before it was a reality, but it's not like _I've_ had any time to get used to it! And I'm not sure I ever will… cos how the fuck am I s'posed to act now?

I mean, we're gonna be under a microscope as it is and I already know that every move I make around Cody in public is gonna feel awkward and tense. Not because of him, and not because of what we did, not at all, more because I won't know how to act with all eyes upon me, everyone drawing conclusions from a single word between us, a shared glance, an innocent touch, much like I discovered last night after everything John said.

Last night, is it really only that recent? Fuck, it feels like I've lived a lifetime since then...

But yeah, it's already been happening for months, so I can only imagine that this morning is going to be the final proof everybody expected all along.

And I know that's going to be hard, especially for Cody. People are gonna be thinking he's some kind of bad guy, cheating on his woman for fuck knows how long… he doesn't deserve that. I'm not gonna act any different, not intentionally anyway… although I might have a hard time keeping my hands to myself when I'm around him from now on…

Ha, nothing new there then apparently.

**I see him pout as I get ready, shoving my feet into a pair of shoes before pulling on a hoodie. I glance in the mirror and rub my eyes, not bothering to gel my hair. I bite my lip and lean over, catching his lips in a fast kiss before leaving the room and shutting the door. As soon as it closes my stomach jumps into my throat. Now or never... **

**I take in a breath as I walk down the hall towards the elevator, pressing the button and swallowing hard, my nerves getting to me so much that my hands are actually shaking. **

**I know that everyone is going to be down there. And I know everyone is going to be talking. Not that I care that they're going to be talking. It's more the fact that they're going to be talking when I'm right there. About me. About me and Randy. I mean, fucking hell, until last night we had done nothing wrong. **

**Not to sound like I think what we did was wrong last night because I don't. But in their eyes it's wrong. Because they believe it's been happening for months.**

**I get into the elevator and lean against the wall, fidgeting with the sleeve of my jumper and I hold my breath as the doors open. I don't know what I'm so fucking scared of. I should be used to people talking about me. They've done it for years. I guess it was just that... I dunno, the fact that they're totally and utterly wrong this time.**

**Walking past the lobby and into the restaurant, I take a swift glace around as I make my way over to get some food. And I'm not even fucking joking, the place just went silent. My stomach drops and I stare at the floor as I walk over, grabbing some food, getting a coffee, taking the time to really look at everyone sitting around. **

**People were casting weird glances at me and are talking in hushed voices. I grab my plate and make my way over to sit at a table, practically shovelling the food down my throat, and as I look up, I catch a glimpse of Beth at the door of the restaurant with Phil, he's holding her arm and she looks directly at me, a foul look on her face.**

My head is fucking throbbing. I stare around the room after Cody goes and it feels weird without him. Then I remember what I'm looking for in the first place, so instead of standing there naked like a Michelangelo statue expecting it to materialise out of thin air, I head into the bathroom for some pain meds.

I slowly attempt to kick start my ass into gear, having to remind my legs how to walk and my brain how to operate. I'm definitely not functioning at full speed. My head is thick with post alcohol fug, and filled with flashbacks and too many thoughts, not to mention images of the kind to make most men blush…

And my body, fuck, my body feels like the morning after Hell in a Cell, I'm battered and abused, aching everywhere and in desperate need of sleep. Man, I fucking _hurt_.

Splashing my face generously, I balance precariously against the sink in the bathroom, the cool water doing nothing to clear the cobwebs in my mind. I wonder how Cody's faring down there, and that thought alone is enough to get me moving.

I hope he hasn't had to encounter _her _yet, and at that it instantly springs to mind that her and that fucker Phil were spending the night next door…

I groan inwardly, shit… but I can't suppress the genuine grin breaking out all over my face as I wonder what they might've had to endure hearing through the hotel room walls…

I'm still grinning as I look in the mirror one last time, I look like fucking shit, but I suddenly feel fantastic. Grabbing my key and my phone I saunter through the door, unable to hide the definite swagger in my step, I wonder what people will make of that…

I'm still guffawing to myself as I walk out the elevator, the curious glances from my colleagues not going unnoticed, just ignored.

"Fuck off John."

I don't even give him a chance to open his mouth as he passes me on the way to the gym, was I supposed to meet him there… I can't remember… and I don't care.

My eyes have landed on the most forlorn sight I've ever seen as I walk through the door, aw fuck, he's sitting there all shoulders hunched and shovelling food in his mouth like it's his last request. I wasn't sure whether we should sit together or not but my mind was made up the second I looked at him. And he definitely looked grateful as I sank uncomfortably down in the chair across from him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"You took your sweet fucking time."

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to join you…" His eyes flicked up at me for the first time and I definitely saw a flicker of relief, "That and I had to make myself beautiful…"

His smirk was infectious even though he tried to hide it, "It didn't work, you look like shit."

"Gee thanks!" I feigned hurt, "It's all your fault for wearing me out," I said it so low the air barely heard it but I know he caught it, his cheeks flushing as he looked back down,

"And anyway, of course I wanted you to join me you dick, cos I don't think I've got any friends anymore…"

He trailed off, and I chanced a glance around the room, fully aware of the situation surrounding us, hoping it really wasn't as bad as he made out, but the fact he was sitting here alone told me otherwise.

**I feel this weird sort of relief wash over me when I saw Randy walk into the restaurant. What the fuck took him so long? I finish my food slowly, grabbing my coffee. I feel so much fucking better now that I'm not sitting alone and I relax back into my seat a little, the events of last night and this morning registering in my brain.**

**It feels weird. I have a few things running through my head right now and I can't even pick one out to think about or hang onto. The fact that Beth was fucking Punk yesterday literally straight after she broke up with me... it didn't sit right at all. And to be honest, I'm pretty pissed over it. I can't really say very much though because as soon as the opportunity came about, I was fucking Randy.**

**That opportunity just happened to come around very very quickly after that… **

**And then there's Randy... fuck I don't know what the fuck to think about this whole situation. I've never felt more alive in my entire fucking life than I did last night and this morning. Fuck... **

**and I didn't want it to stop there. Now that's something that terrified me. Did I want more with him? Hell yes I fucking did. Did he? I don't know.**

**I finished my coffee, stifling a yawn and rubbing my tired eyes, **

**"Just getting some more coffee," I mumble, making my way back over to the buffet, but out of the corner of my eye I can see Beth get up from her seat and I freeze to the spot as she stops dead in front of me, a sour look plastered on her face.**

**"What?" I ask, pouring out a mug of coffee, a sick feeling settling into the pit of my stomach. I can see everyone staring at us, the room suddenly deathly silent.**

**She let out a shrill laugh, almost hysterical and definitely with a hint of the crazy in her eyes.**

"**You mean you even have to ask?" Her voice shows not even a slight attempt at consideration for my delicate hangover head and I want to wince, but I just regarded her calmly over the rim of my mug, taking a sip, the liquid far too hot but still preferable to just standing there awkwardly taking her verbal beat down like a naughty child. I folded my arms across my chest and rolled my eyes, letting out an indignant huff of frustration, even though my hands were actually close to shaking.**

"**What do you want?" Wow I sounded really bored, nice one.**

"**I **_**heard**_** you! Thankyou for proving me right all along! Cos you can't deny it now! I heard everything! Everything! **_**Everything**_** Cody!" She at least had the decency to lower her tone from piercing shriek to screaming banshee this time, I almost felt like a cartoon character getting a puff of wind in their face and their hair blowing back when someone shouts at them…**

**I shrugged, "So? Just proves I was having a better night than you were if you had the time to pay attention! Cos I sure as hell didn't hear a single peep outta you two through that wall. Not that I had time to listen, or care." I snorted into my mug as I took another swig, "He's welcome to you." **

"**What did you say?" Ooh, suddenly her voice reached decibels acceptable in polite society.**

"**You heard. What, you think I didn't know?"**

"**Well, well… what did you expect!"**

"**I expected you not to cheat on me Beth!"**

"**Oh you're one to talk! All night you kept me awake Cody! All god damned night!"**

"**I can tell, you look like shit."**

"**How dare you Cody! This is how you treat me huh?"**

"**How I treat YOU? Beth all I ever did was love you. I've done nothing wrong!"**

"**Nothing wrong? Pfft! Don't give me that shit, after everything I heard last night I think th…" **

"**You lost all right to give a fuck about anything I do the second you broke up with me Beth! In fact before! Since the moment you started fucking around behind my back!"**

"**Ha! How can you say that when you were doing the exact same thing?"**

"**So you admit it? Thankyou. And for the record, I was doing nothing of the sort." **

**Ha, that shut her up, she just stood there spluttering for a minute, and although my heart clenched, wondering how long they'd been making a fool of me, I felt a sense of satisfaction that I could now rub my innocence in her fucking face, **

"**Well I hope you're happy, I hope you're satisfied Beth, 'cos not once did I ever, EVER cheat on you."**

"**But I thought that…"**

"**You can think what you like, justify yourself any way you like, doesn't change the fact that you were wrong."**

**She just stared at me, her face contorted in an ugly scowl of realisation, or was it disbelief? I wasn't sure. Whatever. I'm done here. **

"**Beth, I don't really think we have anything left to say to each other, do you?" I gave her a nasty look, and swigging the last of my coffee, I handed her the mug, (I have no idea why, it just felt right,) then turned abruptly and left as fast as I fucking could.**

**As I walked through the restaurant, all eyes stuck on me, I felt nothing but pure frustration and panic coursing through me after the ridiculously public confrontation. I stormed out into the lobby and pulled my hood up, shoving my hands into my pockets, needing to get the fuck out of there, just leaving the hotel completely. I walk around the side, lighting up a cigarette with shaking hands. **

**I feel like freaking out. And I don't know why. I fucking HATE that she did that to me because I NEVER did anything wrong. Not to fucking her. I feel this weird pain in my chest as I lean against the wall, the realisation of the fact that she had been cheating on me hitting me like a brick. **

**How fucking long was that going on? Why? I close my eyes and take a long shaky drag, banging the back of my head against the stone wall softly. What the fuck did I ever do to her to make her do that? Two fucking years. **

**I growl and finish my smoke, rubbing my face in my hands and now I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. **

**I stand in the alley for a good five minutes before deciding I need a shower. I need a shower and then I need to go work out or... or something to get my mind off everything. Fucking bitch, how fucking DARE she do this me.**

**I'm clenching my teeth as I go into the lobby, pausing for a second as I pass the restaurant. Randy. Fucking hell. **

**Going over to the entrance, I'm trying my damndest to be invisible and ignore the stares and the hushed excited whispers of gossip running through the room. **

**I look over at Randy and lock eyes with him, arching an eyebrow, silently asking him to come with me. I make my way towards the elevator without waiting for a response, hoping he got the message.**

Oh my fucking lord, what the fuck just happened right there? I whistle lowly as Cody swiftly exits the building, his face unreadable, shaking my head as I realise all eyes have now turned towards me for the next chapter. But they're not getting any more action from me, Cody did well enough on his own, and she fucking deserved it. How dare she set out to humiliate him like that in front of everyone? Everyone dammit, all our friends, colleagues… Shit. I can only imagine what he's feeling right now… maybe I should go after him?

But that's probably what everyone's expecting me to do… I realise I've still got my fork poised half way to my mouth with a pile of cold eggs and start shovelling it down again, turning the page of the newspaper disinterestedly as if I haven't just witnessed the best beat down in the history of bust ups.

Watching Cody cut Beth down to size, that was some pretty epic shizz, I couldn't hear everything he was saying but I sure as hell could hear her, fuck, the whole county could hear her, that bitch, and I could tell by her face that whatever Cody was saying was hitting the mark.

He was acting pretty cool, but I can bet he's pretty shaken up right now, it's not every day you find out your so called girlfriend of the last two years has been doing the dirty behind your back with one of your supposed friends.

And for how long? Man I could smack that smug fucker in the face right about now. I watch them leave together, him playing the whole attentive sweetheart, but he's not fooling anyone, we all know he's a dog.

They go stand at the elevator and I hope to hell Cody doesn't reappear out of nowhere for round two in the lobby, but the doors ping and they're gone, and I wolf the rest of my plate down and lean back, considering my options.

But just as I decide to go try find him, he's there at the door, his face expressionless, but his eyes telling a whole different story. I can feel rather than see everyone's eyes turn to me, all waiting with baited breath for my response as he raises his eyebrow in my direction and disappears. I hear the collective intake of breath from every occupant of the room as I take my leave, ignoring them completely, the simmer of low voices starting up again as I follow him out.

A large hand lands on my shoulder as we stand waiting in quiet solidarity for the elevator, "Not now John!" I bark as it arrives, the doors finally removing him from my sight.

**I wait at the elevator and I take in a small breath as I see Randy come out of the restaurant and look around, a feeling of relief that I wasn't expecting washing over me when he stands at my side. We say nothing. I'm not sure there is much to say. I know he heard what was said in there and if I'm being honest, I don't particularly want to talk about that. I don't really want to talk at all.**

**I see John coming up behind us and I feel myself cringing away. I really couldn't handle him right now. I think I'd rather deal with Beth again than talk to him. Thankfully, I don't have to. He slaps a hand on Randy's shoulder and Randy snaps at him. I think even HE knows that now isn't the time to fuck around.**

**I feel so tense as we leave the elevator and I can't shake it. I watch as he slots his card in the door and we both go into the room, the smell of alcohol, sweat and sex filling my nose straight away. Part of me wants to run and open the window but most of me wants to just sit and stew in it. The memory of last night and this morning burned into my mind forever. And for some reason it puts me at ease.**

**Glancing over at Randy, I sit on the bed and run my fingers through my hair. **

**"That was fucking intense," I mutter, pulling my hoodie off and dropping it on the floor, kicking my shoes on top of it and settling back on the bed, rubbing my eyes. **

**"Why the fuck did she do that?" I growl, "Fucking drama queen." **

**I lick my lips quickly and grab the half empty bottle of water from the night stand and take a gulp, sighing heavily. I want him to come and lay down with me. But he's just sort of standing there. I don't know what he's thinking and I'm not really sure I want to know. **

**I can only imagine how tense it was after I left and I don't even want to know what everyone is saying now that he followed me. And fuck. She just HAD to scream at me about us fucking last night. **

**There's nothing I can do about it now though. I'll just have to deal with it. And so will he. I lay back and try to get myself comfortable on the bed, wanting to wrap around him for some reason. Just some sort of fucking comfort. Yeah I sound like a chick right now but I don't fucking care.**

I look at him there as he slumps back on the bed, all pretence gone, no longer needing to put on a brave face, and he practically crumbles before my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I just mean, like I guess he feels he can be himself with me, cos he knows I know anyway, how he's feeling, it's pointless trying to hide it. Especially when I'm just staring at him this intently…

I shake my head as I realise what I'm doing, I didn't mean to make him uncomfortable, he'd had enough of that out there, I was just thinking… just wondering what to do next, where do we go from here… cos if he thinks he's alone in this he's wrong.

It wasn't until I noticed he wasn't looking at me at all, anywhere_ but_ me, that I realised he was faltering under my scrutiny. But I wasn't scrutinising him, I maybe still had the viper face on I'd been directing at all and sundry downstairs but it definitely wasn't intended for him.

I make my way over, picking up my smokes from where'd they'd fallen from my shorts at some point last night, whacking the bottom against my palm to settle the tobacco as I continued to think.

Reaching for his lighter on the bedside table, I swing it open, flicking a smoke into my mouth and lighting it behind my hand, breathing deeply as I nudge him over on the bed, removing the water bottle with my spare hand as I place one between his lips too. He accepts gratefully, watching me.

I haven't said a word since we've been back in the room, just leaving him be, not expecting anything from him, no answers, no explanations, just being there with him in case he needs me. And even if he doesn't, I'm still here. I'm watching him in return, his zippo going out in my hand and refusing to reignite, so I lean forward, cupping his cheek gently as I light his smoke from the end of mine.

I leave my hand there, where I usually do, in its usual place at the side of his neck, stroking my thumb over his cheek bone like I always do as we quietly smoke. I swear he leans into my palm, and I hear him sigh, in relief? Frustration? Worry? I dunno. So I heave myself back against the pillows next to him and slide my arm around his back instead, pulling him in, holding him close.

**He takes the bottle from my hand and I look up at him, smiling a little as he lights up my smoke with his own. I take a drag and close my eyes as his thumb stroked my neck, sending shivers through me. **

**"This is fucked," I mumble as he pulls me in and I wrap an arm loosely across his middle, taking a drag from my smoke.**

**I watch it circle around, floating up to the ceiling as we lay there in silence, a weird sort of tension consuming me. I finish my smoke and stab it out in the ashtray on the locker before letting out a heavy sigh, automatically curling around him.**

**"You ok?" I ask, frowning a little. He hasn't said anything. Nothing at all since before that fiasco in the restaurant. I dont even know how he was feeling about what happened last night and this morning. But I'm glad he's here so that has to be a good sign right? At least I know he doesn't hate me. **

**I feel my eyes grow heavy and I try not to yawn, shifting down so my head is laying gently on his chest, closing my eyes as I feel his heart beating in my ear.**

He's right, everything really is fucked. It's not so much me I'm worried about, not meaning that Cody needs me to worry about him, he can do enough of that for himself I'm sure, I just mean that I don't give a fuck what people say about me.

But he's just had his heart completely destroyed and been publically humiliated in front of all his friends and colleagues, most of whom still probably don't know the truth and won't bother to find out, will just carry on believing the hype for the sake of a scandal. I can't help but wonder what's going to happen now… but I'll cross that bridge when we come to it, no use dwelling on shit before it's even happened.

What's important is right here right now, and all I do know, is that what happened between us here is something that I'm not willing to give up on without a fight. A piece of me has changed forever because of last night, because of him. I have no idea if it's ever going to happen again, but regardless, he's got me. He owns me. I'm not going anywhere.

I nod into his hair as he asks if I'm okay, I guess I'm not really giving him much to go on, I just don't really know what to say. There's a lot I _could_ say, a lot I want to, but now's really not the time for words.

I give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze just to make sure he knows we're good, him and I, and we are. I know we are, and I need to make sure he knows it too.

Pulling him in closer, I circle my arms around him as he drifts off to sleep, placing a chaste kiss on the top of his head and resting it against my cheek as I sigh, hoping for some shut eye myself. We really should be checking out right about now, but fuck it, some things are more important than schedules and this is one of them right here.


	8. Chapter 8

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 8

Words: 5,562

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Disclaimer: we own nothing, no monies are being made

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**... **

I'm not sure how long I'd been asleep when I was rudely awakened by an insistent buzzing somewhere at the top of my leg, and as I disentangled myself from Cody and fished out my phone, I could've killed John with thoughts alone as I saw his name flashing down there on the screen. That fucking bastard!

Thank fuck it was on silent at least, I guess it only woke me up cos there's literally 18 missed calls from him on there.

Sighing heavily, I rake a hand over my newly shaved skull and look down at Cody lying there peacefully. He looks shattered. Can't blame him for that. And I can't help my eyes trailing over his body as he shifts slightly in his sleep, and come on, you can't blame _me_ for that…

I watch him stretching out a little and moaning as he stirred, my mind casting back to all the things we did to each other here in this bed…

Moaning a little myself, I reluctantly drag myself away, allowing my eyes one last glance over his sleeping form before I stand. There's no way I can sleep now, I have to do _something_, anything to stop my mind's attempts at convincing me to ravish him in his sleep.

Shower. For starters at least. A cold one. Can't be seen walking through the hotel with _this_…

And then gym. Sounds like a plan.

I'm literally just opening the door to leave 20minutes later when John practically falls through it as I pull it towards me,

"What the fuck?"

He stands there shrugging all pretend sheepish at my growled reprimand but the appearance of those fucking dimples don't fool me one bit. I scowl at him, quickly turning around to make sure I didn't wake Cody. John peers past me with interest as he stirs, stretching out on the bed but remaining fast asleep.

John's looking at me expectantly, all goofy grin like he's assuming I'll invite him in, looking between me and Cody a few times, then folds his arms across his chest and gives me a _look_. A look I wanna smack right off his face. I'm not fucking happy with him right now. Some friend he turned out to be, fucker.

"Hey!"

He says it all cheerily as if nothing's happened, as if he thinks I don't know he was fucking there with his ear to the door trying to fucking snoop.

"Shut the fuck up!" I hiss, nodding back towards Cody as I grab John's arm roughly and march him back out before letting go and heading to the elevator ahead of him.

"Aw, don't be like that man! We were meant to work out like two hours ago! You stood me up!"

I just glare silently at him as I watch the little red lights above the doors make their way to our floor.

"I've been trying to call you," he slaps me on the shoulder, looking at his watch then back at me, "For like 3 hours man,"

So fucking what? I didn't answer for 3 fucking hours, shouldn't that have told him something? Doesn't the fucker know when to take a hint and shut up and fuck off?

I'm still glaring at him as the doors open and he springs inside, acting all enthusiastic, big toothy grin in place, I can't believe he's acting like this. What the fuck is he even doing here anyway? The rest of the roster should've checked out and moved on by now…

I'm still watching him as the doors start to close, me on one side, him on the other,

"Will you hurry up you sack of shit!" he calls at me, and I stand there a second longer, a frown of confusion finally appearing on his face as I turn away and head towards the stairs. It's 23 floors down, and that's by far my preferred option.

I walk through the swing doors and he's already in there, just like I knew he would be, setting up his weights. I drop my water bottle on the floor, and begin to stretch, completely ignoring him.

"So, what's happening?"

I can't believe he's still attempting to talk to me. I just raise my eyebrow, shaking my head slightly as I let out an incredulous huff of annoyance and disbelief, eyes fixed firmly to my phone. Then both my eyebrows raise in alarm as my phone flickers to life and the image on the screen makes my groin lurch instantly. Fuuuuucking hell. I shove it back in my pocket, set to shuffle, headphones firmly in place. But I can still hear him,

"So, did you guys really fuck all night?"

Whaaaat? Oh my god I'm gonna kill him. I actually looked up at him in shock that time at his pure gall, the nerve of him! And he's still not done,

"Cos Beth is like, fucking furious, telling everyone that you guys kept her awake all fucking night, fucking!"

He's smirking, I can hear it in his voice, and I wanna wipe those fucking dimples off with the back of my hand as he continues,

"Can't say I blame ya an' all though, what with her and Phil at it for what, a year now? At least!" he chuckles like it's some fucking joke and I stare at him in total disbelief, what the fuck? A fucking year!

"Yeah can't really blame Codester for wanting to get back at her, cos that IS what you guys were doing, right? You knew she was next door and were just winding her up, right?"

His head is slightly tilted to the side as he looks at me quizzically, waiting for a response, and he seems to realise he's hit a nerve, fucking finally.

"You DID know that, right?"

I'm sure my silence is answer enough.

He stares at me for a minute more, unable to hide his surprise, then laughs uproariously as if it's the funniest thing in the world! That fucker! What the fucking fuck.

Poor Cody… I instantly just want to go to him, see if he's okay, but he doesn't know, yet… or does he? Maybe he knew all along? Had his suspicions? He never said anything…

Deep in thought, and still completely ignoring John, I take my sweatshirt off and head over to the machines, oblivious to him following me until he rips out my headphones in fits of hysteria,

"Fucking hell! Oh god Randy!" he snorts, "It's fucking true! Isn't it?"

I still ignore him, taking the earpiece back and returning it to my ear, shooting him a dirty look for good measure as he's slapping his thighs and investigating my back like he's never seen it before, what the fuck?

"Is that a BITE?"

He's positively in raptures with his eyes all wide and his mouth open as he points out various things on my skin, fuck, just the thought that Cody had marked me like that, visible, just like I'd begged him to, fucking hell… my groin and my stomach lurch simultaneously at the hazy memory, oh man…

"Fuuuuck Randy! Geez, what'd he DO to you? Looks like you got yourself a little hellcat there don't it?"

I hadn't reckoned on anyone, least of all John seeing any of this, in fact, I'd forgotten there'd be anything visible for him to pick up on… no way I'd have taken my shirt off if I'd realised in time.

"Is that cum?"

He's pointing at my stomach now and I really just wanna punch him in the face and be done with it as I slip my shirt back on, still looking at my phone as I pull it out when it goes off in my pocket.

"So… I want details man…"

But I don't even let him finish his sentence before I'm up and out the door, literally ready to blow a gasket.

**I wake up slowly, feeling like I need to peel my eyes open. I groan and turn on my side, staring at the wall. I sit up on my elbows and look around, finding an empty room. Where is he? I sigh and sit up, stretching my arms out as I get up from the bed.**

**"Shower," I mumble to myself as I walk into the bathroom and turn on the water. Slowly getting undressed, I step under the steady stream, groaning contentedly as the water starts to ease my tense sore muscles. But they were sore for a different reason than usual, and I find myself smiling a little as I lean against the wall, a weird sort of comfort coming over me.  
>I want him. I know that much. I wonder where he is... He's probably gone to the gym or something, not even for a second allowing myself to think that he's <strong>_**gone**_**. I mean, if there was a such a problem then he wouldn't have fucked me this morning... he wouldn't have come with me back up here, right?  
>I wash myself slowly, not able to stop myself from snorting as I washing away the obvious dried in cum on my stomach and chest. Fuck, I went to breakfast like that. Wonder if Beth could smell the sex from me? Fucking hope she could, that bitch. I'm still reeling over what happened this morning but I'm trying my damndest not to let it show. <strong>

**I step out of the shower and dry myself off, pulling on a pair of sweatpants. I light up a smoke as I grab my xbox from my suitcase and set it up, getting ready to completely waste the day away holed up here alone. Unless Randy comes back soon. Then... I dunno. Does he want me again? Because fucking hell, even though I can still totally feel his cock ramming into me like that when I move a certain way… I want more. I want more of him.  
>I bite my lip and feel myself stir, holding my breath tightly as I sit up on the bed. I think back to everything we did, every touch and scrape... and FUCK his kisses. They're like some sort of fucking explosion going on inside my mouth. I lick my lips out of instinct and I grab my phone suddenly, flicking through my videos. <strong>

**"Prick," I moan, growling. He has them on his fucking phone.  
>I frown and send him a message. <strong>

*****_**prick send me those videos***_** I send it and sit back, my cock twitching.**

**Not a second after I send him the text I receive the videos and I smirk to myself, my cock twitching insanely as I lay back. I palm myself through my sweatpants gently, moaning softly, as I find the second one where he's fucking me. I haven't seen this yet and fuck I need it. **

**I think back to watching the video with Randy under me, taking my cock hard and rough and fuck it's almost enough to make me explode. That image of him arching and moaning desperately, his face a picture of bliss… Fuck. I lick my lips as I press play and instantly my breath hitches somewhere in my throat. **

**The scene in front of my eyes is lust. There aren't any words to describe how I'm feeling as I see myself sprawled out on the bed, legs spread like a fucking whore, my face twisted in pure fucking ecstasy as I arch up, grabbing the sheets around me. The sound of my moans and pants coming from the speaker are sending shivers through my entire body and I can hear Randy too and it just makes me more fucking flustered. I can feel the flush creeping through me as I pull off my tee-shirt and swallow hard.**

**I pause it and sit up quickly, shoving my trousers from me along with my underwear. Throwing them somewhere on the floor and I get back on the bed, sprawling out. I have time. Randy always spends HOURS in the gym and it's not that late yet. I glance at the door before back at the phone and pressing play.**

**The angle changes as the screen moves down my body and I start panting heavily, my cock throbbing, begging for attention. I watch his cock sliding into me. Me. Randy fucking Orton is fucking me. His cock moving faster, pounding into me and I fucking swear I can feel it right now almost as much as I could this morning. I can feel how it filled me up and I'm clenching already, my breathing shallow.**

**I swear my hole is throbbing, almost aching, needing to feel that amazing burn again. I need it right fucking now or I think I'm going explode. I lick my lips slowly, bringing my hand down to my cock and wrapping my fingers around my shaft. I grunt quietly as I pump myself slowly, my eyes never leaving the screen. I watch as I open my legs even more, watching myself on full display as he pounds into me.**

**Fuck, he saw this. He saw all of it. That though sent a shiver through me. Just that image of his cock slamming into me was enough to make my head tilt back and let out a loud groan as I squeezed my cock, dropping the phone on the mattress, still playing. **

**I arch up, my hand moving faster as I groan, bringing my other hand to cup my balls. I tug on my cock roughly, thrusting into my hand, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. I can feel my entrance contract, clenching desperately. I growl, closing my eyes tightly as I lick my lips and swallow hard, not sure if I dare. But even though I have my doubts I find my legs spreading wide and my hand moving lower. **

**I press two fingers against myself, gasping at the jolt of pleasure shooting through me. I push both fingers in slowly, gasping and closing my eyes tightly. It feels so fucking tight around my fingers and I can't get deep enough. I pull them out and bite my lip before bringing my fingers to my mouth, sucking them in and running my tongue around. I pump myself faster as I suck on my fingers, the image of Randy's cock in my mouth instantly behind my eyes. Shit. **

**I close my eyes as I shift my hips up, pushing my slick fingers back in, panting heavily as they slip in deeper. "Fuck," I groan, tilting my head back as I push them in and out slowly, stretching myself as much as I can. I twist them, hooking them inside myself, writhing and arching on the bed because fuck it feels good. So fucking good. **

**I rock against my hand, desperately trying to get deeper, move faster. I find myself on my knees, chest pressed against the mattress as I fuck myself faster, my fingers sliding in to my knuckles. I spread my fingers, dirty moans coming from my throat. It's not enough. I buck against my fingers, pumping myself fast and rough, pleasure shooting through me, every nerve in my body going wild. I close my eyes tightly, thinking of what Randy did to me this morning was making my head spin. **

**Fuck that man was just... fuck he was amazing. His cock felt so fucking good inside me and I want to feel that again right fucking now. Fuck I need it so bad. I push my fingers into myself roughly, growling and panting against my pillow, tiny filthy pants and grunts coming from my mouth. **

**"Randy," I breathe, hoarsely, crying out as my fingers brush against that fucking beautiful spot inside me. I see white and roll my hips back as much as I can. I do it again and my body trembles with pure fucking need as I cry out again and again, tugging my cock hard as I see starts in front of my eyes. **

**I need him again. I need him now. I growl desperately, burying my face in the pillow as I cry out, starting to push a third finger inside myself. **

**"Randy," I pant his name, fucking myself harder. I can feel myself getting closer by the second, bucking and writhing against my hand. "More," I barely breathe, my body buzzing as clench tightly around my fingers. More. I fucking need more.**

I hit send, the videos on their way, and stared at the screen for a few moments longer… it wasn't intentional hesitating, I wasn't questioning myself about whether or not to give him some alone time, no, I was just completely incapable of any form of brain functionality, including movement. Whether that was a surreptitious invitation or a mere curious request, I wanted to get right back up there and re-enact it all with him! Do not pass go do not collect $200, you know what I'm saying? I mean he wouldn't have so blatantly asked for them if, well you know… well okay so maybe it wasn't a direct invitation, but surely he'd have known what even asking me that would do to me, right?

Cos as soon as I saw Cody's words on that text my cock sprang instantly to life, fuuuuuuck me, was he gonna… shit, the thought of him up there alone watching those videos… alone, watching… alone… on the bed… naked… alone… Oh my god.

My brain actually stopped working and my mind was just filled with visions of what I might find when I got back up there. Should I go back up… well yes of course I should, and I would, right the fuck now, if it wasn't for this raging boner declaring its existence to the entire world. I groaned as I sat there frozen on the rowing machine, the throbbing in my cock emanating throughout my entire body. Oh fuck I had to get back up there NOW. Fuck it.

I was vaguely aware of John babbling on at me from somewhere to my left, but I just got up as if he wasn't even there and practically sprinted from the gym, oblivious to all and sundry in my extreme haste, my only concern keeping my towel inconspicuously in front of my cock and getting to Cody to make good use of it.

I all but skidded to a halt in front of the door, hesitating for the briefest second, my stomach doing cartwheels, my head spinning, then had a slight moment of panic after fumbling in my pockets for ages when I thought I'd lost my keycard and would have to knock for him to let me in. Yeah, way to go Orton, way to ruin the fantasy. Turns out my overenthusiastic fingers just failed to locate it, every single time, it hadn't moved, I was just fucking useless. Told you I was incapable.

I was so consumed with lust that I just burst in, no consideration for the consequences, and fuck me if I wasn't met with the most mind blowing sight it was even possible to conjure up in your wildest imaginings.

It was like an invitation, a red rag to a bull, I had no control over my body, I cannot be held responsible for my actions, for what happened next.

I was over there in a shot, my cock in my hand, not even taking the time to bother discarding my tracksuit bottoms, I had no time for such trivialities. I was feral, tunnel vision, seeing one thing and one thing only, my eyes trained on his ass as it waved around in the air in front of me, fingers lewdly probing himself. Oh my fucking fuck.

It was the way he moaned my name that did it, the clencher. I was kneeling on the end of the bed and lined up behind him, grabbing him around the waist, batting his own hands away and filling him up in an almost single fluid motion. His exhilarated cry as I bit into his neck tore through the air and set me on fire, my hips with a mind of their own as he clenched around me almost instantaneously, the involuntary action coupled with a chorus of filthy utterings of my name causing me to lose control in record time.

It was over in seconds, and it was the best fuck I've ever had.

**I just about hear the door open and my heart almost explodes in my chest when I feel his hand shove my fingers from my body. I don't even have to look around to know it's him. I can fucking hear his breathing heavy behind me and fuck I'm so close it hurts. I don't even have time to register that he just walked in on me getting off, ass in the fucking air, moaning his name like a fucking whore.**

**His cock fills me so fucking fast I completely lose my breath, my body trembling at the sudden assault. He feels so much better than doing it myself. I need this so bad. He starts pounding into me, driving me forward so hard I nearly lose balance. I grab the headboard with both my hands, my chest practically pressed against the wall as his hands grip my hips tightly. **

**I feel his teeth sink into my neck and now I'm making noises I didn't even know I could. His name falling from my lips so easily as I claw against the wood, my head tilted back. I can fucking hear my heart beating so hard in my ears as I tug on my cock roughly. At this stage he doesn't even need to hit that spot inside me, I'm so fucking gone already it's incredible.**

**The way his breath hits the back of neck is sending shivers through my entire body, his nails digging into my skin so much, I'm sure that I'm bleeding. And I fucking WANT that. I growl loudly, squeezing my cock tightly as I clench desperately around him, my orgasm so close it hurts. "Randy," I moan, pushing back against his cock hard, "Fuck..."**

**My body spasms, every single nerve going fucking wild as I buck and arch on my knees, scratching frantically at the headboard as I come undone. It didn't take long. I don't care. I slump forward, my cheek pressed against the wall as I pant heavily, my body buzzing as he fills me up, a long guttural moan falling from his lips. **

**He slips out slowly and I lean back on my calves, moaning still, the feeling of his cock still inside me as my hole throbs. I can feel his release leaking from me, down my cheek and onto the sheets and right now I don't give a fuck about anything but how my body feels. **

**"Fuck," I breathe quietly, slowly turning around. I lick my lips quickly and close my eyes, running my hand across my stomach as I lay down. "Fuck."**

"Fuck." I echo his words, it's all I'm capable of as I fall forwards onto my knees at the loss of his body holding me up, and as he turns to face me I collapse down beside him, grabbing his face and attacking his lips with such force and need that I even surprised myself. Breaking for air, I breathed into his neck, lightly caressing the smooth skin with the backs of my fingers as I inhaled deeply, enjoying the closeness, enjoying his warmth, enjoying him.

I suddenly felt exceptionally, I dunno, overwhelmed, overjoyed, no, that doesn't quite do it justice, I don't really know what I mean, but I know that after the pure frenzy of that moment of incredible intensity, I was calm, sated, insanely content. I was here by choice. Whether initially instinctive or not when I fled the gym, coming here I mean, it doesn't matter, I knew exactly where I was going, and I knew that this was where I wanted to be. Here. Well, not necessarily here, it could be anywhere. But right here right now, yes. Here, with him.

"Cody…" I breathed his name unconsciously as I continued to tenderly stroke his skin, just listening to his shallow breathing, the insistent rhythm slowly starting to level out and deepen as he relaxed into me further.

Burying my face in his neck, I pulled him closer towards me, holding him tight, wrapping his arms around me in return. Now nobody could ever call me a sentimental fool but I really needed to feel him close to me right now. And I was beginning to think that even after the pheromones wore off I'd continue in much the same fashion. It had been a trying 24hours, and we were in this together. And although he hadn't voiced it as such, I think he needed me. And I think that maybe I was slowly coming to realise that, perhaps, I just maybe, possibly, needed him too…

We lay there for the longest time, just content in our own minds, and I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened, and how I'd felt upon discovering him there like that. I didn't even recognise myself there for a moment, acting purely with some deep seated animalistic instinct, some kind of primal urge that I couldn't control, and fuck it felt… incredible, invigorating… satisfying. Like I was giving in. And that it was a good thing.

Eventually, our breathing returned to normal, I could feel his eyes on me, and looking down to meet them I couldn't stop myself from leaning in to capture his lips, languidly yet hungrily, I couldn't get enough of his taste. And I know it's barely even midday yet my eyes are closing of their own accord, I just feel so comfortable here that I could easily drift off and feel completely at ease, knowing that when I awoke, Cody would be here. And I really liked the thought of that. I was looking forward to it in fact.

**I kiss him back feverishly as his lips find mine, moaning softly into his mouth. My hand roams up his side, just touching and rubbing his skin under his tshirt. I pull back and smirk, "Again, I think you have far too many clothes on," I say, smiling at how tired he looked. **

**"It's alright though. I guess I'll just have to lay here naked." I bite my lip gently and lean over, placing a small kiss to his lips before shifting the blanket over us.**

**I take in a breath and wrap my arm under his neck and pull him close to me, resting my chin on top of his head. I can't really get what's going on right now. I'm fucking knackered again already. He's actually wearing me out. I sigh contently and close my eyes, my head swimming.**

**I try not to think of how he's feeling about all of this. Because I don't even know myself. All I know is that right here, right now; I'm perfectly content to shut out the entire world and just be here with him. He makes me feel... I dunno, I guess he makes me feel kinda secure. I don't even think secure is the right word to use.**

**I'm not making any sense at all right now. I just like being with him like this. We don't have to talk. We don't need to.**

**"Sleep," I mumble, my eyes starting to get heavy, "Then food. Coz I'm hungry." My stomach grumbles loudly and I groan, turning on my side and wrapping myself around him, refusing to move. I'm warm and comfortable. Food will have to wait until I either wake up or get light headed.**

Yeah food could definitely wait, I've had my fill for now… I smirk into his arm and that's about as much energy as I can muster, my brain closing down before it can even register anything else bar the need for sleep. And that's exactly how we passed the rest of the day, drifting between sleeping and fucking, interspersed with occasional food consumption and Xbox thrown in.

We both knew we'd been due to fly out to our respective homes earlier in the day, the rest of the roster leaving the hotel not long after breakfast, if not straight after the show the night before, but with not a word spoken about it between us, here we were. And that was fine by me.

We must've passed out at some point in the middle of the night, deciding somewhere along the way that hair of the dog was the way forward, anything to attempt to combat the hangovers of epic proportions we both sported that only got progressively worse as the day wore on. So drunk as fuck, and free from any and all outside interference, we'd set about indulging ourselves in all manner of ways, holed up in the room, neither of us knowing when this would end so making the most out of every spare moment we had to enjoy each other's company. And that we certainly did.

So you can imagine my extreme displeasure, in fact, utter horror, to wake to, no, that's not right, to be _rudely awakened_ (not long enough after crashing might I add, at least it felt that way, it could've been hours for all I know…) by the jackhammering of something large and interfering pressed somewhere under my skull. Upon closer inspection as I fished it out, it turned out to just be my phone, but what the fuck? I'd clocked the time as my eyes attempted to peer at the screen, and my fury at John couldn't have been more, well, furious. What the fuck was he ringing me for? And at this time of morning? Oh my god. I'm definitely gonna kill him next time I see him. I'd hurled my phone at the door with such force it smashed into a thousand pieces and woke Cody up with a start, and he looked so comical and confused that I was instantly over it and only interested in curling back up with him again.

And the next time I woke up, well… let's just say that it was a wake up I'd never turn down in a million years…

**I jerk awake to the sound of a huge bang and I sat bolt upright. blinking madly, rubbing my eyes as my heart pounded in my chest. I gasp and shove Randy's chest. "What the fuck," I growl, laying back down and turning my back on him, glaring before feeling my eyes feel heavy again, the sound of him chuckling and his arm pulling my back into his chest. I whine loudly, blindly reaching for my phone as it beeps, reading the message.**  
><em><br>__***whats up?***_

I scowl and look at the time, glaring as I reply.

_***at 6am? fuck off dustin***_

Almost three seconds after I send the message I get another one, whining again.

**"Who the fuck is it?" I hear Randy moaning into the back of my neck.**

**"It's Dustin," I say, stifling a yawn.  
><strong>_**  
>*no i wont. so how are you?*<strong>_

I roll my eyes. I know he won't stop texting me until he's happy I'm wide awake and can't get back to sleep.

_***fine.***_

*good how was the show?*

*fine*

*i see... and been up to much?*

*no*

I send the message and hold my breath tightly, my face screwed up as Randy shifts up onto his elbows. "What does he want?" he asks, rubbing his eyes.  
>"No idea..."<br>My stomach clenches tightly as I groan when my phone starts ringing, Dustin's name flashing on the screen.

**"Dustin I'm tired," I mumble into the phone, grabbing a cigarette from the locker and lighting one up. **

**"I bet you are," he says and I stop mid drag and nearly choke, hearing the smirk in his voice. "So how is Randy? Haven't been around much so I wouldn't really know." **

**The underlying tone in his voice made me freeze. I glanced at Randy as he sat up and swallowed hard.  
>"He's ok..." I say looking at him, frowning. Randy arches an eyebrow and snaps the phone from my hand, putting it on loudspeaker.<strong>

**"Mhm," he says, "And Beth? How is she?"**

**"Uh... ok..."**

**"Mhm."**

**I take a drag from my smoke and watch Randy light one up, staring the phone in his hand. "Dustin..."**

**"Where are you by the way?" he asks, "I thought you were going to come home for the weekend."**

**"...Something came up..."**

**"I bet it did." **

**We sit there in a short silence, staring at each other in horror. **

**"Hi Randy."**

**Randy's eyes snap open and I hold my breath, slowly getting the covers and covering myself up. "Hi..." Randy said slowly, shifting under the blanket. **

**"Right so," he says brightly, "I'll see you guys in a few days."**

**"Bye..."**

**"Later guys..."**

**He hung up and I sat there staring at the phone for a long time, just smoking my cigarette in silence. **

**"Well that was... awkward..." Randy said, taking a breath. **


	9. Chapter 9

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 9

Words: 4,206

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Disclaimer: we own nothing except our imaginations

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's

...

**I don't know how long I slept for. I know it was hours because the sun was now up, casting a bright glow over the room. I opened my eyes slowly and smiled to myself, feeling Randy's arm around my waist. I could kinda lay here for another age if I'm being honest. His breathing is slow and heavy, still completely dead to the world. His fingers move every so often and a small grin comes to my face. I reach down and bite my lip as I run my fingers along his softly, taking in a slow deep breath.**

I wriggle my way out from his grasp gently, making sure not to wake him as I go into the bathroom to take a piss. I finish up and grab my cigarettes from the locker, lighting one up and sitting on one of the chairs. I find myself smiling a little as I watch him sleep, rolling onto his back. His legs spread out and arms above his head, the blankets half covering him.

Licking my lips I stab my smoke out, crawling onto the bed gently. I sit back on my heels and pull the covers from his body, taking in his frame. I hold back a groan, leaning forward, peppering kisses along his stomach. I close my eyes as I lick his tip, sucking him in fully. I can hear him stir slightly and I smirk around him, feeling him getting harder.

I shift slightly, sucking harder, my tongue rolling around his shaft, dipping into his slit. I moan a little, his cock at full length and he's shifting around now, small groans coming from his lips. I reach down as wrap my hand around my cock, pumping myself slowly.

I was having this most amazing dream, there were like, I dunno, tiny people holding me down, or was I a giant? Either way, I was huge and they were tiny, and I was tied up, or, I dunno, I couldn't move anyway, and I was lying down and they were running all over me, all over my body and their tiny feet were like a massage, kneading my flesh in all the bits they knew really needed it. It was like they'd been appointed to me to heal me, to make me better, make me whole. I know right, weird or what? But fuck, it felt amazing. And then the tiny people are somehow shoving my cock in this giant vacuum cleaner, I have no idea how cos I mean, they're tiny right, and like, my cock is, well it's not exactly small, so they've got it propped up and are somehow lowering this vacuum cleaner hose down over and over again and there's a big, wet, hot, I dunno, something, like, cleaning me? I have no idea what it was doing but it felt amazing, fucking amazing. Was this some kind of valet cock cleaning service? I hoped it wasn't on some kind of short cleaning cycle cos man I wanted this to last for as long as fucking possible. And then I knew I must be right cos the vacuum thing stopped and the cleaning thing finished and then the next stage began. It was like a car wash, you know how you get the big wet swirly things and then the hot air and the buffing stages? Yeah it was like that. And now the next stage was like fuuuuuck, man I have no idea what it was but it felt fucking incredible, so tight, I couldn't stop my hips seeking more of it, I hope I didn't throw any of the tiny people off as I bucked up like that, cos I could feel them again running up and down my chest, so I took hold of the sheets to try stop myself from doing it again by accident.

Hang on, what… sheets? The tiny people on my chest seemed to stop too, like they were trying to figure out the same thing I was, or remembering something they'd forgot, like what they were trying to do? Then they pressed down hard on my chest, I could hear them telling me it was okay, whispering in my ear, I could feel the warmth from their voices, and they knew my name, how fucking cool is that! But the insistent heat on my cock only increased, fuck, so tight, and faster, oh my god, and suddenly I heard a gasp from above me, like the tiny people had become, just… one, just…Cody?

Cody! Oh my god! My eyes flew open, fucking hell, to behold the most erotically filthy sight I've ever seen in my life. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I was certainly awake now. Fuck… he was sitting astride my hips, his legs spread wide, bent at the knee, his own cock in hand, and fuck me if that wasn't a hot enough sight on its own, but then I realised as I slowly awoke, his hot little panting breaths coincided with every little bounce of his body, and with every bounce, my cock disappeared deep inside his stretched hole.

I stared and stared as he rode me to full clarity and all traces of sleep were gone, quickly to be replaced with oblivion of another sort as he fucked me through the mattress. I was writhing and groaning already, his voice washing over me again as he leant right forward, trapping his cock between our bodies, throatily whispering my name in my ear again, ah, so that's what that was…

Fuck it felt incredible, and the thought of him waking me up like this, oh my god, fuck! Just FUCK! My eyes were bulging out of my head I'm sure, wide and staring, I couldn't get enough of seeing him like that… I pushed him back, watching him upright, throwing his head back, mouth open as the change in angle caused him to thrash wildly, his hips slamming down on me causing mine to buck up in return. Oh my fucking fuck. He looked so filthy, his legs spread wide like that, his hooded eyes, this image will stay with me forever.

**I pulled off his cock, gasping quietly, grinning as I saw he wasn't awake yet. I ran my fingers up along his chest gently as I bit my lip, straddling his thighs. I lean forward, peppering kisses along his chest and neck as I kneel over him, taking his cock in my hand. I hold my breath tightly as it pushes inside me, my head tilting back as he stretches me. I feel him squirm and groan quietly, still asleep.**

**Licking my lips, I give myself a few seconds to adjust before I move on him slowly, his cock filling me up. I lean forward, kissing along his neck as I roll my hips down, grinding him inside me. **

**"Randy," I breathe against his ear, clenching tightly around him. I press my hands to his chest and he holds his breath, bucking upwards and I moan loudly. He eyes start to open slowly, looking at me. I bite my lip and smirk as his eyes fly open and I move faster on him, his cock slipping in and out of me slowly. I cry out, spasming as he pushes me up, sitting me right down on his cock so it fills me completely, pressing straight into my spot. **

**"Randy," I groan loudly, clawing at his chest, slamming myself down onto him, gasping as I tilt my head back, my cock throbbing hard against my stomach.**

I'm close, so close, watching him bounce like that, lewdly spread and so obviously in raptures… I'm gonna have to give that a go… my mind almost explodes at the thought of that, I really need to get him to give it to me again at some point pretty damn soon. The memory of how it feels washes over me and pushes me close, so fucking close my hips are out of control,

"Cody I'm…"

But my blissed out ecstasy is shattered by the sudden harsh intrusion of an ear piercing shrieking from somewhere to my left. We both freeze, staring at each other in shock, rudely torn back to reality as we realise it's the hotel room phone, but then I feel Cody relax, ignoring it completely and carrying on as if nothing happened. I relax back into his rhythm, quickly back at the brink, my panting increasing and I feel myself buck into his body, the spring in my belly uncoiled, my whole body stiffening as I start to… but then opening my eyes I watched in confusion and increasing horror as he casually reaches over and lifts the receiver, still ringing, from the cradle.

Smirking, the act itself seeming to drive him on, he holds the receiver to my ear, his own hot thick spurts shooting all over him as I'm forced to squeak an attempted hello into the mouthpiece.

I watch Cody come completely undone at his actions, biting his lip hard to stifle his cry, his arm shaking that held the receiver to my ear, his eyes fluttering shut as he attempted to keep focus on me as I silently thrashed about on the bed.

"Randy? What the fuck is going on with you? You're breaking my balls man!"

"Vince?"

Fuck… fuck fuck fuck. I see Cody's eyes shoot open and he practically fell off of me, his mouth wide open in horror, his body still convulsing in the throes of passion.

"I've been trying to get hold of you for hours! Turn your fucking phone on!"

"Oh," I shifted my eyes to where my phone lay in ruins by the door, "Sorry…"

"We need Cody for Smackdown."

"Right." Oh really? This was… interesting…

"Tonight."

What the fuck? "Um, okay."

"I trust you'll pass the message on?"

Shit. Shit shit shit. "Well uh, I would Vince, but uh, you see, my phone, it's kinda… broken."

I could hear Vince sigh resignedly down the line. "Randy cut the crap. Put me on speaker I'll tell him myself."

What am I supposed to even say to that? "Uh…"

"Well?"

"I… uh…" I could feel my cheeks turning a violent shade of crimson and I squirmed uncomfortably as if he was right there looking at us. I really didn't know what to say.

"I'll take that as affirmative."

"Um, take what as affir…"

"Randy stop trying to protect him. It's sweet an all, but I know he's there. You do know what Beth's been saying, right?"

I nodded into the phone, biting my lip, Cody was white as a sheet, kneeling beside me, covered in cum, it'd be quite comical if it weren't so serious, "Vince it's not what you think, she had it all wrong…"

"Look what goes on in the personal lives of my talent is their own business, right? Until the moment it impedes on the reputation of my company. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. Cody?"

I would've laughed at Cody's face right then if I wasn't feeling the exact same way, as he squeaked something in acknowledgement,

"Get dressed. Hurry up. Car's waiting outside to take you to the airport."

"Okay…"

"And Randy,"

"Vince…"

"Don't do anything that'll make me change my mind."

"Yes Sir."

"I mean it. Don't make me regret this."

And that was it, he was gone. Regret what exactly? Not firing us? Not believing Beth? And fuck, now Cody is being shipped off, how long for? Indefinite? Or just tonight? Is he purposely separating us? But Beth's there! With that prick Phil! What the fuck… We just sat staring at each other in shock, wondering what the fuck just happened.

"Randy I…"

"I'm coming with you." And that was that. I wasn't about to just send him into the lion's den on his own.

**I take in a breath, chewing my lips gently as I stand up. I just look at Randy for a few long seconds before walking into the bathroom and closing the door gently. I turn the water on in the shower and get in, running my hands over my head. Fuck. Smackdown? Is it just for tonight? I fucking hope so because I don't really fancy hanging around Beth constantly.**

**I stay in the shower for little over thirty seconds before stepping out again, feeling strangely numb. I really don't know what to say as I go out, pulling on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. I shove my clothes into my case and sit on the bed. I don't know what to say to him if I'm being honest. I mean, did I really think we would get away with this? I dunno… I guess I wasn't expecting this to be cut so short after only two days.**

**I watch him pull his clothes on and I take in a breath. Why was he coming with me? Did he just want to stay with me? Was it because he didn't want me to be around Beth alone? Swallowing hard I pull my shoes on and wait for him to finish getting ready. **

"**Vince knows then," I say, almost sadly. **

**I know that Vince isn't particularly happy when his top stars are involved in any sort of scandal. And when I thought about it, this is probably about as scandalous as he could imagine anything with Randy.**

**I wonder if this is it. I mean, fuck I don't even know what *it* is. But I think I would have liked to find out. I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into this. I mean, we really were fucking hammered that night. And I guess it could have been mixed with this weird, not-so-sure attraction… curiosity maybe?**

**I'm killing it already. But I don't even know if there's anything to kill. Fuck.**

"**Ready?"**

**I look up at him as he finishes getting dressed and I nod my head, no idea what to say.**

I sat in the car for hours, and I couldn't stop thinking, my head was just fucked with too many thoughts. Vince had called me when Cody was in the shower and told me I suddenly had to go do this signing, he knew I wanted to go with Cody, that old fucker, and he knew it would only compound everything that everyone was already thinking. And he was right. Of course. He always is.

So I'd stood at the front of the hotel and watched Cody pour himself into the cab to head to the airport, his face looking the way I felt. More than anything I wanted to say goodbye. To lean in and kiss him as if that was the most normal thing in the world. Cos it felt like it was.

But it couldn't have been more off limits, and I hated that. I hated seeing him like that. And I hated that it made me feel like this. Fuck. I slammed the heel of my palm into the steering wheel as I drove. That was a good long few hours ago now. And I had a terrible feeling that it'd become nothing more than a distant memory. So much had happened in such a short space of time. I walked out of that hotel a different person to the one I went in as. Nothing could change that. And I didn't want it to change, but everything else had changed as a result.

Deep down I think I knew it was over. I kept telling myself that Vince only needed him there for one night, maybe a few, then he'd be back with me on Raw, but I had a sinking feeling the more I thought about it… that Vince had other plans altogether and that would be the last I'd see of Cody for the foreseeable future. When he says nothing fucks with his company, even potentially, he means it.

I flick the radio on in the hope it'll take my mind off things, but the only signal it seems to get out here is shitpopFM and if I have to listen to that any longer than it took to turn it off… yeah, you get the picture. I sigh loudly, the sound forlorn as fuck in the empty car, and I wish I hadn't packed my ipod in my case in the trunk and smashed my phone against the wall, cos I'm totally alone. Just me and my thoughts that are slowly driving me insane. I mean, what was I even thinking? Well, I wasn't really, I was trying not to, it was all about just going with the flow, not overanalysing it, experiencing new… well, experiences, heh. And fuck, we certainly did that. I had no idea Cody was such a filthy…

Fuck, no. Stop thinking about it. I'll only get myself worked up. I had a really great time and I think I've lost it before it even began, before we even had a chance to decide for ourselves what the fuck it was we were doing. And now he was going to be there all by himself at Smackdown, having to contend with _her_ fucking jeering at him, rubbing Phil in his face, everyone else on Beth's side. Man, I wish there was something I could do. And I wish I knew when I'd get to see him again. Oh god I sound like a woman. Somebody shoot me in the head. Please.

But seriously. I'm worried about him. He really doesn't deserve any of that and I reckon there's probably worse to come. What the fuck was Vince thinking? That callous bastard! He obviously believed Beth and just acted on what he'd heard, says a lot for what he thinks of my reputation huh? Then I guess he maybe thought they could patch things up if Cody was there with her and away from me. He obviously doesn't know about Phil yet… and I wonder if she went crawling to him herself or if he just got wind of it on the grapevine? Hm. Interesting.

Well, I guess I just have to wait and see. When's the next supershow? At least there's always those. Cos I just have this bad feeling that Vince is out to fuck with me. And I really don't know how I'm going to cope without having Cody there. That thought hits me strong and I feel a pang, like an actual pang. I'm gonna miss him, that fucker. Man I'm talking like he's fucking dead or something! Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, maybe it really is just for one night and he'll be back on the Raw for the next loop… Should I call him? Is it too soon? Fuck I'm acting like I'm dating him or something! Oh my god. I seriously need to get out of this car, clear my head, start thinking straight. Or stop thinking altogether, that'd be better.

I finally pulled into the venue and banged my head on the steering wheel for good measure, digging out the Randy Orton the fans will recognise and not this fucking pussy sitting in a rental car over thinking everything. Before I get out I check my schedule, I have to know… Thursday, next Thursday, not this one. Fuck. I don't know if I can wait that long to see him again. I know I definitely don't want to.

**I could barely even look at him as I got into the cab that day, closing the door behind me, closing my eyes as we started to drive off and I kinda felt like part of me was being left in that hotel. Like some weird old part of me that I didn't need any more. It's gone now and I can't get it back. I don't think I even want it back now. **

**Smackdown. Fuck. This was going to be an experience. **

**I spent the first few days touring with Smackdown pretty much alone. I haven't really heard from Randy much, just the odd text here and there and it's driving me crazy. And everyone else... well let's just say they've been less than welcoming. I walked into the locker room and pretty much every guy in there hurried up getting dressed and left. **

**That felt awkward. Not to mention it pissed me off. I've known these guys fucking years and just because of one weekend they assume I'm gonna try fucking rape them in the shower or some shit. It's fucking bullshit. I sat alone most of the time on the bus and it wasn't by choice. People just seemed to avoid me like the fucking plague. **

**A few people did talk to me though. Striker, Drew... and that's about it. At least I actually got along with them though and I wasn't stuck talking to people I didn't like. Matt seemed to lurk around me a lot though and was constantly asking me shit. Pissed me the fuck off.**

**Then there was Beth... She was over here on Smackdown. Yay. That's been fun. She seemed to always have a hotel room right next to mine, keeping me awake every damn night listening to her and Phil fuck. It's awesome. Fucking bitch. And the fact that I heard that it's been going on for over a year... I won't lie. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I don't really get what I did that was so bad to make her cheat on me.**

**Then sometimes I think that maybe it's just because she's a fucking whore and can't keep her legs closed. I don't know, either way I hate being around her. I hate being here on Smackdown. I want to go back to Raw... to Randy.**

**I miss my friends and I miss Randy so much it pretty much hurts because since that weekend we haven't spoken. And I'm starting to think that maybe he's freaked out or regrets it all. And I can't say I regret it because I fucking don't. And as pervy as it sounds, the only thing keeping me from flipping my lid are those videos we made of... those times. **

**And every time I watch them, they have the same effect on me. They just blow my mind. It's this weird reminder that I can still feel good sometimes. Even though I'm alone here. **

**But there's a supershow tomorrow and he's going to be there. And when I think of it, my stomach is flipping over, I start feeling sick at just the thought of maybe seeing him. Maybe we could get some time together... Maybe he doesn't want to. That's probably more likely but I can hope right?**

**I guess I'm getting sick of hearing them talk about me all the time. I just wish they'd get the fuck over it already. Because fuck that shit. I'm sick of feeling like I've done something terrible when all I did was get some comfort from a friend after that cunt broke up with me. Granted, not the same kind of comfort that most guys get with their best friends… **

**And what makes it worse is that everyone still believes that I cheated on her with Randy. And I didn't. Fuck I never would have done that to her. I fucking loved her. And I know that you can't really just fall *out* of love with someone and it still stings but I'll get over it. And I think that I almost am. That or I haven't had the time to really think about it since coming here because I've had so much on my mind. **

**Not that I have a lot on my mind. Just one thing. And it seems to be the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. Randy fucking Orton. He's fucking consuming me and I don't know how much more I can take. I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need to find out what the fuck is going on.**

**And as cheesy and corny as it sounds, I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I could really use him around right now but I can't have that. I can't have him. I mean, it was more than likely just a once off. And I think I'm ok with that. But I want my best friend back. Yeah, it'd be awesome to do all that with him again... and again and again and again... but I can deal, knowing that we've done it. And nothing will change that. **

**And when I watch those videos, I can fucking *feel* how tight he was. And how good he felt inside me, his cock balls deep, filling me up completely to the point where I actually couldn't take anymore. He made me fucking dizzy. So yeah, that's pretty much what I've been doing.**

**Wrestling. Missing Raw. Missing Randy.**


	10. Chapter 10

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 10

Words: 7,739

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Authors: Dierubberducky & doorist

Disclaimer: we own nothing, we make it all up, we make no money

**Warnings: Language and m/m slash**

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**...**

It's here. It's finally fucking here. Tomorrow is Thursday. Supershow day. The day I've been waiting almost two fucking weeks for. Two weeks of hell. Vince kept him there. I fucking knew it. That bastard. And I have no idea how he's doing. Well I have a fair idea. And I don't like it. He's miserable and I hate it. It's driving me insane. But what can I do? There's nothing I can do whatsoever and that drives me even more insane.

But tomorrow I can see him at least, see how he's holding up, make sure he's okay… he's a big boy. I'm sure he'll get through it, but I just wish I could be there to help. No not _that_. Well, yes, that too, but not _just_ that. I just mean that's what friends are for right? And okay okay I'm not gonna lie, I would happily, erm, comfort? Is that the right word? Comfort him again like that… a lot. Heh.

Fuck my groin is tightening just at the thought of all the ways I could comfort him. Which reminds me… I dig out my phone and open the videos I had Cody resend me… I really needed them on my new phone… I was wary of asking him, I mean, you know, I didn't wanna ring him to see how he was and be all _'by the way send me the videos of your cock in my ass bitch'_ as if that's all I was after, cos I knew he'd think that. Well, I thought he would.

I wonder if he watches them as often as I do? I wonder if he even still has them at all? He might've deleted them the minute he got home for all I know. That thought makes my hand stop dead in its tracks on its path towards my groin, and I stare at the screen and bite my lip, my stomach doing a flip, cos he sounded kinda off when I rang him last, like, I dunno, like he didn't really wanna be talking to me at all, or be seen talking to me maybe?

Maybe he doesn't look at it all the same way I do… and to be honest I'm not really sure which way I look at it, but I know that the second I look at those videos I'm transported back to that hotel room in the blink of an eye and it feels like I've never left, and it feels like I don't want to… maybe he doesn't feel like that at all? Maybe it wasn't as… I dunno, life changing for him?

I don't mean like, I'm not, it's not like I'm gay or anything now. I'm not going around fucking every guy I lay my eyes on. And I'm not about to start shit like that any time soon, the thought repulses me if I'm honest. Though I think that's what a lot of the other guys think. John and his fucking towel over himself and his back to the wall every time I walk past, giant grin as if that's actually funny, everyone else just fucking encouraging him, I mean fuck, really? They've known me HOW long? Yet still they believe Beth's shit over me? The fucking cheek!

But there's no point arguing. I discovered that the very first day back. They all just look at me like 'whatever dude', smirking and fucking gurning at me. And that fucking Gabriel slut offered me his services! The cheek! Who the fuck does he think he is! Then Vince has to go and arrange a match with him and he didn't let any opportunity go to waste to have his hands all over me. Ew. I wonder what Cody thought of that… I wonder if he even saw… he was probably too busy fending off Matt Striker haha!

Oh my god that guy's got it bad! I've never heard anything quite like it, the way he fawns all over him the way he does… I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Not one little bit. Maybe I should get my ass on down to smackdown every now and then… though of course I'd prefer Cody to be back at Raw but seeing as it doesn't look like that's going to be happening any time soon… or… or maybe… hm, just maybe… an idea strikes me and I mull it over for awhile, wondering how feasible it is…

I wonder how receptive Vince will be if I ring him up and pitch him _that_ idea… HA! Anyway, pipedreams are all well and good, but it's reality I'm more concerned about right now. I looked at the clock, tomorrow is finally fucking here, and I still had no idea what I was going to say to him. The video was finished on my phone and my hand was still paused on its unfinished journey to my cock, and for the first time in living memory, I pulled my hand out instead of doing the deed, and sent Cody a text instead.

_*Hey man, see you tomorrow? night*_

Oh my god that was lame, really fucking lame, but I stared at the screen for so long trying to think of something to say that my eyes actually went to sleep while they were still open. And just as I was about to doze off, a dim light lit up the bedside table for a second as my phone buzzed. I practically jumped out of bed in my haste to get it, finding a smile on my face without even meaning to put one there, and I lay back down, still smiling, and alone again with my thoughts.

**I'm laying on my bed staring at the ceiling as Matt blabs on and on at me about some shit. I have no idea what he's even talking about if I'm being honest. I don't think he even knows I'm not listening to him anymore. I wish he would take the hint and shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone to wallow in my own misery. I mean, he's a nice guy, don't get me wrong but... I dunno, he's starting to creep me out.**

Like all of a sudden we're rooming together every single night and I get this weird feeling that he's trying to parade himself around me a lot of the time... Like when he gets out of the shower he tends to walk around the room, looking busy as he tries to find his clothes, wearing this tiny towel. It looks stupid. I mean, they *do* have bigger towels in the bathrooms... And when he's getting dressed. He like, really slowly undresses and actually crawls onto the bed on his hands and knees, glancing at me.

What the fuck does he expect me to do? I'm not just gonna go over and stick my cock in his ass, you know? And when he does that I just think of when Randy walked in on me that time, with my fingers in my ass and just turned me into this cock whore, fucking bucking back against him, screaming his name... And then all of a sudden I'm pulled back to reality when Matt starts talking to me again, laying on his stomach with his arms folded under his head, looking at me with these... eyes.

I mean, I kinda feel embarrassed for him, you know? I dunno, I think maybe I'm just reading into it too much. Like maybe he's not actually doing all this stuff and I'm just imagining it but I don't think so.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I take it out, looking at the screen. I feel my stomach jump and I actually have to force the smile from my face as I read the text from Randy. *

_**Yeah definitely, I'll be there. Night***_**I send it back and sigh softly, closing my eyes. It's still early but we have to be up in the morning so we're gonna go to bed.**

Even if I feel like getting up and getting drunk, I don't really fancy doing it alone. Or coming back here drunk alone. I glance over at Matt and see he's still watching me. I blink and sit up, awkwardness kinda just shooting through me.

**"Um, I'm gonna go for a drink," I say, pulling my shoes on, "I'll see you later."**

"I can come if you want?"

Shit. "Uh no it's ok," I tell him, "You stay... there... I'm meeting my brother downstairs."

"Alright," he says, sighing a little and pulling the covers over him.

I watch him for a second before grabbing my wallet and key card, leaving the room in a hurry. I shake my head as I walk down the hall. I hear a door open behind me and I turn around, seeing Beth and Phil walk out of their room and I freeze for a second before taking a deep breath and getting into the elevator.

Too late. They get in before I get a chance to close the doors on them. I stand there stiffly against the wall, staring at the floor, my expression turning to nothing but bitterness and hate. I swear to fucking god I nearly just dropped to the ground when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and started kissing him right there in front of me, pressing him up against the wall opposite me.

I can fucking see her smirk through the kiss and my stomach hits the floor, my chest tightening insanely. The doors open and they break apart, Phil taking her hand and leading her out. She grins at me as they leave, satisfaction plastered all over her face. I watch her walk out and I want to punch her in the face when she blows me a kiss.

I see Dustin outside in the lobby talking to some fans and I step out, trying to calm myself down as I walk straight into the bar and sit down, ordering a triple Jack. Fucking bitch. Who the fuck does she think she is? I want to smash something. I want to fucking stab him.

"Hello!"

I turn my head and see Dustin grinning like mad at me, sitting down and ordering a drink. "Hey," I mumble, sitting back.

"Why the long face?" he asks, "Not getting enough action?"

"Dustin, just fucking *don't* alright?" I say, all humour gone from my voice.

He sighs and sits back, taking our drinks from the waitress and handing me mine. "Alright," he says, smiling a little, "So what the fuck are you doing on Smackdown?"

I look at him blankly. "That's a stupid question."

"You should hear what they're saying over on Raw, man," he says, motioning for me to follow him outside for a cigarette.

I get up and follow him, sitting down on a steel chair outside as he throws a smoke at me. I light it gratefully and take a long drag.

**"Do I even want to know what they're saying?" I ask, sighing heavily.**

"Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway because I want to gossip," he says smirking, "So everyone's been saying you and Randy have been fucking for aaages..."

"Fucking stop," I say, growling, "We haven't been fucking for ages. We hadn't even been fucking at all. We only fucked AFTER Beth broke..."

"HA SO YOU ADMIT IT!" he practically shouts, making me jump, utter glee laced through his voice, "I fucking knew it! You guys could never keep your hands off each other."

My face turns beet red and I hold my breath, frowning at him. "Shut the fuck up man," I say, "And keep your voice down, jeez..."

"But you fucked right?" he asks, smirking.

I take in a deep breath. "I didn't cheat on her," I say, shaking my head and taking a long drag from my smoke.

"I know you didn't," he tells me, shoving my shoulder, "But like... Randy? How the fuck... WHY the fuck?"

"I dunno," I say, "But it's over now anyway so..."

"What do you mean?"

"Like it was a once off thing, Dustin. It's not like it's gonna happen anymore."

"You know people are saying you guys have been fucking since you were fifteen?"

**I nearly spit out my drink and I stare at him, wide eyed. **

**"Yeah man," he says, laughing, "And that Justin guy is all fucking over him. Like not even making a secret of it. Literally pawing him. Kinda the way Randy paws you, except worse."**

"He doesn't fucking paw me, why does everyone say that?" I growl, my eyes flashing red at the thought of Justin. Oh I remember that match. I remember sitting there glaring at the screen for entire thing wanting to knee him in the nuts.

"Yes he does," he says, "Even dad noticed it in your first match."

Dad. I haven't spoken to him at all. "Does he..."

"He's heard," he shot me a shit eating grin at my dismay, "I think he's waiting for you to call him about it though."

"What did he say?" I ask, my stomach folding over.

"Nothing at all. He kinda just shrugged and mumbled something about talking to you when he got the chance. He's either waiting for you to call him, or he's avoiding it."

I talk to Dustin for another hour or so before he says he has to go sort some shit out and I leave him to go back into my room. I walk in and scowl when I see Matt sprawled out on MY bed half naked, playing MY xbox.

**"I want to sleep," I snap and he arches an eyebrow at me, turning the console off and just getting into his own bed.**

I rip my tee shirt off and get into bed, covering my face with the blanket.

A few more hours and I see him. Just a few more hours and I can talk to him. Fuck I miss him.

Well, I'm here. And I can't find him anywhere. And Justin has just kindly informed me, with a devious glint in his eye that Cody is fucking Striker. As has John. Who also took glee in adding that they're sharing a room every night and that everyone knows. Gee. Thanks for that. One part of me knows that he's not, well, not fucking him at least, but another part can't help but think he didn't waste any fucking time did he, fucking bastard!

But really, even if he is, who am I to stop him? Not that I ever would, but I mean… I guess I mean, I dunno, I don't have any right to stop him doing anything, to even feel in any way betrayed or upset or angry. And why should I? It was just a drunken fuck (or ten) wasn't it? Right? Right. It's not like we're even together, or even had/have anything that means something. I don't have a clue if it ever meant anything to him at all…

At the time, I admit I thought we maybe did, have_ something_, I mean it came so out of the blue I barely had time to register it let alone attempt to figure out what it was. I could feel it, I don't know what it was, but it was there. I don't think I'd even be questioning it, when we were together there was no doubt in my mind, but apart like this, I mean, paranoia sets in, you know? And I know I have no right to feel like this, to even _be_ paranoid, about what exactly? That some drunken fuck that may or may not have even meant anything in the first place now means even less because he may or may not be fucking someone else straight after?

I mean with what everyone's saying, I just can't help but feel… argh, I dunno. But he fucked me straight after Beth broke up with him, so why wouldn't he do it again? He's young, he's free, he can make up for lost time, for two wasted years of his life, why not huh? I can hardly blame him. So why do I feel like this? Like it's a kick to the teeth? And a shock to the system. Cos it's not like I actually have any feelings, not really, right? I'm not even capable of them…

So then why am I pacing the corridors searching for him? Why do I wanna set things straight? What things? Set what straight? I don't even know! I just know that I need to see him. I want to see him. It's just so hard to do anything under a microscope like this though, it's like being in a fucking fishbowl for fuck sake, everyone fucking staring at every little thing I do, not even trying to fucking hide it, fuck.

And then there's dickheads like fucking John, all his not so subtle comments at breakfast about my protein intake… that fucker. I ignored him, rolled my eyes, but really all I wanted to do was smack him in the face. Then there was Justin. Oh my god that bitch can't take a fucking hint. People actually think I requested facing him! What the fucking fuck! Hell no. Helllll no. I'm _not_ fucking happy.

Then I get Husky asking me if daddy Rhodes has been down to roast my balls yet, so they've obviously heard about it up there at FCW… and fuck, _Dusty_. I don't even… it's bad enough with Dustin grinning weirdly at me all the time and giving me far too friendly back slaps every time we cross paths, talk about unnerving, I don't want the wrath of the rest of the Runnels clan bearing down on me… I can hardly face Dustin as it is. At least my old man doesn't seem to have got wind of it… yet…

I took out my phone and checked it for the umpteenth time, deciding to tap in a quick friendly text casually asking where he was… I'd hoped I wouldn't have to resort to that… didn't wanna look, you know, desperate, or like I was checking up on him… but I hope he's okay, where the fuck is he? As if reading my thoughts, the stupid dimpled face of John appears in front of me.

"Looking for the Codeman?" he asked with far too much relish,

"Fuck off." I really wasn't in the mood.

"He's been packed off with Drew to sign shit down the mall on the other side of town, be lucky to make it back in time to even get a match!"

Hm. Interesting. Drew huh? Hm. Very interesting. Without me even doing a thing it seemed my plan might be coming together after all…

…

Finally I ran into him, I'd just walked out to warm up and he was coming backstage after his match,

"Hey!"

"Hey…" I dunno why I sounded so surprised to see him, and he looked, I dunno, hesitant,

"Did you get my text?"

"I did, yeah, looking forward to it,"

"Good, that's good…"

"Yeah, I… Randy you better go…"

What? But then the stagehand called me, _again_, oh right, he meant to warm up, yeah, for a minute there I wasn't sure what he was getting at, how paranoid is that? Fuuuuck.

"I'll see you later then?"

"Sure."

And just that one word alone left me with such a feeling of elation that it got me through my whole match with Justin with hardly a single thought about wanting to slam his face into the exposed turnbuckle for real.

Until I got backstage again that is. I was practically running, yeah so I was excited okay? So what? And I knew I was smiling. Except the smile was instantly wiped from my face the second I saw Cody standing there with his cases, looking decidedly shifty, getting shouted at by Drew to hurry the fuck up. Is he fucking Drew now too?

"You're not coming are you?"

**I spend so long trying to find Randy it's actually stupid. I keep checking my phone every three minutes, wondering if it was even working anymore. I'm more than thankful Matt is too busy to hang around me much today and I feel like I can relax a little. I'm around the side of the building having a quick smoke when I jump a little, Drew cornering me.**

"Fuck!" I say, frowning, "You scared the shit outta me..."

"Hey, hurry up," he says, grinning, "We've got this signing to do across town."

WHAT? I stare at Drew, unable to keep the look of disappointment from my face as he raises his eyebrows at me.

**"What?" I ask, "But I thought I had a match..."**

"Change of plans apparently," he drawls, leaning against the wall, "Your match is later. So hurry up so we can get back in time, yeah?"

I take the last drag from my smoke and walk towards a rental with him, sighing heavily. Fucking perfect. I get to spend the day with Drew fucking McIntyre instead of maybe possibly getting some alone time with Randy.

As much as I want to see him, I don't want to see him here. In front of everyone. Because god dammit everyone was still talking bullshit and watching everything I was doing. And to make it worse, Dustin had come up to me this morning asking me if I was fucking Trent as well, because he had been told by Justin that he had heard it from god knows fucking who. WHAT THE FUCK? Argh.

I hate drama.

Drew and I finish up the signing and I check my phone, groaning when I see a text from Randy. Great. I spend all day looking for him and checking my phone, the second I have to turn it off, he texts. Perfect timing Randy. I feel like I can't even text him back because Drew is looking at me suspiciously. So I shove my phone back into my pocket and pray that I get the time to text him back later.

I'm only back at the venue five seconds before the trainers are yelling at me to get ready and get changed for my match. I growl and run to the locker room, freezing on the spot when I see the only other person there is Justin.

"Hi Cody," he says, his eyes lighting up as I close the door.

I hold my breath tightly as I pull off my jacket. "Hi."

"How are things?"

"Fine."

"Good to hear, how's Matt?"

"Fine."

"Good good... you know Randy is quite the catch, don't you think?"

I glare at the wall and start emptying out my gym bag, getting my trunks and boots out.

**"I wouldn't know," I say stiffly, almost ripping my tee shirt off my back and shoving it into my bag.**

There was a small silence but I can feel his eyes boring into my back. "Really?" he asks, something in his voice making me want to both punch him in the face and then vomit, "Because fuck, he certainly knows what to do... if you get what I mean?"

**I completely freeze, the anger shooting through me right now is actually incredible as I hear him get up and tell me he has to go.**

I take in a deep breath and growl, punching the wall hard before closing my eyes, my knuckles throbbing as I rest my forehead against it.

**"Motherfucker," I mumble as I grab out my wrist tape. So they had fucked. Why am I so pissed off about that? I force myself to push that image out of my head as I wrap up my wrist and around my hand, forcing myself to focus on my match.**

I win easily and just get backstage when I see Randy there and my stomach drops, almost forgetting what Justin had said to me. There were so many people around right then. I could barely talk to him. But he looked happy. And I felt it.

I watched him go and as soon as he disappeared through the curtains I heard Drew call my name. I turned around and I thought my heart was actually going to stop beating. I thought I was actually going to cry for fuck sake. I knew by the look on his face that I had to go.

"Sorry..." he says slowly and I just sigh heavily, going to the locker room to get changed.

I come back out and carry my bags back to the stage entrance and watch as Randy comes through the door. His face was all smiles for only a split second.

"You're not coming are you?"

I shook my head. "I can't," I say quietly, "I have to go straight to the airport to go do this signing thing tomorrow..." I open my mouth to say something else but close it straight away as Justin comes through the curtain behind Randy. He sees me and gives me this smirk before walking off and I feel so stupid right now.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out, trying to hide the desperation flooding my voice.

**I can't even read the look on his face as I hear Drew calling me again. "I really have to go Randy," I say, stepping a little closer. What am I doing? I shake my head and grab my bags, feeling like this was it. I actually kinda feel like I won't ever see him again which is stupid because I will. But that's just how it feels. **

**"Um...will you be at the PPV?" I ask, and I frown instantly as the words leave my mouth, he's Randy fucking Orton, of course he'll be there, headlining, naturally, why did I even ask that? I think maybe I was really asking if I'd see him there, which was a different thing entirely… and you think would go without saying, what with being best friends and all… But I just get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking that maybe we're not actually best friends anymore... and even the thought of that fucking kills me.**

He nods his head and I nod mine, awkwardness filling the small space between us. "Right..." I sigh as I turn around, my face showing nothing but misery as I follow Drew out of the venue.

**I pass by Justin on my way out and he smiles at me. "See you around Cody," he says, sweetly.**

I want to punch those perfect teeth out of his head. See how good he thinks THAT feels.

"So uh... what's going on?"

I look over at Drew and shake my head. "Nothing."

We pass the rest of the day in silence together. And I have to admit, it was pretty comfortable. He's not a very talkative kinda guy and it's much easier to be miserable with him than it is when I'm around Matt. He doesn't ask much which is good. If he asks you something and you don't answer, he doesn't ask you again. He actually takes the hint. Drew is having some sort of trouble with Tiffany again and you just don't want to be around that, so he's glad of the break and the silence is welcome for him too. She's a crazy bitch most of the time anyway and then when she's pissed off... yeah, it's not a pretty sight.

**So here I am, on the other side of the country after being so close and still not getting a chance to talk to Randy. Is it too late to call? And by late I mean in every sense of the word… But then as if reading my mind he texts me and I get my answer when he asks me the same thing.**

**I sit down on the bed and plug my phone into its charger, not wanting to get cut off. Dialling Randy's number, I press call, lighting up a smoke with shaky hands. **

Vince is definitely trying to fuck us over. He must be. Flying Cody and Drew out as soon as the show's over? Hm, yeah, as I said earlier, interesting. I think it's about time I made a little phone call, let my powers of persuasion make him think it's all his own idea… because damnit this has got to stop!

All this crazy shit, all the gossip and drama, I mean seriously how old are we? 12? Fucking Justin tried to tell me he'd seen Cody and Drew in the dressing room arrive back all sweaty and out of breath and nearly late for their match as if it wasn't something completely innocent… or was it? Is Cody playing me? Cos John was trying to tell me something about Trent and Caylen too that I justifiably ignored… hm.

No. No no no, I'm being stupid. Fuck, I really need to see him. We really need to talk. Like properly talk. I toyed with my phone, wondering if it was too late to call him… Cody I mean not John. Damn fucking John, trying to stir up trouble between Justin and Cody as if there's actually some kind of rivalry warranted there,

"_You should have SEEN Cody's face watching you and Justin! Ha haaa! He wanted to bash Justin's face in! For real man! Cos Justin is offering himself to you on a plate and Cody knows it!"_

And I know it too and I don't wanna go anywhere near that fucking slut. Who does he think he is? Like he'd even be anywhere near being in my league if I swung that way…

Should I call him? He should've landed by now… I'm sitting here in my hotel room drinking the best part of a litre of bourbon and pacing like a caged lion as I slowly go insane, my fingers constantly dialling in the numbers then abruptly erasing them before I had the chance to hit call… but this time I sat down, took a swig straight from the bottle and stared at the screen, finally deciding what to do.

*you awake?*

I waited less than a few seconds for a reply, *yeah, you ok?*

*can I call?*

And then he called me, instantly. "Hey."

"Randy," he was whispering, was that Drew snoring I could hear in the background? Before I allowed myself to get too worked up over that I reminded myself that I wasn't allowed to care, and also that Vince would be paying for this what with it being so last minute, and that stingy bastard would no doubt be making them share, what with them being the only ones there and all.

But despite all the things running rampant in my mind that I wanted to say to him, I was now suddenly a complete incompetent fool. Cody always seems to have that effect on me recently… and then I fucked everything up by saying the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't say.

"Cody are you fucking Drew?"

"What?" he definitely forgot to whisper that time.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business, I shouldn't have asked…"

"Shouldn't have _asked_? Fuck Randy, you shouldn't have thought so in the first place! You're as bad as everyone else! And _no_. I'm not. How dare you? Are you just trying to get some justification for what you're doing with Justin huh?"

What the fuck? But before I even had the chance to retaliate he continued,

"Cos you know that's fine right? I don't give a fuck what you do Randy, I have no right to care. And I don't. I mean, why would I? And for the record, I'm not fucking Trent either, or Caylen. Or that fucker Matt Striker, despite his best efforts."

"Cody I'm so sorry." He just sighed down the phone at me, his anger somewhat abated but he sounded so, miserable, disappointed? And it was all my fault. "I had no right to ask you that."

"It's okay. I mean, you know," I could hear him shrug down the line, "Justin and whatever. He's…"

"A complete and utter cock? Cody I wouldn't go near him with yours. I'm not gay for starters and everyone thinks I'm off fucking all these guys…"

"I'm a guy."

"Don't I know it." I meant it light hearted, as a joke, you know, cos damn, having his cock up my ass like that, fuck yeah I knew he was a guy.

We were both silent for a few minutes, it hanging heavy in the air over us both, I refilled my glass and took a few gulps, lit up a smoke, trying to figure out how to say that it didn't matter, it didn't mean I regretted what we did or that I didn't wanna do it again, because I did. Fuck yes I did. But only with him. So that definitely didn't make me gay but it didn't make me want him any less either. But I didn't know how to say any of that. But I guess my words came across differently to Cody, because his next words cut me to the bone, we definitely weren't on the same page here.

"It's okay Randy. I get it you know, I feel exactly the same, we were just drunk, so fucking drunk, power of suggestion, or something? It was just a one off, a mistake, I totally blame it on the booze too so you can say it, I'm not gonna be offended or anything."

What?

Oh.

My heart plummeted. A mistake? Well fuck. That was one thing I certainly didn't think it was. We weren't drunk the whole time for fucks sake, only the first night. I didn't know what to say to that. So I didn't say anything.

We sat there in silence, him waiting for me to agree with him and me at a total loss for words. I heard some murmurings in the background and then Cody sounding panicked had to suddenly go.

But Drew's words rung in my ears, "You're such a fucking liar Cody, just tell him the fucking truth."

And suddenly there was hope.

I stubbed out my smoke and crawled under the covers, still clutching the phone tightly, hating the fact that I was alone and he was so fucking far away.

I sent the text before I had time to change my mind.

*it wasn't a mistake for me*

**"You're such a fucking liar Cody, Just tell him the fucking truth."**

I hung up the phone, my eyes wide and this awful panicked feeling in the pit of my stomach.

**"What the fuck Drew!" I growl, my eyes wide, "Why the fuck did you say that?"**

"Um, because I'm sick of you moping around like some heartbroken teenage girl, Cody. For no fucking reason."

"What do you mean for no reason? And I'm not acting like a teenage girl you fucking asshole." I feel my phone buzz and I grab it out, reading the text from Randy over and over again. The emotions running through me are unreal before I stop myself from thinking too much into it.  
>It means that he doesn't regret it, Cody. Not that he wants more.<p>

I have to keep telling myself this because otherwise I know I'm going to let myself in for some more fucking heartbreak. And FUCK the way he just asked me if I was fucking Drew? Fuck. I know he was sorry for asking me that, just by the way he responded but still... Hell, who the fuck am I to talk, I accused him of fucking Justin.

I get up from the bed and I feel Drew's eyes follow me as I pull on my clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"For a drink."

I grab my stuff and leave the bedroom, going downstairs to the bar and I sit on a stool, leaning over the counter. What the fuck. The first time I get to speak to him for weeks and we fight. Great. I order a triple Jack and sip on it slowly, letting the liquid burn my throat. Fuck I could use maybe a full bottle of this right now.

I take the phone out and look at the text message again. At least I know I can still take him as my friend, right? But I have this weird feeling that things won't ever be the same again. I'm not even sure they

_**could**_** be the same. **

**I didn't want them to be.**

I want him. And it terrified me to admit it, but I really fucking want him. I think I always have. There's something about the way he is around me, it calms me but makes me panic and flustered at the same time. But I don't think I'd ever show it.

"Mind if I sit?"

I snap my head around and nearly drop my phone, my face instantly turning white.

**"Dad... hey..." He orders a coffee from the bar and motions for me to follow him to a small table near the back and I feel almost as bad as I did that time I walked into the restaurant after Beth broke up with me. All eyes on me, whispers, staring. Only this time there was less whispers and less staring because the guys were asleep in their rooms in another state, but I still felt just as exposed.**

We sit down and I shift uncomfortably, my stomach sinking.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?"

He doesn't give anything away in his voice. He sounds about as casual as you could possibly get. "Dad..."

"You know," he said, thanking the barman for the coffee, watching him leave out of earshot, "The people I work with were practically falling over each other to tell me what the fuck happened." I swallowed hard, my nerves shot. "So tell me what the fuck is going on Cody."

I sit for a second and close my eyes briefly, knowing that there was no way around this. I can't lie to him, I never really could.

**"I didn't cheat on her dad," I say, leaving my drink on the table, "I never would. I couldn't do that to anyone, and... and I loved her..."**

He's looking at me with a weird expression. It's like he's studying me. It's freaking me out.

**"Why is she saying this then?" he asks, sipping on his coffee, "I don't understand what the heck is going on. First I hear that you cheat on her, then I hear that you're... you're **_**with**_**Randy Orton. Now you've been shipped off to Smackdown. I want some answers, Cody. And I want them now."**

I sink into my seat further and grab my drink, knocking the whole glass back.

**"Dad, I didn't cheat on her. She cheated on me," I say quietly, "And then she started saying all this shit about me and Randy. And now Vince got word of it and he's put me here. And everyone fucking believes her. Dad I swear I didn't do that to her. I know right from fucking wrong and that's wrong." I know my voice was starting to rise, a mix of panic and frustration coming through. "And fucking everyone I thought was my friend is blanking me. Randy is like the only person I have right now..."**

"She cheated on you?" he asks, sitting up.

I sigh heavily and shake my head. "With Punk. Has been for near enough a year."

We sit there for a while, the subject changing almost straight away once he was satisfied I was telling the truth. Granted I never told him that me and Randy had been together. But I never denied it either... and he didn't ask, so I didn't lie to him.

He leaves to go to bed and I'm left sitting here on my own for over an hour before I take my phone out.

_***at least we can still hang out right?***_** I delete it before I send it and I start again. **

_***i dont know what to say to you* **_

**I send it before I think twice and I get up, going back up to my room and getting into bed.**

Well that makes two of us Cody…

I stared and stared at my screen the next morning with no idea what to say back to that. I know we need to talk but seriously I don't even know where to begin. It's like years of talking to each other easily as friends has just stopped, almost like… almost like… I dunno, like we're not even friends anymore. And I fucking hate that. I hate it. It's like we've only just met, or had a one night stand and don't know whether to call… when all I wanna do is just confide in him. I feel like I have no one to talk to. He's the only one I even _could_ talk to about something like this, but… I can't.

If I saw him would it be any different? Would we both just clam up and pretend nothing's wrong yet sit there fidgeting and unable to look each other in the eye? Or would we have a few drinks and be back like old times? I know which I'd prefer… but I have a bad feeling I know which it'd actually be.

That's it, I'm calling Vince. I need to see Cody before everything goes even more to shit, and the only way to do it is to get him back on Raw, at least for now… and the only way to do that is…

"Vince? Hi… I know it's early…"

I hung up feeling slightly accomplished, Vince had come through in more ways than I'd actually expected. And I couldn't help but smile at his words as he completely insulted me in every way possible,

"You look like shit Randy and so does he, all I keep hearing is how you're both moping around like love sick schoolgirls, this shit has got to stop."

And he'd finally got the lowdown on that fucker Punk. I think that's what swayed it for me…

Anyway, besides all that, I had a plan, even if Vince didn't pick up on my subtle hints, I'd decided I'd just talk to Cody whether he liked it or not. I didn't know what to say to him, that much was true, so why not at least start with that? Tell him that. And then just keep telling him whatever random crap comes to mind. I'm gonna bombard the shit outta him, emails, texts, even if they only say something as mindless as '_this movie sux'_ or '_I'm bored'_, it's a start right? I'll have to work up to the big stuff like '_I miss you'_ and '_wanna fuck'_, but hey, hopefully I'll be able to say that to his face sooner rather than later… so I finally hit send on the text I'd had on my screen the whole time I'd been lying here thinking.

_*that makes 2 of us*_

Lame I know, but it's better than nothing, better than deleting it for the umpteenth time and staring at a blank screen like a mute idiot. I'm so fucking gutless. Maybe Drew was right… but I couldn't exactly tell Cody the truth when I didn't even know what the fucking truth was. But hearing Drew say that made me get a step closer, I know that much… it's all about clarification really isn't it? And self-esteem, or lack thereof… cos you can have all the hope in the world but with nothing else to go on…

I'm talking shit, I know. Just humour me yeah, I need to vent. Hm, maybe I should include that in my email to Cody, I'm just rambling crap at him so far, getting the ball rolling, and I'm gonna text him again. Dunno what it's gonna say yet though. Maybe I should send him a pic? We're gonna be at the beach today before the show, maybe I should go all out corny and do one of those 'wish you were here' shots… I could get a bit naughty with that then, without having to admit anything or actually say anything and can pass it off as just a bit of fun… a shot of me stepping into the shower, or that big black marble bath they've got in the gym here… or now, here in bed…

My mind was suddenly running rampant with ideas and I wanted to do everything all at once… I just had to be strong and not chicken out…

I took a photo right where I was lying… then spent the next half an hour trying out different shots and getting a little more risqué each time… by the end my cock was so fucking hard I ended up filming myself rubbing one off too, but I didn't send a thing. Then I moved on to the bathroom and took some shower shots, I'd never realised I was such a critical photographer heh, despite the fact that probably no one would ever even see these…

I was due to do a workout anyway, so I snuck into the sauna and then the jaccuzzi and the marble bathroom before I hit the weights, then spent the next two hours trying to figure out how to take a photo of myself in the gym without attracting the attention of everyone in the room, specifically John, whose eyes had never left me since the moment I arrived. That fucker. I'm still not talking to him. So called friend, hmph, my ass. Then just as I was heading to the pool I got a call from Vince. It was arranged. This Tuesday. Awesome. Bring it fucking on.

Now all I needed to do was actually send some of these so he knows I don't hate him and cross my fingers that we run into each other on Sunday at the PPV.


	11. Chapter 11

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 11

Words: 6,375

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Language and m/m slash

Authors: Dierubberducky & vyvrik

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**CHAPTER 11**

**I feel my phone buzz and I slip it out of my pocket, reading the text from Randy. Dad is sipping his coffee and I put it away, taking a big gulp from mine. Things are really tense between me and my dad today. Not like between us really, more like just me. And he knows. I just hope he's putting it down to the fact like I feel like I'm going to have some sort of nervous breakdown or something.**

**I light up a smoke and take a long drag, my dad arching an eyebrow at me. Sighing heavily I stab it out in the ashtray and sink back into my seat.**

**"Were you with him?"**

**"Huh?" I ask, looking up at him, being ripped back into reality.**

**"Were you with him?"**

**I sit there for a second, my face instantly scarlet and my eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. "What?"**

**"I'm not asking a third time Cody," he says as I grab my cigarette back up and light it.**

**"No!" I take a sharp pull and nearly swallow the smoke. Fuckfuckfuck. My heart is racing and shit I'm actually starting to sweat. Whaaaat.**

**"So you were then," he says, shifting slightly, his eyes never leaving mine.**

**"I wasn't!" I practically fucking squeak. Fucking shit. I'm actually panicking. Fuck what do I say? Just lie, Cody. Just keep lying and eventually he'll go away. I can't fucking lie dammit!**

**"You know," he said, "I was thinking after we talked last night. 'Bout what you was sayin' that Randy was your only friend now... it makes sense."**

**"What does?" I blurt out, a bead of sweat actually rolling down my forehead. I wipe it instantly and take a long drag from my smoke and swallow some more coffee, my stomach clenching almost uncontrollably. I think I might need to throw up.**

**"Remember your first match with Randy?" he asks and I nod, my mind flashing back to that night. Wow. That was one hell of a night. "I saw... hell the whole world saw how you um... *reacted* then." **

**My jaw dropped open. I'm pretty fucking sure it was hanging somewhere close to my feet. He didn't just fucking say that... **

**"And when you moved out, we was cleanin' your room out. Your mom and me. And there was this picture of Randy on your desk..."**

**"I took that at OVW dad! In like my first week! Because he was there catching up with people. And I hadn't seen him in ages..." I cut him off, I'd completely forgotten that picture even existed. There was nothing weird about it. I took a picture of him in the locker room, lacing up his boots. Nothing fucking bad. I had pictures of loads of my friends!**

**"And then I remember he came to visit with Bob. And you two were hangin' outta each other the whole time, you guys... couldn't get you away from each other. An' I don't think you were even talkin 'bout anything," he said. **

**Even though there was nothing really accusing in his voice or nothing like he was mad, it still made me feel awful. I could feel this weird disappointment coursing through me, like I had done something wrong. **

**"And when you got here," he continued, and oh how I fucking wish he'd stop talking, "He took you in straight away. You made your name straight away and people loved you... but that wasn't you. That was him sticking you in the spotlight... It makes total sense. And then Legacy. I know that was his idea. And it worked. Maybe too well... I dunno Cody, he's always had time for you. And you always had time for him. And you always had more time for him than anyone else here. It took so long for you to realise the Beth was even interested in you because you was hangin' with him so much..."**

**"Dad..."**

**"I know you were always close... but I mean, he's older, you always looked up to him. Constantly callin' him when you started trainin' makin sure you were doin' it right... even though me an' your brother were there you always called him. Always. I don't see why I never saw it before now. I mean, watchin' you in the ring with him, I should'a seen it. Everyone else did."**

**I swallow hard, taking in slow deep breaths, trying to stay calm. Trying so desperately to look like what he was saying wasn't affecting me in any way. But it was. It really fucking was. My heart is in my fucking throat and I feel like my chest is caving in. I just want him to go away. I need to think. I really need time to think because even though what he was saying was all true, I just didn't see it like that. Randy is my best friend, of course we hang out! And so fucking what if I had a few pictures of him, didn't everyone have pictures of their friends? Yes they do! It's not like I had them hidden under my mattress or anything. Oh for fuck sake. I can hear myself cursing my brain as my dad studies me.**

**"Cody listen," he said, shifting a little, "I don't want no more lies from you, ya hear? I don't care what you do behind closed doors. That's up to you. But you better think bout this. Coz it ain't something to take lightly. Randy pretty much belongs to Vince, you know that. And don't fuck around making gossip or makin people talk about either of you coz it'll just lead to trouble. Take it as a warning."**

**I stared at him as he got up and paid for our coffee, putting a hand on my shoulder as he left to go back inside the hotel. I was floored. I just sat there staring at the empty mug in front of me and I took out my phone again, reading his message. Shit. I dial his number and put it to my ear before I even have time to think about what I was doing and as soon as I heard his voice, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I hung up the phone, my heart racing. **

**Fuck! He's calling me back. I hang up on him straight away and almost throw the phone against the ground to stop it but I just turn it off and almost run back up to my room.**

**Drew's grabbing his gym bag as I burst through the door and he looks at me weird as I sit on the bed stiffly, swallowing hard.**

**"Are you..."**

**"I'm fine!" I blurt out before he even finishes. He blinks and shakes his head, muttering something about being a freak and leaving me alone.**

**Fuck. What the fuck? I don't know what to do now. Do I do anything? Why the fuck did I call him like that? That was fucking pointless and now I'm going to have to tell him why I called him and then didn't answer. God fucking dammit. I take in a deep breath and grab my laptop, turning it on as I light up another smoke, my chest and throat hurting from smoking so much over the past few days.**

**What do I say to him? I need to talk to him. I need to see him and I need to just fucking be with him. I want to tell him that I'm sorry. And I don't even know what I'm sorry for. I know I just feel like shit and I know it's because he's not here. It fucking sucks. We've done nothing wrong and we're being fucking punished for it! Why the fuck wasn't Beth shoved off to Raw away from Punk? Oh yeah that's right, because Beth is a fucking golden girl, the one who would NEVER do anything fucking wrong.**

**Before I even realise it, I've typed all of this into an email and I blink. I can't fucking send him that! I bite my lip and sigh heavily, deleting the entire thing. What do I say though?**

**I sit there for a while just staring at the screen before typing the stupidest message on the planet.**

_***hi***_

**I send it and close my eyes, growling at myself. **

*Um, hi?*

What the fuck is that all about? I wait for more… something… anything? Nothing. I'm sitting cross-legged on my bed staring at this tiny screen for ages, just waiting.

*r u online?* I hit send on my phone and turn straight to my laptop, sending the exact same thing on msn. This time I didn't have to wait long.

_Linkspointyears - Randy my dad knows_

Shit.

_Ilikesnakes - wtf. how? _

_Linkspointyears – D: i think he just figured it out man. but, kinda… i dunno, like wrong. _

Wrong? What the fuck does that mean? Shit shit shit.

_Ilikesnakes – wrong? how? what did he say? u ok?_

I'm still replying and Justin walks in, fresh from the gym by the smell of him, why the fuck didn't he shower there? He's making the whole room fucking stink, and he's all smarmy and_ 'Hiiii Raaaandy' _at me in what I'm sure he thinks is an enticing drawl but all it does is grate on my nerves. I could seriously kill whoever fucked up our bookings, I swear Justin cancelled his room on purpose and I know I was the only one with a double to myself. That slimy little bastard, and he just knows the bookings manager has the hots for him and would do anything he asks, I just wish they'd show me the courtesy I deserve and actually ASK me first instead of just assuming it's okay. I mean of course I said no, but then I had Vince breathing down my neck in about 3 seconds flat ordering me to let him share. What the fucking fuck? Doesn't he know what rumours that's gonna start? Or even worse, confirm? No matter what I say!

Needless to say I spent all night in the bar avoiding him instead of in here, which meant I had John acting the clown and chief interrogator the whole damn time, much to everyone's amusement. And then when I came upstairs he was sprawled naked fast asleep across MY bed! Fucking cheek! Yeah, I don't think so. I just rolled him off with my foot until he fell off the edge. And right, he just parades all over the place naked all the time as if that's supposed to make me want to like, I dunno, _look_ at him or something, seriously what part of _'I'm not gay' _does the fucker not understand?

And then this morning he decides he's going to the gym just cos _I_ was, so naturally I took my stuff and pretended I was heading in that direction then hid round the corner until I made sure he went in, then I came back here. And now he's back naturally I'm gonna go escape again and finally get my workout in. He better not fucking follow me! Does he think I'm playing hard to get or is he just that fucking thick? I refuse to look at him, literally just ignoring him completely as I look steadfast at the screen waiting for Cody to reply.

_Linkspointyears – i dunno, like stuff about that time i got a boner fighting you, & stuff from before i even joined…_

WHAT?

_Ilikesnakes – wtf? _

At that moment Justin chooses to walk naked out of the bathroom, all dripping wet, so THAT'S why he didn't shower there, so he could pullshitfuckery like_ this_, and he comes and stands right in front of me, completely naked, drying his hair with his arms up above his head and drips going all over me, asking what I'm doing like it's not fucking obvious.

Can't he see I'm fucking busy?

_Linkspointyears – dude i think he thinks we've been fucking since i was like, 15 D:_

Oh my fucking god. I think I'm actually going to die. I'm so embarrassed right now. Cos that's not the first time I've heard that rumour this week. John asked me the very same thing last night. What the fuck have I been doing all these years to be making people think all this shit? Not just think it, BELIEVE it?

_Ilikesnakes – fuck._

_Linkspointyears – ikr D:_

And Justin chooses that moment to disappear back into the bathroom, and I sigh in relief for a second, only then to hear the unmistakable sounds of blatant jerking off, or at least, what he wants me to THINK is him jerking off. Moaning my name. Ugh. I'm gonna be sick.

_Ilikesnakes – cody i gtg_

I just had to get the fuck out of there. Fuck. What the fuck does he think he's doing? FUCK. Needless to say, I didn't go back there for a very long time. I hope Cody didn't think I was bailing on him, timing couldn't have sucked more really could it... I pulled out my phone again as I stood in the elevator,

*had to bail, justin, explain later, escaping (hiding) see you tonight?* then as an afterthought, I sent him one of the cheesy photos I took of myself on the beach the other day.

_*not here anymore but I still wish you were there*_

…

Okay. Well, I'm here. Sunday night, and the main event? Well let's just say it's not gonna be quite what Cody expects… heh.

And I can't fucking wait.

We're both in meetings and briefings and training all afternoon, which naturally I anticipated, so I knew we'd barely even fit in a hello let alone a conversation. I watched him at the creative run down, he wasn't expecting more than a dark match, at most, and I loved the way his face lit up at the news.

He didn't know they'd be getting the strap yet though, that would come later, much later, as in, not until during the actual match hehheh, I want him to be confused as fuck, and I want the elation to be genuine.

And then after that, that's when I strike.

Yep. I like this plan. We'll have all of ten minutes, and that's all I'll need… to say what I wanna say won't take that many words…

**He just signs off and I frown, my stomach sinking so much I actually feel pretty down. I was talking to him. Even if it was some sort of freak out, it was better than nothing and then before it even started it's over again. **

**I'm pretty much sick of this. I want to talk to him. And not on msn. For fuck sake I want to talk to him and look at him and be able to see him. My phone vibrates and I open the message, arching an eyebrow as I see the photo attached. A smile spreads on my lips and I sigh a little.**

_***Yeah. I'll see you tonight. For sure.***_****

**I take a large gulp from my bottle and sit back on the bed, turning my laptop off. Fuck. There is so much running through my brain right now that I'm starting to feel dizzy. Although it might have a bit to do with the half bottle of whiskey currently raging through my bloodstream. I take another gulp as Drew comes back and he looks at me weirdly. **

**"You know, you're going to turn into an alcoholic if you don't stop," he says lightly, grabbing his case and shoving a few things into it.**

**"Where you heading?" I ask, completely ignoring his statement.**

**"Tiffany is here," he says, "I'm gonna go talk to her. I think Matt is coming up to stay here though."**

**I feel my shoulders falter and suddenly I know that one bottle won't be enough to get me through this night. Why is Drew married? Why can't he just stay here and keep Matt away from me? I don't think Matt would bother me so much if he didn't keep dropping these not so subtle hints that he wants to get with me. I mean, seriously, I really feel sorry for him. And he's completely showing it when he's commentating too. And it's really making it worse.**

**I don't know if it's worse for me or him though. I'm reckoning both. For different reasons. Not good for me because it's just feeding everyone's assumption that I'm gay and that I'm suddenly this cock whore who's fucking every guy around me. Which I'm not. I'm not gay and I'm certainly not fucking every guy I see. Especially not Matt.**

**Within ten minutes I hear a key card slot in the door and it opens, Matt dragging his case behind him. His face is all flushed like he's had to run up the stairs with the bags and he huffs loudly, closing the door with his foot as he drops the bags, flopping onto the spare bed.**

**"Fuck," he says, "Stupid fucking elevator was broken."**

**I nod my head and mumble something about that being shitty before I get up, bottle in hand, grabbing some clothes and going into the bathroom. A shower. That's what I need to relax myself. I turn the water on and take a really big swig, filling my mouth completely with the burning liquid, undressing quickly as I step under the steady stream, sighing contently as the hot water rolls down my body. I keep my eyes closed as I run my hands across my torso slowly, pressing my forehead against the wall. I let out a small groan as the muscles across my shoulders start to relax, the tension slowly easing away.**

**"Fuck," I mumble, not able to stop myself from moaning softly as I run my hand down my body. I grab hold of my cock and work myself slowly, the only image coming to mind is Randy. Fuck. I barely have time to jack off anymore with everyone breathing down my throat. And just that one image of him under me, legs spread... the way he moaned and arched. Fuck.**

**I lick my lips slowly, holding my breath as I stay as quiet as possible, the only thing I hear is the sound of the water running, splashing down on top of me.**

**My eyes fly open and I fall backwards, just about catching myself on the side of the bath, my eyes open wide. All I know is that I was screaming, shouting at Matt, my heart in my throat, shaking as I shoved him out of the shower, out of the bathroom, into our room and then out into the hallway. Throwing his case out after him.**

**Fucking bastard! Dude just pressed right up against me in THE FUCKING SHOWER. WTF. I don't care that he's standing out there, naked, wet and hard as fuck. He just... oh my fucking god.**

**I dress myself so fast I don't even bother to dry myself and as I can hear Matt calling me through the door.**

**"Cody!"**

**"Stay the FUCK away from me!" I practically scream, my eyes still wide.**

**"Cody please!"**

**I swing the door open and he runs inside. "Dude at least let me put some fucking clothes on first!" he says, his whole face beet red.**

**"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growl, shoving him hard. I grab his case and bring it back in, slamming the door closed. "Don't you EVER fucking do that to me again, do you understand me?"**

**"Yes! Fuck Cody I'm sorry!" he says, scrambling to get dressed, "I just thought..."**

**"Thought fucking WHAT?"**

**He goes silent and I breathe heavily, shaking my head. "Matt, I'm not fucking interested in you. Take the fucking hint." I glare as I grab my bag, not caring as I go find Drew.**

*******

**To say I'm happy would be an understatement right now. I actually get a match on the pay per view. Fuck. I'm so excited. And fuck, my dad's here too. I grin as I go into the locker room, everyone getting ready. I grab my jacket and smile a bit. Things might be looking up... **

**I mean, getting shipped off to Smackdown has been hell. And this fucking gimmick I've got? Yeah it's totally fun, and I get to act like an idiot. But for a push, the gimmick wasn't so great. Maybe I'm wrong thinking that though. Because I mean, I have a match at this pay per view. And it's a title match too.**

**I bite my lip and glance over at Matt who has been avoiding me out of pure embarrassment all day. I can't blame him really. I did kinda make him stand outside naked with people walking around laughing at him.**

*******

**Oh my fucking god. Are they serious? Is he serious? **

**The ref hands us the belts and I look over at Drew and see him grinning like an idiot, I'm sure I look the same, my own nerves shot to pieces, my head is spinning, and I can't stop wondering why, and how? We've got this. What the fuck? I'm not complaining. Fuck no.**

**Only two things run through my mind as I hold that belt up. One was very simple. Fuck. You. Ted. And the second, fuck I can't wait to show Randy.**

**We walk back up the ramp, all smiles, all fucking happy and I practically burst through the curtain, nothing can beat this feeling. Fucking nothing.**

I fix the belt around my waist and lower my trunks, holding my phone in front of me, snapping a dozen or so shots before I get one that's just what I'm after. Then sneaking a look back into the locker room before I step out of the cubicle I replace it on top of Stephen's bag where I found it…

Just in fucking time. I internally breathed a sigh of relief and I couldn't help but smirk, making sure I was conveniently occupied limbering up and other pre match rituals, deciding not to forgo the wrist tape and making sure the baby-oil was well applied…

"What the fuck! It's back! What? I already looked there!"

I could hear Sheamus freaking out behind me and I chuckle at the thought of what I was just doing with it. My cock is still rock solid under my jockstrap and throbs at the thought of Cody's face when he opens that message later…

"Randy!" I slowly turn around, trying and dismally failing to keep my face neutral as the smirk breaks through and I continue to tape my wrists,

"Did you steal my belt fella?"

"Maybe…"

"What the fuck for?" he was spluttering hehheh, "You can't wait an hour?"

"Yeah I had to take some photos…" I really couldn't stop the smirk now, and I could see his face get even more incredulous,

"Photos?"

And I couldn't help myself, I suddenly just found myself saying it with a chuckle, "Yeah, naked ones to send to Cody to show him what he'll be getting later…" and I almost bust a gut when his eyes widened in horror and flicked down to my groin, flicking straight back up again as he flushed bright red and spluttered in horror, hahahaaa!

"Can I borrow it again now? His match is almost done…"

"Why?"

I smirk again at the suspicion in his voice, and I meet his eye, my own full of mirth, his of horror as he shudders in realisation and walks away, putting the belt down and waving me off, muttering something sounding like 'ewwwwww'. Ha ha. Awesome. I had mere minutes to spare...

…

The look on his face as he comes backstage is nothing short of priceless, and I hope to be keeping that smile there awhile longer. I stare at him from a distance, making sure he sees me as I walk suggestively down the corridor, waiting until I'm sure he's following before turning to lock eyes, ducking into the room I'd discovered at the end of a deserted hall and quickly putting the heavy strap round my waist, my cock straining to be free.

Watching at the crack in the door I see him approach, looking around before stopping hesitantly outside, biting his lip. He's about to knock as I reach out and pull him inside, not giving him the chance to say a word before my lips are on his, devouring him, hungrily, greedily. He didn't need any persuasion, I felt him melt against me, and it felt incredible to have him against me like this, finally, his body hot and sweaty and oily from his match. His hands instantly found my belt and he tried to look down in confusion, but I didn't have time for questions,

"Preview of what's to come later…" I growled in his ear, taking his own belt from his somewhat preoccupied hands and fastening it around his waist. "Fuck I want you…"

I paused for a moment, my hands resting on his perfect hiplines as I took in the sight, his glistening body, slick with sweat, chest heaving, and that was the end of me, I'd been craving this moment for weeks. And he seemed to have much the same idea as he released a guttural roar and pushed me to the floor, pulling me down on top of him, no time to spare as he pulled my trunks down over my hips, my cock springing free and slapping against the belt.

For a brief second the image of handing it to Sheamus covered in cum flashed through my mind but my guffaw turned into a gasp of pure unadulterated lust as he thrust my cock into his body. Exquisite ecstasy ripped through me and I was bucking uncontrollably in an instant, the feeling engulfing me was so intense I had no control over my faculties whatsoever, completely unaware of the music resounding around the arena to indicate the end of the previous match… all I could hear was the metal clinking together as our hips thrust erratically and I cried into his mouth as I erupted into his body, feeling his walls clench violently around me and hot sticky streams coat my chest.

"You look so good in gold…" I whisper into his mouth, my hands running up and down his thighs, cupping his cheeks as I kiss him hungrily, running my thumb gently across his flushed cheekbone as I pull back for a second to look at him properly for the first time in far too long.

"If I didn't know better I'd have thought you engineered this whole thing from the start just so you could fuck me with the belts on…"

I smirk into the kiss in response, we barely have time to breathe as we rub the white strands into our skin and rearrange our trunks, our mouths still attached until the last second before I open the door and walk briskly back down the way we came, handing the belt casually to a horrified Stephen with less than a second to spare before his music hit, stifling my epic grin as he held it at arm's length as he angrily stomped down the ramp. But it was the way he automatically kissed it like he always does before thrusting it into the air and then the look of abject horror that crossed his face as he realised what he'd done that really made me laugh, knowing full well that he knew exactly what I'd just done with it.

I haven't been this happy in weeks.

**I talk to my dad for about five seconds before spotting Randy hovering beside a door leading into a corridor. My stomach flips and I watch him turn around and walk away, my mouth suddenly dry and my chest tight. Fuck. I make my excuses and leave, telling them I'd be back very soon before I find myself almost running after him. Every nerve in my body is buzzing as I spot him slipping inside a door and leaving it slightly open.**

**Shit... I can't help the tightening in my groin as I make my way over to the door. Fuck. I'm about to knock when the door swings open and I'm yanked inside, everything else completely forgotten as I find my lips crashing against his.**

**My hands work of their own accord, feeling and rubbing every single inch of him I can get, every bit of misery I've been through over the last few weeks just disappeared as my fingers lowered to his belt... wait what? I pull back for a split second, my eyes flicking down but stopping as I heard his words in my ear. His hot breath against my skin went straight to my cock, a low growl coming from my lips.**

**"Randy," I breathe as he fastens my gold around my waist and he pulled back a second. I felt his eyes on me, even though I just couldn't look at him. I was afraid that I was gonna wake up or something because fuck if this was a dream I just didn't want it to end. **

**I felt something snap inside me as I pushed him to the floor, wanting nothing but the feeling of him inside me. I wanted him hard. I wanted to feel him for fucking weeks to come. I pulled him on top of me, pushing his trunks down, the sound of the belts smashing together, in an instant my trunks were pushed aside and his cock was inside me.**

**The pain ripping through me was unreal but I just didn't care. I couldn't give a fuck if his cock tore me up as he fills me, thrusting insanely inside of me. I buck against him wildly, my moans loud and hoarse. I swear to god I've never felt anything like this. He feels so fucking good I think I'm going to pass out.**

**I think I lasted a little more than two minutes after that, my hand tugging roughly on my cock as I clenched around him. He growls into my mouth and I swear it's the hottest fucking thing I've ever heard in my entire life. I gasp madly, almost sucking in air as we kiss desperately, hands still roaming, clutching furiously at each other. **

**"Fuck," I groan, somehow standing again, our lips still attached as we fix our trunks. "If I didn't know better I'd have thought you engineered this whole thing from the start just so you could fuck me with the belts on…" **

**The smirk against my lips told me everything I needed to know. For some reason the thought of that made my stomach flip over and my cheeks flush slightly and then he was gone. I knew he had to be in the ring in like, three seconds. But fuck I wanted him for longer. For just one night even.**

**I step out of the little room just as his music hits and I make my way into the locker room, feeling slightly satisfied. Fuck I wanted more. He was like this fucking drug I couldn't get enough of. Just the taste of his tongue on mine, just lingering there. And fuck, the feel of his oiled up skin, just fucking glistening right there in front of me, the feel of him inside me...**

**I closed my eyes for a second, trying to calm myself down, knowing that I won't have him again for how long? Weeks? Fuck. I haven't even got a clue how I'm feeling anymore but I open my eyes and watch him on the screen in front of me, everyone else doing the same. I know I needed a shower because there was only so long before the guys would start to smell the sex reeking from me. I reluctantly got up, grabbing my stuff and heading in, washing myself in about one minute and dressing in less time than that.**

**I go back in and sit down, starting to watch Randy's match. And instead I find myself just watching him. The way he moves, his facial expressions, those little twitches, the way he clenches his jaw. Every single thing just reminding me of when we were together every single time, each time was just burned into my mind.**

**I take in a deep breath, bringing my legs up onto the bench, hiding my raging boner as I grabbed my phone from my bag. I arch an eyebrow, seeing a text from Randy and I open it, my eyes almost bulging from my skull. I actually drop the phone and leap forward, grabbing it before anyone had a chance to see it or even notice it before I shove it into my pocket, my cock now twitching with excitement. Fuck.**

That was the best match of my life, and it had nothing to do with the match whatsoever. And it had nothing to do with Sheamus being so hilariously pissed with me that he actually 'forgot' to pull a single punch and slammed me with extra special venom against the cage on numerous occasions. At one point, he hissed in my ear, in utter revulsion, that he kissed the belt like he usually does before he holds it up and then noticed a suspicious white strand closer than he'd have appreciated to where his lips had just been… I sniggered.

I know I should be, but I'm not sorry. Nothing can spoil my good mood. I had no idea what I was doing as I scaled the cage and stood victorious on the top, it was just how I felt, on top of the world. I couldn't really give a fuck about the belt, well, I could, but not right now, you know what I mean?

My head was entirely consumed with what had happened before, and I was just so overcome with this incredible feeling of relief and fulfilment… I've spent so much time the past few weeks freaking out and being paranoid and overreacting and just generally being miserable. So fucking miserable. So it was about time something finally worked in our favour… elation really doesn't even begin to cover it right now.

I know we still haven't actually properly spoken, we haven't had the chance, but sometimes it's definitely true that actions speak louder than words. In this case anyway, yeah, I think it does, cos there's no way he can be misinterpreting what happened before…

Unless he decides to be a paranoid fuck and question everything and read stuff into it that isn't there and decides I was only doing it to quench a thirst or some bullshit, I tend to over think things along those lines myself, not that anyone would ever expect insecurity of any kind from Randy Orton but believe me it's there. Oh yes. Constantly bubbling away just under the surface. So close in fact that just one crack is all it takes with me sometimes… so anyway yeah, I know it's possible he might too… especially after everything that's happened, I can hardly blame him for having a few trust issues right now.

I'll just have to make sure I manage to convince him properly. I smirk at the thought of how I could do it and feel myself instantly twitch, fuck, I really need to 'convince' him, soon, very soon, oh so many ways... if I close my eyes I can still feel him, his touch, his breath on my skin, his cock in my ass, oh my god, his everything… I close my eyes right here right now and just let the memories wash over me, replaying so much over and over... is it sad that I have my favourite bits on constant replay in my mind that I watch time and time again, reliving with my hand on a nightly basis, never quite the same but enough to do the job…

Fuck, if I wasn't sitting here on a cold locker room floor right now… tempting as it is even though I am… anyone could walk in… I groan, just like the room I found for us earlier, oh my god. And just the image of that, fraught with danger that anyone could see at any second as I took him on the floor, fuck, fuuuck.

My cock is pulsing now and straining against the waistband of my trunks as I sit here, cold beer in one hand head back against the cool metal of the locker, and it'd be so easy just to drop my hand below the elastic and… it wouldn't take much…

Shit…

Oh my god…

Fuck…

That was close. Damn you John, why can't you ever just fuck off?

Fuck I can't wait for Tuesday…

Meanwhile, I guess I could always send him a picture or two, or maybe a certain video… suddenly I'm all hot again at the memory of filming myself jerking off on the bed that day, and the devil in me really wants to send it, right the fuck now… but I know Cody's out eating with his dad and Dustin… dare I? I chuckle, opening my phone, my fingers running over the screen as I debated whether or not to risk embarrassing him like that… I could always feign ignorance… and then it was done. I added some sentiment about how happy I'd been to see him and how I couldn't wait for more, and that this is how he makes me feel. I told him to turn up the sound. Heh.

Maybe if he's not flying out right after his midnight dinner he can come pay me a nocturnal visit… if he doesn't wanna kill me for embarrassing him that is…

But in a way, I kinda hope he does, I wouldn't mind being punished by Cody…

I think everything is gonna be okay.


	12. Chapter 12

**RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.**

Chapter: 12

Words: 7,617

Pairing: Randy/Cody

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Language and m/m slash

Authors: Dierubberducky & vyvrik

A/N: Cody's 1st person p.o.v. is in **bold**, non-bold is Randy's.

**CHAPTER 12**

**I'm sitting in this diner near our hotel with my dad and Dustin, having dinner after the pay per view. The atmosphere was actually quite light, it was comfortable which was weird considering my dad pretty much just found out that I'd fucked a guy. Not that I thought he would ever mind if I was gay. I'm not gay, but you know what I mean. I just thought that he would have probably needed a bit of time to get used to the idea. But he didn't. The only thing bugging me about being here was the little sly comments Dustin muttered every so often, those little smirks.**

**I wonder if he said anything to Randy when he was at Raw... Probably not. But knowing Dustin he probably has made him feel more than uncomfortable on several occasions.**

**Tonight had been probably the best night of my career. Like in actual fact, the best night ever. I won tag team gold out of the blue, Randy won the WWE Championship. And I had awesome sex. Plus after all that I got a little present from Randy for later enjoyment. But that's besides the point. I'm having an awesome day. I don't really think it could get any better.**

**Sitting back, I finish my dinner and my phone goes off. I arch an eyebrow when I see it's from Randy and I open it, reading the message. This is how I made him feel? Turn the sound up? My stomach folds over on itself and I start to fidget, shifting in my seat.**

**"Who's that texting you at this hour?"**

**I glance up at Dustin and I just know that my face has gone scarlet. Fuck. I close the message without playing the video, wondering what it was. I had a pretty good idea. But fuck he knew I was out with my dad. Dustin snorts and goes to say something but I kick him in the shin, hard.**

**After about half an hour I manage to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and I practically sprint there, grabbing my phone from my pocket the second I get into a cubicle. I sit down on the closed toilet and open the message, my fingers shaking a little as I watch the image on the screen.**

**Oh my god. I lose my breath somewhere in the back of my throat as I watch his hand pump himself fast, the small moans and pants coming from the speakers. Shit. My cock is aching for attention as I sit there and before I know it, I'm sitting there beating off at the same pace the video is. I can almost close my eyes and pretend it's Randy doing it. And fuck I'm so close already. By the sounds of it, so is he. His hand is jerking roughly and so is mine, his breathing is heavy and so is mine.**

**"Cody you ok in here?" I hear my dad's voice calling through the outer door and my heart skips a beat.**

**I freeze, stopping the video in a flash. "I'm fine!" I manage to call out, my hand still wrapped around my shaft, my balls aching.**

**"Right... See you outside then..."**

**"Ok!"**

**I hold my breath, squeezing my cock and moving my hand agonisingly slow, making sure he's gone before I press play again. Within seconds I find myself leaning back, my shirt up around my chest, hot streams hitting my stomach as I watch Randy cum, thrusting erratically into his hand.**

**Fuck.**

**After fixing myself up, I splash cold water on my face before going back outside, trying desperately to hide the guilt now raging through me. I just jacked off to my best friend jacking off in a video while my dad and brother were outside drinking coffee. In a public diner. And had a little chat with my dad while I was doing it.**

**It took me another few hours to convince them to go back to the hotel. I think I needed time to myself. I don't fucking know what I need. I hug them both goodbye, telling them I got it from here, and sit there for a few minutes, staring at the message. Not the video. Just the text part. And even just reading that made me want to go up to his room. **

**Room 223. I wasn't even rooming with him. I wasn't even on Raw and I knew where he was sleeping. I asked Stephen in passing after their match. He seemed pretty pissed off. I had no idea why but he just kept glaring at me.**

**Anyway, it's pissing rain out and now I'm just wandering around, not really trusting myself to go back to the hotel. Because I think that maybe I just want to see him. He did say he can't wait for more. More what though? More of my ass? My cock? I find myself hoping that he just wants to see me but I also find myself pushing that thought out of my head because I'll be damned if I let myself feel something that he doesn't. **

**I mean, yeah I kinda know now that he wants sex. I'm**_** so**_** okay with that because, fuck, yeah I want that too. But I think that maybe I might want more. And I don't know if I want him to know that.**

**Then why am I standing outside at 3am dripping wet and knocking on his door?**

I'd finally made it back to the hotel. There were just so many people everywhere, so many fans, so many friends wanting to go for a drink, just so much going on. And all I wanted to do was be by myself. Well, no. Not by myself. Obviously. No, right now I'd much rather have Cody here with me, but I can't. And don't go getting the wrong idea, I just mean to be with, to_ talk_ to. I miss talking to him, just being around him, and maybe we could just, I dunno, he could just come to bed with me.

Again, like I said don't get the wrong idea. I mean obviously this new incredible sex life has opened my eyes in ways I'd never expected and fuck yeah of course I want more of that, there's so much more there to learn, but I don't mean sex right now. I just mean, to be with, to wake up with. To hold. Yeah I'm acting like a fucking girl, so what? I'm human, contrary to popular belief, and I have feelings too. And this job is fucking lonely man. so lonely. You're surrounded by people the entire time yet you're constantly on your own. So yeah, I want company, so what? And I want it to be him. There's so much more that comes with having a person you actually wanna do stuff like that with.

And I miss him.

There's a lot to be said for just having someone there with you, that you wanna be with, whether you're actually doing something or just quietly chilling, not even speaking but enjoying each other's company, you know what I mean right? Well he already was that person for me anyway, before all this crazy shit started, my go-to person, so nothing's changed in that regard, I still wanna be around him just for HIM, cos I feel comfortable with him, I can be myself with him, I just wanna be with him cos he makes me feel… good.

He makes me feel good. Yeah.

And then add this new element in there on top of that, and oh my fucking god, I wanna be with him like _that_ too. Oh yeah, he really does make me feel good, fuck yeah he does. Better than good, fucking incredibly brilliant and just… fuck. But I digress… cos sometimes you know, things aren't always about sex. It's about just sharing good times, having someone to laugh with, just be with. And I just wanna be with him. I know I keep saying it but I just really feel it tonight.

And I know I'm probably only giving him the wrong impression… sending him pictures like that, videos like that, in front of his dad no less, heh... Okay maybe I shouldn't have done that, I hope he doesn't think I'm just trying to humiliate him, cos I'm most definitely not, but I don't wanna scare him away, and okay yeah with hindsight sending that video probably was not quite as good an idea as I thought it would be… but I was horny as fuck at the time and I always do stupid things when I'm horny, always thinking with the wrong head… but yeah. I hope he doesn't think that… cos it's more than that.

So anyway yeah, long story not short but needlessly and ramblingly long… if I can't be with him, I'd rather just be by myself and mope about it. Know what I mean?

I've thought about it a few times, about what exactly it is that we have I mean… and well, I dunno really, we've always been friends, for so long, so long that I don't know how _not_ to be friends with him, and I certainly don't want it to stop, you know? I can't lose him. And the rest, well, we have amazing sex, like, _really_ amazing. Like, opened my eyes to a whole new world that I don't think I can ever go back from kinda amazing. But at the same time, I know for a fact that I never wanna do any of that with anyone else, 'cos I sure as hell have no interest in any other dudes. Fuck no. I think it's only because we were such close friends to begin with that I felt comfortable enough with him to even consider doing anything like that in the first place.

And that we were drunk. _So so so _fucking drunk. That might've had something to do with it, initiating it at least, just a tad. But only the first time… we both went back for more of our own accord sober too…

So where does that put us now? Where do we stand? Are we just gonna stay friends? Friends who fuck? Is it more than that? Cos I really don't know about him, but I know that all this has definitely changed me. And I think when I say I can't ever go back, I think I mean it a few ways, I can't ever go back to just being friends, I'd find myself always thinking about it, our past, the stuff we've done… thinking about his hands on me, his mouth on me, the way he… oh god… and wanting to touch him, yeah, I'd definitely be thinking about touching him all the time. And just looking at him all the time…

Yeah, he's definitely changed me, I could never go back. I think to me, it's more than that, than what it was, when we were just friends. At least, I know I want it to be. I guess it's all down to him. But I think if he just wants it to stay as this weird 'just sex' type deal we got going on right now, I dunno if I can. I mean, I could totally set out to do that, but I don't know if I can stop myself, stop my feelings, like… developing… you know, cos like I already said, to me it's already more than that. But I guess, rather than risk losing him completely, I'm totally willing to just go with the flow and see where things take us… I mean we're on different shows, we have to make do with just seeing each other when we can, and going mad the rest of the time when we can't… of course I can only speak for myself there, but yeah.

Oh god and now I've set my mind racing again. I'm already lying back on the bed flicking channels but I reach for the bourbon instead and leave the remote forgotten as my fingers find something else to play with... Now all I can picture in my head is his devilish smirk looking down on me from above, his big wide eyes staring at me in disbelief when I asked him to fuck me. All I can hear when I close my eyes are the noises he makes when he cums. All I can feel is the ghost of his touch, of his fingers trailing all over my body, and my skin is actually tingling… what the fuck has he done to me? He's not even here and I'm a fucking writhing mess.

I've never been like this before, no one has ever made me scream like that, no one has ever made me fucking _beg_, like a fucking whore, desperate for more, oh my god. And if I ever thought it might happen, the begging part, I never for one fucking second _ever_ dreamt it'd be _THAT_ way, not for_ that_. No fucking way. I mean come on, are you serious? Not a chance. It was the last fucking thing I ever expected.

I was obviously wrong huh. Maybe I never knew myself that well before? Didn't want to know that part of myself? Or just, maybe I needed it to be awakened within me first? Or am I just easily convinced, easily swayed? I do know I'm definitely not one to deny myself pleasure and will always happily seek it out, I just never thought to look for it _there_ before, in _that_ way... But no one can ever accuse me of being unadventurous in the bedroom…

No one has ever consumed my every thought for every single waking moment like this. And that makes me confused. But I'm not the least bit afraid. I'm pretty sure I know exactly what I want, I just don't know if I'm alone in that.

I reach for the bottle again, exhaling loudly with a sigh as I pause in my ministrations, my hand lightly squeezing my tip, making me gasp as I imagined his hand, his hot mouth, and continuing a slow torturous path down and up, down and up, I slowly drove myself mad with desperate need. I grabbed my phone, almost ready to hit call, to see where Cody was and what he was doing… then I noticed the time in tiny digits on the screen and thought a 3am booty call might not be as conductive as I'd like towards mutual gratification… especially when Cody _not_ being mad at me is a specific requirement… and I already had the video thing to apologise for…

Hm, maybe he will tie me up if I get him mad enough… if I ask nicely… I sniggered to myself, and speaking of videos, my fingers already were ahead of the game and flicking through my screens, and in seconds I had what I was looking for.

It didn't take long. It never does these days. It's all his fault he drives me insane. Insane with lust. With desire. There I go being a fucking woman again. Okay okay, he makes me so fucking horny I cum really fast cos I can't control myself at the memory of what it felt like, okay? That better? What felt like you ask? His cock in my ass. There, I said it! Happy now? Oh my god. I can't believe I... I can feel my cheeks on fire at just_ thinking_ those words, the thought of saying it out loud makes me burn up to the point I feel like I'm going to die of embarrassment... and it's not like I'm saying it to anyone other than myself!

The things he does to me. I wish he was here. I'm so tired I could just curl up in a ball and pass out quite happily right now, I just wish he was here to do it with me.

But I sigh again in resignation as I stand, heading towards the bathroom. I don't usually bother to clean up after, but fuck if I didn't somehow make a monumental mess that time…

The usual mist of despair seems to have descended upon me already as I make my way back, a real good jerk always seems to make me miserable as fuck afterwards these days, but I could've sworn I just heard something outside my door… as in… a knock. What the fuck? I stood stock still listening, but I didn't hear it again, so ventured over to the spyhole to check it out.

"Cody?" I practically yelled it to the whole corridor in my surprise and haste to attract the retreating figure's attention, only not running after him due to my lack of attire, and he turned, soaking fucking wet, and all but ran back down the hallway.

"You're wet…"

"You're awake…"

"Are you okay?"

"I am now."

**I looked at him for a long few seconds before actually stepping inside the room and closing the door. I take in a deep breath as I lean back against the wall, insecurity taking over. Why the fuck did I come here? I look at him and I suddenly don't know what to say.**

**He comes over and sighs heavily, pressing his lips to my forehead. **

**"You're soaking," he repeats, tugging on my jacket. I take it off and put it across a chair as he sits on the edge of the bed looking at me. Not that I'm uncomfortable with him, because I'm not. It's just right now the silence is pretty much deafening and I just don't know how to tell him everything I want to. Not that I even know exactly what I want to say to him either.**

**Before I know it I'm just standing there in my underwear looking at him. My eyes fall on the opened bottle by the bed and I wonder if he's been drowning his sorrows like me. I almost cautiously make my way over to the bed and sit beside him, sighing heavily. **

**"Man I don't know what to say to you," I blurt out, frowning, "And I fucking hate that."**

**I'm feeling more angry right now more than anything. I hate that I feel like I can't just hang out with the one person I could talk to about anything. I hate that he's right here and I feel like I'm sitting next to one of those one night stands that you wish never happened. **

**But I'm glad this happened. And it wasn't a one night stand. At least it doesn't feel like one to me. Him on the other hand... I have no idea how he feels about this whole thing.**

**I mean, yeah I get that he wants it again. I mean, so do I. Fuck I really do. But I think I kinda want more than that but I don't know how to tell him. **

Fuck I knew he'd be like this, paranoid and over-thinking things I mean, cos he's just like me in that regard and I've been exactly the same. And the thing is, I've been actively trying not to do it, yet can't stop. I just can't stop thinking… but it's time for action, time for words, all I wanna do is talk to him, I mean really talk, properly, like we used to, about stuff, about everything and nothing, but I don't know how anymore, and it seems neither does he.

I've finally got him right here where I've been wanting him to be for weeks yet neither of us is capable of saying a damn fucking thing. It's really hard, not knowing what he's thinking, it's like not seeing him has hindered my ability to read him, or at least is making me think it has… but I figure I'll go with my gut…

So I just shrug, "That's okay man, you don't have to say anything…" I try as casually as possible to put my arm around his shoulder and pull him towards me, but I felt him instantly tense, so I just brushed a chaste kiss into his hair and drew back a bit, "You're fucking freezing…"

And he was, and I know I was looking at him in concern and I didn't wanna be patronising him and acting like his damn mother but I reached over and grabbed the spare towel from the other end of the bed anyway and wrapped it around his shoulders, rubbing them a bit to dry him off. I didn't want him to think I was just instantly trying it on…

Truth be told I just wanted to lay back and pass out and I'd prefer it if he joined me but I didn't wanna push him and I didn't want to waste this opportunity now that he was finally here. And I didn't wanna pry cos I figured he'd tell me in his own time if he wanted me to know, but why the fuck was he so wet? It's like he was walking in the rain for hours…

I shifted back up against the pillows, retrieving my phone and the remote from where they'd been forgotten in my haste to get off only ten minutes ago, and I feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment as if he'd know what I was doing, my phone still open to the video… but I don't think he even noticed and I settled back and started flicking channels again,

"I was just gonna fall asleep watching some shit on the box…" I ventured, and when he still doesn't respond, just shrugs and stares blankly at the screen, I reached out and took hold of his wrist, just gently holding his hand between both of mine and lacing our fingers together, tv forgotten as I trace patterns over the lines in his palm.

"It's good to see you Cody…" I say it quietly, almost afraid to say anything that might make him go, this weird quiet Cody was freaking me out, "I missed you, you know? Even your bitching and moaning and…" I break off and chuckle as he finally turns to look me in the eye, _finally_, and instantly I'm serious again, "I'm really glad you're here."

I keep his gaze meaningfully for a second longer than necessary, then squeezing his hand gently, I turn my eyes back to the screen, leaving the ball entirely in his court as I just absently continue to stroke my thumb across his palm.

**I close my eyes a little as he rubs the towel around my shoulders. And I swear I can feel goosepimples all over me as his thumbs run across my hand.**

**Its about five solid minutes before I get the courage to even say anything to him. Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with me? It's like I go to see him and now I'm this dumb star-struck mess sitting beside him.**

**"I miss you," I say quietly. Very very quietly. I sigh heavily and shake my head, annoyed with myself for acting so fucking stupid. I look down at his hand and I link my fingers with his slowly, taking a deep breath.**

**"Why can't I talk to you?" I ask, frowning a little. I sit back on the bed, pulling him up beside me and laying down.**

I frown as he says that, my fingers ceasing their gentle caress even though he lay down beside me.

"I dunno Codes.. maybe… maybe cos you don't want to?"

**I can't help but sigh as his fingers stop moving. "I do want to Randy," I say, turning my head to look at him, "I just... I dunno. I just don't know how..."**

"Yeah…" I nod slowly, not looking at him, even though I can feel his eyes on me. I was fine until a minute ago, now I feel like… I dunno. I shrug. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything anyway. Nothing really to say… is there?"

**But there is a lot to say. An awful lot.**

I curl up on my side with a sigh, suddenly feeling ridiculously weary and just way more tired than I realised, and what the fuck was that? I looked at my hand, frowning as I realised I'd just rolled into a random strand of cum, still wet from earlier, hoping there weren't any more surprises left for him to discover too. And suddenly I felt dirty. Dirty and ashamed. And so fucking embarrassed. Everything's fucked, isn't it?

**I lick my lips quickly and watch him turn onto his side, feeling like I'm losing him. His face changes and I arch an eyebrow. I shake my head and scoot in a little closer, biting my lip softly as I reach my arm under him but frown. I pull my hand back and feel something wet and a little sticky on my wrist and I look at him, forcing myself not to snort, a grin spreading on my face.**

"Fuck off."

I bury my face under my arm, absolutely mortified, and just want him to go away now so I can die. I thought maybe he was feeling, I dunno, feeling _something_… like I do… but he's quite clearly not. And he quite clearly doesn't know how to even talk to me now. He must be able to sense it, sense what, I dunno, that I've changed? That I'm feeling… things? I dunno. It's like we're strangers. Strangers in our underwear in bed together… It's like we've been forced together and made to talk, only we haven't, yet we still can't.

"Maybe you should just go Cody. There's some dry clothes in my bag, help yourself."

**He tells me to fuck off and my grin spreads wider. I let out a chuckle and shake my head when he says I should go and I can feel myself relax a little. **

**"I don't think so," I say, leaning forward. I press my forehead against his and smile. "Dirty bastard," I mumble, pressing against him. I wrap my arms around him, ignoring the wet patch and shake my head.**

**"I missed you, you know that?" I say, pressing my lips against his. Missed him? Fuck that's an understatement. I reach over and grab the bottle from the floor and take a large swig, maybe hoping to loosen my tongue a bit. "Want some?"**

I quirk open an eyelid and find myself staring straight into his eyes, "Really?" I asked tentatively, even to my own ears, who are you and what have you done with the real Randy Orton? I heaved myself up on one elbow and took the bottle gratefully, slightly too hastily gulping it down before having the courage to reply, "Cos I meant what I said…"

**I watch him drink and I take it back, having a little more. My gut is kinda twisting and I don't know what else to say without sounding like a girl. I smile and feel myself curl up into him. **

**"I've been kinda going crazy these past few weeks..." **

**Again, another understatement. Becoming an alcoholic, yes, a grumpy cranky prick, yes. I look up at him and press my lips against his, pulling back quickly.**

I'd just about bitten my lip right through after I spoke, waiting with baited breath for his response, but when _he_ spoke I thought I was going to pass out with relief. Fuck. I'm a woman. It's official. And then when he curled against me like that I think I released it all in one breath into his mouth cos he took me by surprise, just kissing me like that. I was so shocked I didn't know how to respond, I definitely didn't kiss him back…

"Good… that's good…" I murmured, debating my next words, my next move, then caught his eye, and he raised his eyebrow at me as if to say '_you did hear what I just said right_?' and I laughed,

"I mean, not good, sorry, just, yeah, me too…" I leant forward, kissing him on the temple before laying back down, biting my lip again as I waited to see what he would do, "Me too."

**I lay there for a few minutes, just laying there. I wanted to ask him what this meant. Did it mean anything other than we liked being together? We were friends again? Even though I don't think we ever stopped being friends. It means that we didn't have to be awkward anymore? He kisses my temple and I smile, sighing softly. **

**I wanted to know what he wanted from this. Does he want the same as me? Fuck I don't even know what it is I want. I just know that I want to be with him more than we have been. I want to be able to just go and lay with him like this without any awkwardness. I want to be able to fuck and kiss and hang out and be friends all at the same time. And fuck this shit of not knowing. **

**I close my eyes and hold my breath slightly, knowing that I wouldn't ask him any of this. I guess I'm just going to be happy that I can be here with him now. Not really doing anything, just to *be* here and relax, feel comfortable with him again. And it feels great, like, it really really does feel great. **

But he didn't do anything. He just lay there. And that's cool. I mean, at least he was still _here_, right? And he wasn't going anywhere. I even gave him the option to and he still didn't go. So I just lay there too. Just watching him. And it felt nice. Yeah. It was nice.

I still had no idea what we were doing but at least we weren't both miles apart and wondering it separately whilst going slowly insane. At least I knew that much, that we'd both been going crazy… that's a good sign really… right? Cos it means that he feels… something? No? I dunno. I'm talking shit. I don't have a clue what it means. If anything at all.

He looks like he's asleep… is he? I can't see his face… I sighed and rolled over onto my other side, stretching out before curling back up, "What the fuck are we doing Cody?"

I whispered it into the air, wondering aloud the question that had been jostling for position in the back then front of my mind in turns since the moment he got here, but I knew I'd never ask him properly, I was too scared that his answer wouldn't be one I wanted to hear.

**"What the fuck what?" I ask, looking up at him. I feel my fingers trail across his side and I sigh a little, waiting.**

**I lick my lip and lean up, pressing my lips against his softly but there was nothing needy about it. It wasn't like I wanted to devour him or fuck him and have him fuck me in some sort of passion filled frenzy. It was just a kiss. A soft nice kiss.**

**I didn't really wanna break away but I did. I smile a little and rest my head against his chest, reaching over for his hand and linking our fingers together again. I hate holding hands. But it's ok right now.**

I rolled back over in an instant the second he spoke, fuck, I thought he was asleep… I must've opened and closed my mouth to reply about four times but I still hadn't managed to come up with anything when he leant up and kissed me… again.

And again, in surprise, I still didn't kiss him back, but I sighed in relief as he lay his cheek on my chest, his massive eyes looking up at me questioningly, his long fingers linking with my own… and it was good. Yeah, it was good. I think I finally relaxed a bit, and I put my arms around him properly and pulled him close, cupping his face and finally kissing him back.

**He kisses me back and I feel myself smile against his lips. I wrap my arms around him, shifting up as I break away for a second. **

**"We're gonna be ok, yeah?" I ask, trying to hide the desperation in my voice. I press my lips to his again, making a content noise as I rest my head on his chest, slowly dragging my fingers across his stomach.**

**My eyes are starting to get heavy. I don't want to sleep yet. I want to lay here and actually be aware that we're together for now, and feeling happy that we can spend time together. But I can't. I'm exhausted, the pay per view, the fuck we had earlier, the stress of my dad and the relief over me right now, knowing that he doesn't hate me, all completely draining me. **

**It's like this weird weight has been lifted and I'll be damned if I let myself feel down again over this. Because I know that we're ok. And I know it's going to stay like this. Even if I'm not sure what exactly is going on, at least I know I have him.**

I just feel so relieved right now, I know it sounds lame but... I mean I don't even know what I was worrying about, you know? What _he_ was worrying about... was it the same thing and we were both just being a bit weird and paranoid? And what does it _mean_? That we were both feeling like this? 'Cos fuck, I was so... so, so _jealous_? Was that it? Really? Yeah. That's exactly it. It hit me like a brick when I realised that and it took some fucking getting used to... And that's not me at all.

And who am I to stake claim over him anyway? I have no right, and he can do what he likes, I know that, but I still couldn't help but feel like that. And yeah that freaks me out too, the realisation that I even _want_ to stake claim over him... what does it _mean_? Does it mean that I ... I dunno. I don't know if I'm ready to put incoherent thoughts into words just yet. Okay maybe they're not so incoherent after all... maybe I'm just too scared to have thoughts like that. To formulate anything like that makes it all become real... and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Such meaningful thoughts and words... and then there's words like jealous, ready, _real_. Nothing really feels real any more. And now what, you know? Now what?

If we'd stayed on the same brand I bet none of this shit would've happened, nothing would've developed like it has, we'd have just stayed fucking like rabbits at every available opportunity and wouldn't have over-thought and over-analysed every single fucking little thing and everything would be fine! But maybe this way... maybe this has made us think, _made_ us collect our thoughts and actually realise... _things_. Like, forced us to face up to reality, our reality, the reality we've created for ourselves, 'cos we only have ourselves to blame...

You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit, like, I dunno, maybe it's all just a coincidence cos it all happened at the same time, the getting together and the, the _feelings_ and shit were like, I dunno, _forced_ on us, or only even manifested themselves at all cos we were separated, or maybe I just think I'm feeling these things because in my paranoia I've convinced myself that I am...

But it's certainly true in my case, I'm definitely feeling... _things._ And who the fuck am I anymore? Feeling things? Paranoia? Who is this? 'Cos it's certainly not me, that's not how Randy Orton rolls, you know? I don't... _feel_ shit. I just don't. End of story. Except now I do. And that fucking scares me 'cos in this business you can't be having those kinda feelings, like ever, you know? And you certainly can't be acting on them if you do, 'cos it'll be like, crucified much? Yeah, exactly.

Vince'll have my balls on a plate and the crowd, fuck, if the fans ever get wind of anything like that it'll be the end of me, the end of us... they'll be baying for our blood and there's no way Vince will ever let it become a scandal, it'd never get that far, we'd both be out on our ears long before that. And the guys, I mean it's bad enough now, with all the shit Cody's going through because of Beth, but can you imagine if they find out it's real? It won't matter if it happened before or after Beth, it'll only matter that it happened, _is_ happening. Although, they were giving us a hard time _before_ they knew for sure, so maybe if they find out it'll be much less an impact, 'cos I mean, well, they already think they had the shock of finding out, so it'll like lessen the blow, right? I mean sure, there's been out guys plenty in the past, and sometimes it's been fine and sometimes it's not ended well... it's just that, well, because it's _me_.

People have always had total misconceptions about me, these fully formed ideas of what they think I'm like, of who I am, both in and out the ring, and they don't even fucking know me. They don't even bother to try 'cos they think what they see is what they get when I'm so much more than that. Well I think so... and this will definitely be an example of that. As bad as it sounds, people have kinda thought shit and talked shit about Cody since the start anyway, I've never understood why, maybe 'cos of his brother and all the misconceptions there too, I dunno, but me, well, especially with the pops I've been getting recently, Vince won't want me to sully his reputation now I've finally got the kids onside... you know what I mean? Yeah, that won't go down well at all. And do I give a fuck?

Yeah. I do. But not really. That doesn't even make sense! Do you have any idea how bad it'll go down if any of this comes out? Like my life as I know it will literally be over, Vince won't even have to see to that, the fans will do it for him, and the other guys. I'll be done and dusted with more than a black eye to show for it, that much I'm sure of. Cody, well, his dad still being around and the lengths I know he'll go to for him and stuff, I doubt it'll quite come to that for him, it'll be more emotional blackmail, more psychological until they break him. Fuck. This sucks. Because what if this really is who I am now? What if I can't hide it and what if I don't want to? 'Cos I don't. Not really... I mean if what John says is true I haven't been hiding it anyway, like ever. And that was before my tiny brain had ever dared to even go there, let alone allowing my body to actually do it. But apparently my actions speak louder than words and always have done, even when I didn't know what my actions were saying. So I'm fucked no matter what I do. Great. Just great.

But right here right now, just being here with Cody like this, I feel calmer than I have done in weeks and like I said, so relieved. The weight of the world is still on my shoulders but somehow none of that matters right now 'cos he's here. I know I'll have to deal with it all eventually, but right now I can just be me.

**I can feel my eyes growing heavier as I lay there, just wrapped up against him and fuck, this feels good. No… not good. It feels like this is where I should be, it feels right somehow. Yeah that scares me. It's scared me from the word go, but right now I couldn't care less about that. I can almost feel my body screaming at me to fall asleep because I just haven't been able to rest. Not properly anyway. All this shit going through in my head, round and round and over what? Me being so fucking paranoid that he's fucking every guy he comes across? Because fuck that, I can't exactly tell him not to, you know?**

**I guess that in the back of my head I've been thinking that maybe we're already more than 'just fucking' which is bullshit. Because for one, we were really drunk the first time and we enjoyed it so I reckon that's why we kept it up… for him anyway… I think. I don't know. And secondly, man if I suddenly turn around and say, "hey, oh by the way, I think I'm gay because I love cock," which I'm not by the way, I was just saying, everyone would just… I don't know what they'd do. I can't even think straight anymore. I don't think my family would mind. Because, I mean, they're a crazy ass bunch of people. But everyone else… and should I really care what they think?**

**It's only the people I work with, the people who control how far my career will go, not **_**that **_**important... yeah right who am I kidding. Fuck sake, they**___**can't**_** figure it out. It wouldn't be hard to figure out though, because I know I've been a moany prick since they moved me to Smackdown. But if they do figure it out, I'm screwed. I'll be fucked. No way in hell would they let me climb any sort of ladder or get anywhere if they found out what's been going on. It's Randy Orton we're talking about here, not some jobber they can drop in a second. **

**I take in a breath and look up at him and he just seems to be completely lost in his own little world. What was he thinking? Was he as worried about all of this as I was? I guess he has been because he hasn't been himself lately either. But I don't know if it's for the same reason that I've been off. Is he just fighting with the fact that he's been straight his entire life and then all of a sudden he's fucking a guy and actually enjoys it? Or is it more? Because no matter how much I try to get it out of my head, I know it's more. For me anyway. **

**I shift up on the bed a little and try not to yawn but fail miserably. I scrunch my eyes shut and sigh, burying my face in the crook of his neck and I smile a little, his scent filling my head. I make some sort of content grunt as I pull the covers up over my shoulders.**

**Sleep. I'll just sleep. And maybe tomorrow we can talk? If there is anything to talk about we can do it tomorrow. I can't think, I can barely even fucking see I'm so exhausted now. All I know is that right here, even though we're not fucking or making out or doing anything, just laying here with him is making me feel relaxed. It's making me feel weirdly safe. I know I'm starting to sound like a chick again but I'm too tired to give a fuck. I'm happy right now and to be honest, I think he is too. That's all that matters in the end right? Just to be happy. I hope that's all that matters.**

**I hope I can just wake up tomorrow and he'll be there. I don't even care if we fuck if I'm being honest. I just think that I need him there. And I know that's what been wrong with me. Because since I started in WWE he's just been there. From the first day up until a few weeks ago, he has always been there. He's my best friend. Now what? Is he still my best friend or are we something completely different. Lovers? I hate that word. Friends with benefits? Because we sure as hell aren't a couple. **

**And when I think about that my stomach clenches and I don't like how that feels. I don't know if it's that I want that or if it's the fact that it terrifies me to think of. But I always seem to get some sort of strong urge to scream at the top of my lungs when I think about it.**

**Even though I know I'm making myself sound like a fucking lunatic, that's just what he makes me feel. He makes me feel like I'm about to lose control at any second and it's just so much worse when he's not there because he's not there to fucking calm me down. I think that's probably why I'm so tired now. He's here, he calms me. And now, even if it's only tonight, I get to just be here with him.**

**Guess I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings.**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

The first light of the morning is barely creeping through the heavy curtains when I begin to stir, my eyes heavy and not wanting to be open, and I wonder why I'm awake at all when I've hardly even been asleep. My mind was full throttle last night, scenarios playing themselves out in my over active imagination, but despite the unrest in my head, my body feels strangely relaxed right now.

I become aware of the warmth close up against me and freeze for a second but then the smile breaks out all over my face before I can stop it. I instantly feel myself relax back into a peaceful state of oblivion as I curl in towards him, my fingertips reaching out to splay across the smooth expanse of skin covering his taut abdomen. The rise and fall of his steady breathing calmed me as I breathed in his scent, burying my face in the back of his neck, the gentle motion of his stomach under my hand lulling me back into a deep sleep whether I want it to or not.

So needless to say, after that dreamlike awakening, the one that followed not long after certainly fell into the category of nightmare.

"Hello?"

We'd both jumped ten foot in the air when the hotel room phone screamed into life, and I scrambled for it clumsily, words on my tongue ready to deliver a vicious verbal rebuttal about receiving a wake-up call I didn't order, but the words died on my lips as the voice on the other end screamed in my ear,

"Vince, calm down..."

_Oh my god..._

"No..."

_Fuck..._

"Yes... Okay fine, he is... yes."

I thrust the phone into Cody's hand, watching him turn white and I bit my lip in sympathy, I could hear Vince shouting from here...

"Yes sir, yes. Thankyou."

I watched him nodding, biting his own lip as he hung up the receiver, then he looked up and the panic on his face was enough to get those old instincts of mine working of their own accord, it was all I could do to refrain from pulling him back down into the comfort of the bed and just hold him close, but I didn't know what he needed from me right now. I did it anyway...

"So what did he say?" I dared to venture after a while of just lying back down, not moving, just being there, just letting him be, and I wondered if he'd gone back to sleep.

"I was meant to be doing media this morning... being the shock new champions and all... breakfast radio..."

"Oh, right... so what happened?"

"No one fucking told me! Vince is furious. Drew had to go do it on his own... fuck Randy, I'm fucked!"

I pulled him back down and moved in close as he tried to get up, and he reluctantly let me, holding my arm as I snaked it around his waist, "No you're not, it's not your fault, how were you supposed to know?"

"'Cos they apparently were ringing my phone all morning... and uh... and I turned it off..."

"Oh... right..."

"Yeah."

He turned and manoeuvred himself around in my arms until he faced me, looking up and biting his lip again before speaking so quietly I could barely hear him,

"I just wanted to be _alone_ with you Randy..."

And he instantly looked away, his eyes flicking back down as if he couldn't even look at me, and I tilted his chin up with my finger until our eyes met once again, and before he had a chance to pull away, our lips did too.

I think I lost track of time for awhile, because fuck, I've been waiting to lose myself in him like this again for weeks. I've missed this, missed him, as pussy as that sounds. Just being here like this. Even under these circumstances. And we have to make the most of it you know because fuck knows when we'll be able to actually get together again, especially now after Vince like, caught us together again. I'm sure he'll be developing some ploy to keep us apart as we speak. Fucking draft.

I reluctantly pulled away with a groan as I heard his phone begin to vibrate on the bedside table, but after quickly checking it wasn't Vince again he pulled me back in and I succumbed instantly, the temptation too great to resist with the knowledge it was all about to come to an end.

When his phone started up again we both groaned in despair as he answered it, and I lay there just looking at him as he turned bright red at something that caused him to hurry through his conversation with his dad.

He's so beautiful. He really is. Even all scowling and angry, especially then. I'm still staring when I realise he's asking me something and looking at me like it's the last time he'll ever set eyes on me.

"What's wrong?"

"What are we doing Randy?"

As much as I wanted to answer with something mundane and reassuring, or magnificent and profound, I knew what he meant, and I didn't know what to say. I don't know what the answer is. What is this? What we have? What we're doing? What have we become? And is there any point continuing whatever it is when Vince will surely stop it in its tracks before it even gets going? But it already_ is_ going. It's getting too big for him though. Whatever it is. 'Cos it's definitely something, I just can't define it. Maybe I don't even want to. Can't we just carry on as we are? Doing whatever this is that we're doing? Doing it more often would be nice... but I definitely don't want it to stop. Any of it.

I chew my lip as I search his eyes and try to find the words, any words, to tell him it'll be okay. But I can't, so I don't, because I just don't know. How can this ever be okay? Just because I want it to be doesn't mean it will.

"Yeah... that's what I thought."

My silent musings provided an answer I never intended and he moved to turn away,

"Cody, wait..."

"We have to go."

"We need to talk..."

"About what?"

"About us..."

"Us? There's an us?"

I looked at him sadly as I realised how close I was to losing him with how I chose to respond, but even considering those options, I was too late,

"Exactly, there's nothing to talk about then is there?"

**I felt like I was waiting for hours for him to answer me, my heart pummelling hard against my chest, I swear I almost started sweating. Just waiting for him to say something… **_**anything. **_**But, of course, nothing came. He just looked at me, and I could have sworn he looked almost sad. But he still said nothing. I could feel this horrible pain in my chest and I took in a sharp breath. **

"**Exactly, there's nothing to talk about then is there?"**

**I sighed slightly and started getting dressed, my mind reeling. I thought that maybe we had something? Or was that just wishful thinking? I reckon it was just wishful thinking because he obviously doesn't… I dunno, I guess he doesn't really feel anything. I gave him that opportunity to say something to me and he didn't. I mean, it's not like it'll change anything. We're still going to be friends… and I don't even know what it was I was feeling. And now, I won't ever find out either. And I have no choice but to be ok with that.**

**Shoving my feet into my shoes, I glance over at him and frown. He's sort of just watching me, frowning too. **

"**We should go eat and head over to the arena before we're really late," I half mumble, running my fingers through my hair.**

**He seemed reluctant to move but did anyway as I stood at the door. I bet I looked like I just wanted to run out as soon as the door opened and if the truth be told, I was ready to dart. Just fucking leave before making a fool of myself. How fucking stupid was I for thinking we might have had something other than just fucking? It's ridiculous… this is Randy I'm talking about. Not that he lived up to that reputation of being a woman eater, but he could have anyone he wanted. At all. **

**What the fuck made me think for even a second he'd want me?**

**I shook my head slightly and swallowed a little, still tasting him on my tongue. He finished getting dressed and we walked out of his room in silence. Not a single syllable was uttered on our way to getting food. Not even in the car on the way to the arena. We were just mute. There was so much hanging in the air and yeah, I know I probably shouldn't have, but I kept my distance when we were walking or sitting with each other. **

**I guess I sat as far away as I could without looking like I was trying to get away from him. Which I sort of was. Half of me wanted to smack him and half of me wanted to run. And I didn't know which part to listen to.**

**I don't know why I'm so fucking bothered by this. It's pissing me the fuck off. I just wish I knew how to tell him that yeah, I like him, and yeah I want to keep fucking him. But there was something else and I just didn't know what. I don't want this thing to stop at all. I love being with him like that but I know it has to end because this will destroy me.**

**Beth was one thing, I cared about her but really, there was always something off with our relationship. With Randy… fuck it's like everything just falls into place. It feels as close to perfect as it can... I think. And if this goes completely belly up it will fucking rip me apart. I know that much at least. But I don't even know why it would because I'm just fucking my friend, loads of people do that. All I know is that if something else happens here and he decides that we're finished messing around, it will hurt. And it'll hurt fucking bad.**

**The car pulls up into the parking lot and I get out, grabbing my bag from the trunk and I head to walk in before he yells at me to wait for him.**

**Even that hurt. See what I mean? I can't even have him talk to me without it hurting already. And fuck that, I'm not going to let myself turn into a bitch over this because nothing has happened yet. I just feel like I'm waiting for him to tell me all this is over and we can stay on our separate brands and just deal with it. **

What the hell just happened? I mean seriously? What the hell did his dad say? What the fuck just happened there for him to completely change tack like that? Okay yeah, I mean apart from me being too fucking stupid to say something. _Anything_. But exactly how the fuck am I supposed to even answer that? I don't even know the answer myself. But I could've said _something_...

I just didn't know what to say! And now its fucked everything up. I mean, somewhere in the deep recesses of my incompetent brain, the words are just sitting in there, stewing, just waiting for me to acknowledge them and admit their existence, but until I do that there's no way they can actually come to the surface and be uttered out loud. And it may seem that the sheer fact alone that I've mentioned even the possibility that such words exist makes them real, well that's not the case at all. Because I don't even fucking know what I'm saying right now! I'm just talking shit. And if I wasn't, exactly what words are we talking about here anyway? Yeah, exactly, that's the problem right there. Confused much? Tell me about it.

To be honest I was taken by surprise. I mean, one minute there didn't seem to be anything wrong, we'd just been having a nice time, you know? Just being there, being together. I thought we were past all that paranoid shit with each other. But maybe I was reading it all wrong the whole time, because then out of nowhere he's asking me questions and demanding answers and we're back there again... or are we?

Or is it really a case of me just not being able to articulate how I feel, am I just not capable of moving on, taking the next step? And what step is that exactly anyway? I don't even know! I thought actions spoke louder than words... but sometimes I guess they leave a lot unspoken and it's in what's left unsaid that the insecurities lie, just waiting to cloud even the clearest judgement.

And I guess the real reason I didn't say anything was because I didn't know what he wanted me to say... when I should've just been worrying about what_ I_ wanted to say... and therein lies the problem really. I was too gutless to be honest with myself so how can he expect me to be honest with him? But he deserves that much at least. All he wanted was a little clarification, and I just clammed up like an asshole of the highest order, because I was scared of what his reaction would be. But his reaction says it all really. The fact he's so pissed with me, I'm inclined to let myself believe, even if only for a second, that perhaps he's been feeling... _things,_ too? Something similar? I don't know.

And now I never will because I've only gone and pushed him away. I should've just admitted how all this has been making me feel. That it's been making me feel _anything_ at all. And I should've admitted that it scares me that it's making me feel like that. I'm out of my comfort zone and I don't like it, but I've never felt so comfortable in my life.

So needless to say, it's not exactly a stress free afternoon, I can feel the permanent crease on my forehead furrowing deeper every time I hear him sigh, every time I see him staring vacantly at nothing in particular, at being incredibly busy on his phone every time I try to talk to him. This fucking bites. And add to that the fact that now he and Drew have to come stop by Raw tonight, we have to contend with all the hoo-ha_ that_ will entail when people see us arrive together. Just fucking great. What a day. Certainly not the way I intended it to go down when I begged Vince to play it this way. And I've still got Smackdown tomorrow to deal with too, fuck, I just know he's not gonna thank me for putting him in that situation... in fact I'll probably cop a punch in the face for my troubles. Too late now. it's all locked in and Vince will kill me, literally, if I fuck him around after all the grief I gave him to get this sorted. Fuck.

But maybe tomorrow will be my chance to let my actions speak for me? For them to be my words when we can't use any, to see if he'll forgive me?

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I barely notice the extreme tension in the arena as soon as we're spotted. It was radiating from every corridor, every corner we turned from the second we got out the rental, stunned silence following in our wake at every step, becoming an excited buzz of whispered gossiping as soon as we were out of sight. But not earshot. It was the first time we'd been seen together properly since all this shit first started with Beth, and since then we've been completely separated, so it's bound to look like we rushed to be together the first chance we got as soon as the shows joined up. But really, you'd have thought everyone would be over that by now. We're old news, aren't we? Judging by the incredulous stares and loud guffaws following us, apparently not. You could cut the tension with a knife when we stepped inside, and all we'd done was unpack the car and cross the parking lot.

"Yeah maybe we should've done this separately..." Cody ventured, stalking ahead as the strains of disdainful mockery reached our ears for the umpteenth time.

I agreed in the confines of my own mind, but I didn't want to say anything else that might alienate me even further from him, so I rambled on some crap about being a united front, we haven't done anything wrong, hiding away would only make us look guilty and result in even more gossip, and my arguments were good, very convincing, I almost believed them myself...

but it didn't stop me from stiffening in reluctance and trepidation when I went to swing the locker room door open.

Expecting to find an onslaught of jeering, jostling attempts to get in the best bullshit insults, nothing prepared me for the complete and absolute silence.

I almost turned and walked straight back out the door again, but somehow managed to act like I hadn't even noticed, convincing myself it was for Cody's sake, pretending like I'd been carrying on a conversation with him all the while and strolling through the room as if oblivious to the stares and the sniggers. John, to his credit, broke the ice by acting like his usual dickhead self and called me an asshole and gave me shit about the football. Thank fucking god. I'll have to remember to thank him later...

And that was all I saw of Cody for the rest of the night. I hated leaving things like that, hated it. The not knowing was killing me. Now I knew how he felt. By the end of the night I was more determined than ever to make it up to him on Smackdown the next day, I just hoped it didn't backfire...

I was so lost in my musings as I hauled my ass off the bench and headed out the door to warm up that I literally didn't even see the solid wall of Dusty I literally ran into. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Not what I needed. What the fuck was he even doing here? I was instantly a school boy again, outside the headmasters office and wondering what I'd done wrong and how I was going to explain my way out of it...

I did my best to smile, act as natural as possible, which I'm sure only served to look as unnatural as it actually was,

"Randy my boy, what's wrong?"

Damn it, it clearly wasn't fooling anyone.

"Dusty, hey..." I moved to shake his hand, attempting to just get it over with, "What's going on man? It's been a while..."

"That it has, that it has. Hm." He stood back and regarded me sternly, hands on hips, and I'm sure I looked like I had a gutful of gas as I continued to smile like a jackass.

"So, you didn't answer my question."

Huh? What question? I didn't even remember him asking me one. My face must've looked as blank as my brain 'cos he laughed and clapped me on the back,

"Ha, Randy, listen to me, the only person you're fooling is yourself. You brain dead in there or what? Just hard of hearing? I said, what's _wrong_ with you?"

"Uh.. I..." I knew I was stuttering, but I really didn't know what to say, I mean, did he want a fucking list? What exactly was it he really wanted to know? Just fucking spit it out, you know? Put me out of my misery for fuck sake.

Before I could convincingly come up with anything at all in reply, Dusty just sighed, his hand dropping from my shoulder, time to cut the bullshit.

"I got a phone call this morning, from Vince."

Well that was matter of fact to say the least, can always count on Dusty to be blunt, I just raised my eyebrow in question, not sure exactly what he wanted me to say.

"He's pissed Randy."

"Don't I know it."

"Are you_ tryin'_ to piss me off? Now you listen to me young man, because answers like that not be helping your cause any boy, that'll be enough of your lip, you hearin' me?"

"I hear ya,"

"Good, now don't push your luck,"

Why did I feel like he was on the verge of putting me over his knee? Or was that just the guilt in me? So why the fuck did I then set about, like, just asking for it? What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You're not my dad Dusty, don't go getting above your station,"

"Oh, you cocky s.o.b, don't you fucking tempt me, and your dad would only thank me for it anyways! And I may not be your dad but I sure as hell am _his_..."

He let that hang in the air, making sure I got the message before he continued,

"And the last thing me _or_ him want is Vince ringing at some god awful hour looking for him 'cos he's missed his first piece of promo in months!"

"It wasn't his fault" I instantly jump to Cody's defence, but Dusty just puts his hand up to silence me,

"Randy, stop. Do you have any idea what time Vince rang me this morning? Do you? Huh? Yes you do, 'cos he rang you straight after, I know that, but we're talkin about me right now. And do you know what he said to me Randy? He said,

'_Do you know where your boy is_ _at?_'

and I thought shit, suddenly it was my job to decide whether or not to go causing all kindsa trouble, telling Vince that Cody didn't come back with us last night when he'd told me to keep an eye on you both, and I didn't like that job one little bit, no sir-ee. Do you think I enjoy having to lie to Vince? Do you Randy? Huh? But I'd cover for my boy if I had to, because you _do_ know what'd happen if I parted with that particular piece of information, right? You _do_ know what that entails don't you? Take a wild guess. But you know what Randy, I never even got more than two words outta my mouth, because guess what he said next! He said,

'_Cut the crap Virgil, I'm ringing to inform you, not ask you...'_

and that's what really pissed me off, Mr Randy Orton. He thought I was not aware of what was going down! Now I don't like being lied to, and I don't like being taken for a fool, being the last to know, or finding it out from somewhere else, so you two had better keep me in the fucking loop, you hear? And him too, while he's still on-side. Because you gotta keep it that way. I had to tell him I'd take care of it Randy, so you consider yourself lucky, and consider yourself on trial, 'cos otherwise Vince will play by his own rules if you piss him off.

All I ask Randy Orton is that you two _think_ about what you're doing, whatever the hell that may be. And I don't care to know. But just _think_ about it, there's so much at stake here for both of you and I don't want my boy throwing away his whole life and getting hisself a broken heart in the process, you understand? So you think long and hard about exactly what it is you really want, and then think _again_. Because if all this is really worth it, you better make sure you and he both know what you're getting yourself into. And if you hurt him, I _will_ hurt you. Think about_ that_ too. Good boy."

And with that, he patted me on the shoulder one last time and disappeared around the corner. I stared after him in shock, open mouthed and eyes out on stalks for quite some time after he'd gone.

What the fuck was that?

I'm not sure if he was giving me his blessing or a curse... Either way, I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.

And just... what the fuck? Seems Dusty is able to articulate what I'm feeling better than I can, the question is, now what the fuck am I supposed to do?

**The feeling I got when we walked into that locker room was just… fucking hell it was almost unbearable. Not a single breath in the air, just deafening silence. I swear my ears were about to start ringing. Out of nowhere John starts babbling on at Randy and the tension was loosened only for a second. I think even he knew this wasn't funny anymore. It sucks because this is my first time back on Raw since all this happened. My first time to be around my friends… or who was supposed to be my friends and they could barely look at me, let alone talk to me. I catch Randy leaving in the corner of my eyes, along with most others to make their way to catering and I can't help but let out a breath of relief. **

**I sit down on the bench and start pulling on my boots when I glance up, almost groaning out loud. "You look a bit stressed out Cody. Everything ok?" **

"**I'm fine Justin." **

**My shoulders stiffen when he sits down beside me and his stupid grin and horrible blinding white teeth and his I'm-so-much-fucking-prettier-than-you hair cut make me want to punch him straight in the face. **

"**You don't seem like it. Didn't get any last night? I saw you going to Randy's room in the middle of the night, you know. But I heard nothing from either of you… Either your sex life is shit or you guys had a fight." **

**It takes every bit of self-control I have to stand up and walk away from him without causing maximum damage. Who the FUCK does he think he is? The door opens and I look over at John who eyeballs Justin. **

"**Make up is looking for you."**

**He simply grins and leaves the room without another word. I see John opening his mouth to say something but I glare at him, "Just don't." **

**He shakes his head and leaves after Justin, letting the door close with a snap behind him. I'm just stewing in anger right now. Justin just pisses me off. He's such a fucking nob. And who the fuck does he think he is talking to me like that? A frustrated growl escapes my throat and I punch the locker before finishing up and making my way to catering. **

**I freeze. I literally stop dead in my tracks in the corridor looking at my dad and Randy talking. Well… my dad is talking anyway. Randy just seems to be standing there rigid. What the fuck are they saying? My heart leaps into my throat suddenly, a wave of panic taking over me. What the fuck? **

"**Cody, come on!" **

**I snap my head around, my cheeks flushing instantly when Drew rolls his eyes at me and grabs my arm, "Save your perving for later man, we've got to go." **

"**I wasn't perving!" **

**He mumbled something, sounding amused but I didn't hear him. My brain was still stuck on what I had saw seconds earlier. I couldn't concentrate at all out there. I couldn't even remember what we were doing on Raw in the first place. I felt so out of it, the entire segment was a blur to me. No one seemed to notice how off I was though so I wasn't going to get shit over it when I got backstage. All I wanted to do was to go speak to my dad. See what the fuck he was thinking about talking to Randy like that without me knowing. **

**I dragged my belt behind me as I speed walked towards the locker room to get my stuff. **

"**Cody!" **

"**For fuck sake, WHAT?" I roared, spinning around to see who was getting in my way of finding my dad, "Oh shit…. Sorry… I didn't realise… I didn't know it was you... Sir…" **

**When I turned around I was met with those icy black eyes, tearing a hole straight through me. My heart was hammering against my chest and cheeks flushed wildly, swallowing hard.**

**He straightened himself up and walked over to me, tilting his head slightly. **

"**Congratulations on your win last night." **

"**Th…thank you…" **

**He looked at me straight in the eyes, an action that make me kinda want to run the fuck away. He could be very… intense at times. **

"**Don't fuck it up," he said, pointing a finger to my chest. I watched him turn on his heel and walk away, leaving me standing there like an idiot, my eyes wide and a horrified look on my face.**

**I walked back to the locker room and started to get changed, my head so far up my ass I'm surprised I was able to even fucking see. Even though there wasn't as much tension here right now, I don't think I could care if I even tried. I felt like everyone was against me or something, how paranoid was that? It's like every time I went to do something or say something, somebody was pulling me in the opposite direction, telling me I'm wrong.**

**And maybe I am wrong. Not just about Randy, but about everything. Moving to Smackdown has done so much for my career but I haven't done a damn thing to enjoy it. All I've been doing is shutting myself away, drowning my sorrows over a guy who obviously doesn't give a rats ass about how I feel about him. **

**Him. **

**I sigh as I go to a taxi and go straight back to my hotel. Him. That's another thing that's still bugging the shit out of me. Randy is a guy. I never thought I'd ever be with a guy. Of course I had thought about it once or twice, just the usual "wonder what it'd be like" but I always got this horrible fright when I did. So I just stopped thinking about it. I'm sure it's the same for other guys too. I think? And here I am again, questioning myself. I'm old enough now to fucking know I'm not gay. But I'm still questioning it. And the worst part is that, yeah I have started noticing guys that are some-what attractive. But that's normal right? I think I always did that, just never actually thought about it. **

**What if I am gay though? I frown and grab a bottle of whiskey from the bar before going straight up to my room. What does that even fucking mean anyway? If I'm gay does that mean I have to parade around like Justin? Fuck no. I hate that fucking bastard. Who the fuck does he think he is anyway? Some fucking rookie who thinks he can sleep his way to the top? Pfft. It doesn't fucking work like that. He's just getting tossed from one guy to another and he's lapping up the attention. I take a long swig from my drink and cough, lighting up a cigarette. Lapping up the attention that his ass gets. Fucking prick. Anyway, back to me questioning my sexuality. **

**I sound like a fucking lunatic. And I'm aware of that. But it's just me here so I don't even care right now. I know when I was with Randy something snapped in my head. Something fell into place for me and it scared the fuck out of me because I never considered myself gay. Not even bisexual… and then I think about the girlfriends I've had and how long those lasted and I always put it down to the fact that they weren't right for me or that I wasn't ready to settle down with one person for longer than a month or two. And when I was with Beth for six months that little remark Dustin made about Beth being a bodybuilder and that sometimes she looked like a guy. I got so angry with him. I thought it was because… I dunno, she was my girlfriend, you know? I don't like people saying shit about the people I care about. **

**And now I'm remembering back to that and yeah, Beth was probably the only chick that ever… did anything for me? I know that sounds weird but whatever, people are into different things, you know? So what if I never went for whippets. They're just not for me. And then Randy… fucking hell. The weight of him, his skin, the way he felt under me was incredible. I'm getting shivers just thinking about all of that and I need to feel it again. I fucking missed it so much and then this morning I was kinda just slapped in the face. **

**Nothing. **

**Was it so wrong to wonder what was going on and get some sort of confirmation of that? I didn't think it was. I couldn't even read his face, his expressions. I don't fucking know. **

**I grab my bottle and frown when I see it's quarter gone already. I sigh and shake my head, standing up and taking off my shirt, dropping it to the floor. I frown when I hear a knock on the door and I open it, scowling when I see Matt. "What do you want?" I snap and he blinks at me. **

"**Um… Just wanted to see how you were…"**

"**I'm fine."**

**He stands there for another few seconds. Is he waiting for some sort of invitation or something? Fuck him. "Ok… I'll see you…" **

**I glare and slam the door closed, my chest suddenly heaving with frustration. Matt. What a fucking freak. How can he just walk around and not even care that people see's the way he's looking at me and that people are talking about it all the time? Why the fuck doesn't he care about that! Am I that fucking paranoid that I can't do anything without feeling like I'm being watched constantly? **

**Fuck Randy. Just fucking FUCK him. And fucking forget about all this shit because it's not fucking WORTH it. I'm tired and I'm sick of all this drama and shit and I just want it to be over now. I take another swig from my bottle and kick off my shoes. I was doing ok. And I can do perfectly fine on my own without him and without anyone else for the matter. Fuck the whole fucking lot of them. Just leave me alone and let me get on with it. **

**I close my eyes briefly and sit back down on my bed. No matter how angry I am I can't even pretend to hate the fucker. I want him here but I feel like smashing his face in. Why doesn't he just tell me. **

**Tell me what exactly? That he wants me with him? That he misses me? That all he wants to do is fuck me? Or is it something else completely? I'm avoiding it so much now that I'm starting to get a fucking headache. I don't even have the balls to ask myself about it, let alone to ask him. **

**I wish that I could just up and ask him. Because I was never jealous until this happened. I was never as screwed up over someone until this happened. I never felt like this at all until this happened. And the worst part is that I'm so afraid of what this feeling is that I'm going to destroy it before I could ever do anything about it.**

**What am I meant to do? Do I just let him keep me in the dark and keep going the way I'm going?**

**Or do I just forget about everything and move on. **

**The latter is sounding more and more tempting by the second. Maybe I just need to get laid by a chick and all this will end. I will remember why I'm not gay and this shit with Randy will be put to rest once and for all. Because lord knows my brain needs a break or it's going to fucking explode.**

"Hey stud,"

I looked up in surprise from my spot holding up the bar, it was late, and the voice behind me purred into my ear, the last person I needed to see leering at me. Gross.

"Fuck off Justin." I really was just not in the mood to entertain this jackass who won't take no for an answer, fuck, he doesn't understand the meaning of the word.

"Aw babe, don't be like that, I only wanted to ask if your boy's okay, no need to get pissy with me, I'm trying to be nice... he is still your boy right? Or have you two had a fight?"

I instantly tensed up, what the fuck is he playing at... Shit now he's got me all worried when I know he's just trying to rile me up, "What part of fuck off are you finding it difficult to understand exactly?"

"You're always so mean to me Randy when _all_ I want is to be nice to you," he pouted and all _I_ wanted was to smash his teeth in,

"Why wouldn't he be okay Justin? Enlighten me, please." I sat back, folding my hands behind my head and leant back in my chair, knowing full well my tshirt rose a little by his inability to remove his eyes from my abs.

He licked his lips and I shuddered with disgust, his eyes returning to my face for a second as he met my impatient gaze, "I dunno," he shrugged, "Just I saw him before looking all uptight and shit, and you know, people are saying stuff..." he trailed off, biting his lip as if it was supposed to look enticing, trailing a finger over the wood on the back of the chair opposite me, "Can I sit down?"

"No." I barked, "What stuff?"

"It'll cost ya..."

"Will it now?" I scoffed in disgust, "Fuck off Justin."

"You'd wanna know this Randy, trust me."

"Whatever. Fuck off."

"So where is he now then huh? Do you have any idea? Don't you care?"

What the fuck?

"Word is he left with Layla, they were looking pretty cosy together last time I heard..."

I stood, downed the rest of my drink and punched him square in the face. Not really, but I wanted to. I just threw some notes on the bar and walked away, but it wasn't easy, that stupid flick of his fringe and the way he was looking up at me through it with hooded eyes, I wish I had punched him, but he'd probably just take it as an invitation so I kept my hands firmly in my pockets out of harm's way.

I had no idea what to do with myself now, my plans for drinking the rest of that 20 year old malt scuppered, and my head all over the place. I had to get up early to head to the next city for Smackdown tomorrow but I was far too riled up to even think about sleep. That's where the whiskey and 20 pack came in. Or at least had. I headed outside instead to clear my head, hoping to at least decide whether to go ahead with my plans in the ring with Cody tomorrow, or to bail on it altogether. I still had to go, Vince had made sure of that, but at least I could maybe just pretend I had no idea why I was there either... I dunno. I still wasn't sure which way to play it.

I mean, it's not like Cody seemed to give a shit now whether I was there or not, so was it even worth it, or would I just be wasting my time? I just don't know anymore.

I lit up a smoke and inhaled deeply, leaning back against the wall round the side of the hotel. I closed my eyes, needing to just forget everything for a moment and chill the fuck out. I wished right then I had something stronger and as that thought hit me, I realised how lonely I felt right now. 'Cos that was something I'd always shared with him, and I wished he was there with me as a pang of self-pity washed over me. Look at me being a morose bastard, but I guess all this shit is really starting to get to me.

I threw the end of the smoke away, I couldn't even find the energy to stand suddenly and I stubbed it out with the heel of my boot, dragging my heavy carcass back inside. I was feeling suddenly more tired than I remembered feeling in a long time, thoughts clattering around my brain vying for attention. I still hadn't decided what to do tomorrow, about Cody. I thought maybe I'd sleep on it, give myself a chance to unwind and see how it all feels in the morning, 'Cos right then it felt like a fucking hopeless case, like what's the point, you know?

And I was trying my hardest all night not to check my phone, but I must've pulled it out about 4 times just in the time it took me to trudge back up to my room. I took the stairs. I ran. And as soon as I got inside I emptied the mini bar, falling asleep on top of the covers not long after, still completely clothed.

And I have to admit the morning didn't look much brighter, but I said to myself that if I didn't at least try, then I'd never know. So I set forth with gusto, working my ass off in the gym, working up a sweat, clearing my head and sorting out my shit. I had my plan. Now I just had to stick to it.

It was late when I arrived at the arena, I wanted to be completely unannounced and a complete surprise to everyone, like almost an afterthought, as if I'd just been brought in last minute, nothing suspicious at all... I hid out all day, not making an appearance until right before my match. And all day I'd been to-ing and fro-ing over how to play it. My stomach was twisted with insecurity and I just had no idea.

Until the moment I saw him.

I gulped. He was literally running down the corridor after one of the road crew, obviously sent to fetch him last minute, just as planned... he was still wrapping his wrist and stopped to tighten his laces when he got to gorilla, bending over right in my line of vision, my resolve weakening at the sight. He stood, adjusted his trunks and jumped up and down on the spot, just as I was doing myself, only he couldn't see me back here in the shadows where I'd been waiting for the call.

I could hear him asking what was going on, and snippets of the reply as Drew joined him, similarly out of breath and looking confused. I heard him ask who he was replacing as the orders were shouted out about queuing entrance music and other such last minute details the stage hands were making themselves busy with, cleverly avoiding his questions out of sheer time constraints, just like I'd planned. Fuck. Now or never.

I heard him ask who he was facing again as my music hit and I walked past him, staring straight ahead, viper in place as I walked down the ramp, every fibre of my being screaming to look behind and see his face...


End file.
